Arnot on the Seed in the Thorny Ground

The earthly affections in the heart which render religion unfruitful in the life are enumerated under two heads,—“The care of this world,” and “the deceitfulness of riches;” the term riches includes also, as we may gather from Luke’s narrative, the pleasures which riches procure. Both from our own experience in the world and the specific terms employed by the Lord in the interpretation of the parable, we learn that all classes and all ranks are on this side exposed to danger. This is not a rich man’s business, or a poor man’s; it is every man’s business. The words point to the two extremes of worldly condition, and include all that lies between them. “The care of the world” becomes the snare of those who have little, and “the deceitfulness of riches,” the snare of those who have much. Thus the world wars against the soul, alike when it smiles and when it frowns. Rich and poor have in this matter no room and no right to cast stones at each other. Pinching want and luxurious profusion are, indeed, two widely diverse species of thorns; but when favoured by circumstances they are equally rank in their growth and equally effective in destroying the precious seed.

...

 It was where the seed and the thorns grew together that the mischief was done. If the grain is permitted to occupy alone the heart of the field, the thorns that grow outside and around it may constitute a hedge of defence, not only harmless but useful. There is a place for cares, and for riches too,—a place in which they help and do not hinder the kingdom of God. Kept in its own sphere, the lawful business of life becomes a protecting fence round the tender plant of grace in a Christian’s heart. Permit not the thorns to occupy the position which is due to the good seