The Broken Hearted

Sunday, September 20, 2020

It is good to be back with you. I thought we would stay home a bit longer, but after a lot of discussion with John we ultimately decided that our 8-year-old Luke’s baptism day would be a good day to come back. We no sooner made this decision, than John mentioned that he needed speakers for today and I hadn’t spoken in Sacrament Meeting in quite some time. I feel his motives were suspect but I’ll give the talk anyway. I was actually supposed to speak the first week that church was cancelled because of COVID-19, so maybe me finally speaking now will break the curse! Who knows? Regardless, I hope that I can share something meaningful with you today.

A while back John and I were reading the talk by Elder Renlund that became the basis for today’s topic, and this quote stuck with him so much that he texted it to himself from my phone so he wouldn’t lose it: “remember, joyfully and reverently, that the Savior loves to restore what you cannot restore; He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted upon you; and He loves to permanently heal even shattered hearts.”

As I have been studying Come, Follow Me and pondering on how the Savior mends our broken hearts, I have found myself circling around a bit of a paradox in my mind. There are some scriptures that speak of the Lord’s ability to mend or bind up broken hearts:

Isaiah 61:1–The ​​​Spirit​ of the Lord ​​​​​God​​​ ​is​ upon me; because the ​​Lord​​ hath ​​​anointed​ me to ​​​preach​ ​​​good tidings​ unto the ​​​meek​; he hath sent me to ​​​bind​ up the brokenhearted, to ​​​proclaim​ ​​​liberty​ to the ​​​captives​, and the opening of the ​​​prison​ to ​them that are​ bound;

But as I searched I found that the vast majority of the scriptures on the topic speak of a broken heart as an offering to the Lord or a prerequisite for the companionship of His Spirit, as in this scripture from this week’s reading in the Book of Mormon. 

3 Nephi 9:20–And ye shall offer for a ​​​sacrifice​ unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I ​​​baptize​ with fire and with the Holy Ghost.

It got me wondering how these metaphors relate to one another and what that means for applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my life. As I thought about this, two experiences came to mind.

The first was probably the most dramatic and trying experience of my life. Shortly after my 18th birthday, and this next part will date me quite a bit, our family received a fax that changed my life forever. At the time my dad had been working for his mother and step-father’s company in Japan, and was traveling back and forth between Tokyo and our home in the Central Coast of California. This time we hadn’t heard much from him after he arrived, and assumed things were busy at the office. But a few days later my sister and I found a hand-written fax on our machine with a little picture of an ambulance drawn on top. We couldn’t read Japanese so we didn’t know what it said, but I still remember that little drawing. We called my mom who quickly got in contact with the office in Japan, and it turns out my dad had suffered a stroke a few days previous and was in the hospital. My grandmother hadn’t told us, out of some mixture of fear and guilt and distress, but one of the employees at their small family company felt we should know and sent the message. We were assured that my dad was stable, and my mom and brother got on a plane as soon as they could to go be with him.

The next two days were full of assurances from doctors and a promising blessing given by the president of the Tokyo South Mission. Plans were made for physical therapy, for my mom and brother to stay with my Dad in Japan until he could travel home, and for my sister and I to go see him as soon as we could arrange passport renewals. But the next night my father had another stroke and passed away.

I remember how crushed I was to find out, and how completely surreal it was. I remember having to tell my sister and her throwing her pager across the room in anger and despair (again I’m telling my age here). But even more I remember that night as I knelt on my bed for what must have been an hour or two or more. I have never been good about kneeling and having long, formal prayer conversations; I am forgetful and so I tend to say a lot of little prayers throughout the day, right when I am thinking of whatever it is that I need to ask for or thank my Father for. But that night I felt I absolutely had to have it out with Heavenly Father, however long it took. I had to know if my Dad really wasn’t gone forever. I had to know if I would see him again, and if the course I was setting for the rest of my life was the right one. I had to keep reaching until I received that consolation because otherwise I didn’t know how I could face the next day and all the ensuing ones. And eventually that night I did know. My heart was bound up in peace, and I knew it would be okay, even if I knew nothing else. And little by little, from that moment, my broken heart was mended, and while the pain of losing my Dad will never be completely gone, I was able to feel whole because of that peace and those assurances. I know that the Savior can hold us and heal our hearts when mortality brings its inevitable heartbreaks, because He suffered all these and more so that He would know how to help us.

Fast forward to my other experience, which started just over 11½  years ago and will continue the next 18 years and probably the rest of my life. That experience, or combination of experiences, is motherhood. And while motherhood has been beautiful and soul-enriching experience that has brought me so much love and joy, and of course my six boys,  it has also been the most heart-breaking experience I have had. Losing my dad was something external that happened, and my heart broke from sadness—the kind of heartbreak we usually talk about in the world, where we lose something and we grieve the loss. But it is possibly even more heartbreaking to me to daily come up against my own weakness and to fail my boys on a regular basis. Every time I lose my patience or my temper and wound their little hearts, mine breaks. I find myself constantly forgetting that, and least until they are 8, they are the perfect ones and I am here to teach and coach them and learn with them, not to control or force them to obey me and walk the path I would choose for them. As a result I spend many nights asking forgiveness for the same things and wondering if I will ever feel like I’m doing it right or if I’ll always be broken.

This is where that second type of scripture I mentioned has brought me hope. Perhaps I am broken-hearted because of my failings, but that broken heart means that the Savior can enter. In fact, He requires it of us, because none of us is perfect, and that sorrow, if yielded up to God, brings us to Him. All of us are broken—every one of us on this earth—and we can choose to build a wall of shame or of pride to hide our brokenness, or we can be vulnerable and offer up our heart so that His light can penetrate. Being vulnerable is against the nature of the natural man, and takes humility and spiritual work to achieve. It requires that we constantly keep our focus on removing the beams from our own eyes, so to speak.

In October 2015 General Conference, Sister Neill Marriot of the Young Women’s General Presidency put it this way:

True worship begins when our hearts are right before the Father and the Son. What is our heart condition today? Paradoxically, in order to have a healed and faithful heart, we must first allow it to break before the Lord. “Ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit,” the lord declares. The result of sacrificing our heart, or our will, to the Lord is that we receive the spiritual guidance we need. 

With a growing understanding of the Lord’s grace and mercy, we will find that our self-willed hearts begin to crack and break in gratitude. Then we reach for Him, yearning to yoke ourselves to the Only Begotten Son of God. In our broken-hearted reaching and yoking, we receive new hope and fresh guidance through the Holy Ghost.

In short, the only way the Lord can heal my broken heart is if I offer it up to Him, trusting that He will make it whole this time and every other time, day after day, until at some point in an eternity I can’t now see my heart will be one with His. I don’t have to do the work of healing on my own, but I do need to do the work of opening my heart to Him and submitting to His will. That may mean that I follow a prompting to change a behavior or to offer an apology. It may also require me to consider a medical or psychological intervention, or to ask for and accept help. If my heart is truly broken, I’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to facilitate the healing I’m asking for. 

In October 2013 General Conference, Elder Randy D. Funk shared this:

The Lord instructs His servants to be humble because the process of being made whole spiritually begins with a broken heart. Think of the good that comes from broken things: Soil is broken to plant wheat. Wheat is broken to make bread. Bread is broken to become the emblems of the sacrament. When one who is repentant partakes of the sacrament with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, he or she becomes whole. As we repent and become whole through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we have much more to offer the Savior as we serve Him. “Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him.”

We can safely offer our whole souls and hearts to Him because He knows how to succor us. Like that sacrament bread, He was broken for us. We can’t imagine how broken He felt in those moments, but it was enough that He cried out for the pain to be taken away if possible, and later to question why His Father had left Him. He understands when we likewise feel alone with our heavy burdens and broken hearts, but because of His gift we don’t have to carry our burdens alone. 

Elder Funk continues:

If you are burdened by sin and need to repent, please do so immediately. When the Savior healed those who were afflicted, He often invited them to rise up. The scriptures record that they did so straightway, or immediately. To be healed of your spiritual afflictions, please accept His invitation to rise up. Without delay, talk to your bishop,...and begin the process of repentance now.

The healing power of the Atonement will bring peace to your soul and enable you to feel the Holy Spirit. The Savior’s sacrifice is beyond measure, but our sins, though numerous and serious, may be counted and confessed, forsaken and forgiven. “And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!”

I know that the Lord has forgiven me and healed even my self-inflicted wounds, and I trust that He will also cover the wounds I have inflicted on others because of my failings. I still get discouraged regularly, and still wonder if I’ll ever close the gap between what I am and what I know I should be. When I spend time focused on that gap, as I tend to do, I get depressed and exhausted. But when I shift my focus to the Savior and bare my heart to Him, He fills that gap and forgives me time after time. And if I am broken, He has asked me to be.

If you find yourself right now broken-hearted and lacking hope, please let these words sink into your heart.

President Benson:

The Lord is pleased with every effort, even the tiny, daily ones in which we strive to be more like Him. Though we may see that we have far to go on the road to perfection, we must not give up hope.

Elder Anderson, Wounded, October 2018:

Never give up—however deep the wounds of your soul, whatever their source, wherever or whenever they happen, and however short or long they persist, you are not meant to perish spiritually. You are meant to survive spiritually and blossom in your faith and trust in God.

God did not create our spirits to be independent of Him. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, through the incalculable gift of His Atonement, not only saves us from death and offers us, through repentance, forgiveness for our sins, but He also stands ready to save us from the sorrows and pains of our wounded souls.

The Good Samaritan

The Savior is our Good Samaritan, sent “to heal the brokenhearted.” He comes to us when others pass us by. With compassion, He places His healing balm on our wounds and binds them up. He carries us. He cares for us. He bids us, “Come unto me … and I shall heal [you].”

“And [Jesus] shall … [suffer] pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; … that … he [might] take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people … [taking upon Himself our] infirmities, [being] filled with mercy.”

If you find that you aren’t brokenhearted, I’d invite you to follow Sister Marriott’s counsel that I shared earlier, and reflect on the incomprehensible grace and mercy of Jesus Christ and allow that to break your heart. Ask, “what lack I yet?” and be willing to hear the response. It’s something I need to do more often, and I avoid it too often because it’s hard to face more of my own failings. But failing in mortality doesn’t make us failures. Failing in mortality, to one degree or another, is why we are here, because failing shows us where we can learn and where we can rely on the Savior. It’s what opens the opportunity for us to repent and to come to know Him in the process. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

I testify that He suffered all things and died for us, and that He lives again. I don’t know everything, but I do know that He can bind up our broken hearts and give us His peace.

Experimenting and Exercising

 

Afflictions, Pain, and Joy

 

He adds joy.

Notes on Faith from Ether 12

 

The Ongoing Restoration

I was scheduled to give a talk on March 15. Usually my talk preparation drags out, and I revise and revise until right up until I give it. But this time I pounded out a talk early in the week, read it through, and then couldn't think of anything else and set it aside. Of course that was the first week that our regular church gatherings were cancelled, so this talk wasn't meant to be given. But I am sure I was meant to study and write it. So I'll post it here like I usually do with the talks I write.

The Ongoing Restoration

When he was getting ready to plan speakers for this month, John decided to go through the old programs and lists of who has spoken in the last year or so to make sure he didn’t ask people who had just recently spoken. He came downstairs after compiling his spreadsheet and asked, “You know who I noticed hasn’t spoken in quite a while?”

You can guess the answer, and here I am, packing in all of my Sacrament Meeting participation before I have this baby next month and become a hermit for a while. (This is funny in retrospect; we all became hermits a lot sooner than I had anticipated.)

Today I’m going to talk about the ongoing nature of the restoration and what it means for us to live now, in the dispensation of the fullness of times. I’m grateful for the opportunity I’ve had to reflect on it this month as we are preparing for General Conference and the bicentennial of the First Vision.

Elder John A. Widtsoe of the Quorum of the Twelve told of a time when he was with a group of stake officers and someone asked him how long it had been since the Church had received a revelation. Elder Widtsoe rubbed his chin thoughtfully and replied, “Oh, probably since last Thursday.”

In his talk, “Are you Sleeping Through the Restoration?” Elder Uchtdorf said, “Sometimes we think of the Restoration of the gospel as something that is complete, already behind us—Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, he received priesthood keys, the Church was organized. In reality, the Restoration is an ongoing process; we are living in it right now. It includes “all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal,” and the “many great and important things” that “He will yet reveal.” Brethren, the exciting developments of today are part of that long-foretold period of preparation that will culminate in the glorious Second Coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”

A huge part of what makes us different as a church is our belief that revelation is ongoing; that “[God] will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God.” I love this doctrine, and I love that we have a living prophet on the earth today to guide us. But there has always been a little question or tension in my mind, which I have summed up this way: How is it that we say that the Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the Gospel, or that the Prophet Joseph Smith restored the fullness of the Gospel, if there are still great and important things yet to be revealed?

When I think logically about this, two answers come to mind:

1. There must be a difference between what we call “having a fullness” and “having everything.”
2. Having a fullness doesn’t mean that we understand and apply it fully.

I think both of these apply to us in these last days; we are seeking to understand the fulness we have been given and to increase to perfection through Jesus Christ.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained what it means to live in the dispensation of the fulness of times:

“Whenever the Lord reveals the plan of salvation anew so that men do not have to rely solely upon prior dispensings from heaven of the same glories and wonders, it is called a dispensation of the gospel. This may or may not involve a restoration of keys and powers and priesthoods. 

…

“We live in the dispensation of the fulness of times. That is to say, we live in the dispensation of the fulness of dispensations. We have received all of the ‘keys, powers, and glories,’ possessed by them of old. Angelic ministrants have come from these Biblical dispensations which had distinctive keys and powers—‘all declaring their dispensation, their rights, their keys, their honors, their majesty and glory, and the power of their priesthood.

“In the dispensation of the fulness of times,’ as Paul promised, the Lord will ‘gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth.’ All of the rivers of the past have or will flow into the ocean of the present; already all of the keys and powers have fallen to our lot; in due course all of the doctrines and truths will be manifest to us.”

My translation of all of this is this: we have all of the Priesthood keys and powers, all of the principles and ordinances of the Gospel necessary for our salvation and exaltation, and because of that, we have the ability to receive every doctrine and truth as we are prepared to do so individually and as a church.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Of all things, that for which we should be most grateful today is that the heavens are indeed open and that the restored church of Jesus Christ is founded upon the rock of revelation. Continuous revelation is indeed the very lifeblood of the gospel of the living Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

We are all a covenant part of this dispensation and of this process of ongoing revelation and restoration. It will not be completed “until we come to the fullness of the body of Christ,” and it requires something of all of us. President Kimball continued:

“it is the sad truth that if prophets and people are unreachable, the Lord generally does nothing for them. Having given them free agency, their Heavenly Father calls, persuades, and directs aright his children, but waits for their upreaching hands, their solemn prayers, their sincere, dedicated approach to him. If they are heedless, they are left floundering in midnight’s darkness when they could have the noonday sun.”

I think if any one of us examines our own hearts, our own understanding, and our own commitment to the Gospel, we will find places where we are lacking the investment of time or study or obedience that would be required to really understand and apply the principles of the Gospel in our lives. These things come, as Nephi put it, “line up one line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little.” It is the work of a lifetime and then some to grow and be converted unto the measure of the fullness of Christ. The more we learn and obey, the more the Lord can add to our understanding.

The same is true for us collectively as a Church. Sometimes we expect perfection out of the church organization and leadership, and become upset when teachings or policies change over time, but we forget that the Church is no more than the sum of a whole lot of imperfect people striving to become perfect through Christ and trying to follow Him. The only perfect thing about it is the person leading it—Jesus Christ—and the authority that He has delegated. The process of growth and revelation that this authority enables works just as it does for each of us as individuals: we are taught line upon line as we are ready to receive, and our understanding as a church will grow and be perfected over time. This means that we should not only accept when the prophet asks us to stretch or grow or even change our minds, we should expect him to do so.

It also means that as we look back on the great unfolding of this dispensation so far, we shouldn’t be surprised to see that there were imperfections and blind spots among our predecessors, even among the greatest of them, any more than we should be surprised to find them in ourselves. They, like us, were learning line upon line, and could only be taught as much as they were prepared to ask. In response to their questions about how the Church should be established, many really hard things were required of them, and I am constantly inspired by the bravery and faith with which they responded. But I know that as great as they were, they didn’t respond perfectly. They didn’t understand perfectly. No one from Joseph Smith until now has attained perfection or managed to live the fullness of the Gospel without taint from the philosophies of their time, their own weaknesses, and their own intentional or unintentional biases. And I feel to say, thank goodness. Thank goodness that kind of perfection isn’t expected of me and of you in this life, and thank goodness that the Lord is able to bring about His work in spite of what poor agents we can be on His errands. As Elder Holland famously said, Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we.

Elder Holland also said:

Brothers and sisters, this is a divine work in process, with the manifestations and blessings of it abounding in every direction, so please don’t hyperventilate if from time to time issues arise that need to be examined, understood, and resolved. They do and they will. In this Church, what we know will always trump what we do not know. And remember, in this world, everyone is to walk by faith.

…

And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work. As one gifted writer has suggested, when the infinite fulness is poured forth, it is not the oil’s fault if there is some loss because finite vessels can’t quite contain it all. Those finite vessels include you and me, so be patient and kind and forgiving.

I love the way that Clayton Christensen described the process of modern revelation in his book The Power of Everyday Missinoaries:

Revelation is a lot like a detective movie. The protagonist (the prophet) starts out with limited understanding of a complicated problem. As he asks question after question, the truth becomes clearer, but not without dead ends and wrong hypotheses based on limited information along the way. 

These movies end with the message on the screen, To be continued . . . (as in, “. . . we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God,” stated in our ninth Article of Faith). There are many of these ‘movies’ in the process of revelation. The ‘stars’ of these other movies include Moses, Peter, Thomas, Joseph Smith, and others—prophets whose understanding of God came from iterating processes of questions, answers, and teaching; questions, answers, and teaching.

Perspective matters a lot. From God’s perspective, the doctrine of Christ is complete and unchangeable. Some current or former members of our church pray that our prophets will change our doctrines or policies to conform to emerging societal norms. God does not invent the rules and doctrines on the fly to keep pace with society, however. From God’s perspective, doctrine is unchangeable. But from our perspective, we must always expect that the doctrine that we understand will always evolve and improve. We should expect that the Prophet might change things, on occasion. But we must also believe that we, as members, might be wrong too—and we might need to be willing to change our position on a policy or belief as we learn more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We simply must pray that we might ask the right questions, questions that will lead to our knowing more of what God knows.

I suppose what I have taken from all of this is summed up in that last sentence. I hope that we will seek and pray to ask the right questions. To ask the questions that will lead us to repent. To ask the questions that will stretch us and lead us to grow. To ask the questions that will help us to increase in understanding line upon line, precept upon precept, and to be patient in that process. I know that Christ lives and that we are part of His latter-day work. I know that Joseph Smith was called to be a prophet of God, to restore the Gospel fulness and to launch this ongoing dispensation of light and knowledge that we get to be a part of. That doesn’t mean that we or our leaders are necessarily more perfect than anyone else, but it does mean that we have covenanted to be on His side. As my primary class discussed a few weeks back, we are free agents, but through covenant we have committed to be on the Lord’s team, to act on His behalf, and to keep trying when we fall short. As we do so I know that He is anxious to give us knowledge and blessings according as we are prepared to receive them.

President Nelson has recently taught: “These are exciting days. The Lord is hastening His work right before our eyes. It is thrilling. It is rigorous. More is required from each of us—more than ever before. And more is being given. … My dear brothers and sisters, the ‘veil o’er the earth is continuing to burst, and one of the deep desires of my heart is for you to receive all that the Lord is ready to reveal to you.”

That this desire sinks deep into my heart and yours is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Shame, Guilt, and Gospel

I went through a Brene Brown kick a while back where I listened to several of her audiobooks in a row. (I tend to do that with different authors.) She has so much good insight into the destructive power of shame in our lives and the gifts of vulnerability and refusing to hide when shame tells us to.

A key distinction that she and others in the psychotherapy world make is the difference between shame and guilt. Shame tells us that we are inherently flawed, and unworthy, and that we should shrink, hide, or disappear. It makes our sins and mistakes mean that we are not enough. Guilt, on the other hand, is a signal that our actions are out of alignment with who we are and our values, and that something needs to change. Guilt, essentially, leads to self-knowledge that we can use to repent. I would posit that guilt can be the godly sorrow mentioned in the scriptures, but shame cannot.

As I was reading the account of Lehi's vision this time around, I got stuck on the phrase, "And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed." (1 Nephi 8:25) It seems crazy that just after partaking of this most joyful fruit, the people could be shamed by the bullies in the great and spacious building. "And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost." (v. 28) It made me wonder in what ways shame might be hindering my progress in the Gospel.

One way that I know I have dropped the fruit, so to speak, is in my failure to share the Gospel with others. Last week I read the book The Power of Everyday Missionaries by Clay Christiansen, and it really laid out how the world convinces most of us in the Church that we can't and shouldn't share the Gospel all the time. And even knowing this, I am not sure I can open my mouth and say what I know I should. It seems so risky for some reason even though the only thing I have to lose is possibly the good opinion of others. That comes from shame--feeling like I need to hide who I am or reveal the Gospel only to those I know are interested. I plan to really pray and work on this because I realized just how much I am missing by not obeying that commandment and partaking of that fruit.

I looked for other references to shame in the Book of Mormon, and noticed this pattern: shame teaches us to hide, and the Lord says that the wicked will be ashamed in the presence of God. The righteous are instructed to put shame off and refuse to hide.

• Jacob 2:6, 6:9; Alma 12:15 - Wickedness will lead to feeling shame in the presence of God. The wicked will wish they could hide from Him because of their knowledge of their sins.
• 2 Nephi 7:5/Isaiah 50:6 - "I hid not my face from shame and spitting." The Lord was temped with shame just as we are, but he refused to hide. We follow Him when we stay in the light and refuse to hide, whether it be hiding what we know and avoiding the world's scorn or hiding our own sins from the Lord and from the world.
• 2 Nephi 9:18 - Saints who "despise the shame of [the world] shall inherit the Kingdom.
• Jacob 1:8 - men should bear the shame of the world, suffering Christ's cross. In this case, I don't think bear means to internalize it or accept it; I think it means not to hide from it or to turn inward because of it. To shake it off and keep living the Gospel out loud.
• 3 Nephi 22:4 - we shouldn't be confounded, "for thou shalt not be put to shame, shalt forget the shame of thy youth."

My conclusion was this: If we apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ to our lives, we should shed shame. The world will try to shame us, but discipleship requires us to disregard that shame. It requires us to be vulnerable in both our public and private life, and willing to lay bare our true selves. That means refusing to hide who we are and refusing to hide from our sins.

Satan will try to convince us when we fail that we are inherently incapable of change and of success, so we shouldn't try; we can't change so the only way forward is to shrink of God's presence, to hide our sins and weaknesses or to justify them in comparison and judgment of others around us. At its core this concept is really very typical of Lucifer, who has always attacked the agency of man. If we are inherently incapable of obedience, then we do not have the agency to choose it. This is not of God, and is a lie. Because of Christ's Atonement, we can choose to change and be made whole in Him, regardless of how many times we fail, as long as we are willing to admit our sins, turn to Him, and just keep trying.

So I'll keep trying to put off shame and to put on the armor of God--to choose to lay bare my sins before Him daily and to trust that He can make me more than I am. I'll choose to live and speak the Gospel more boldly and to be the same person at home, work, and play that I am in church. And when I fall short, that will be okay too.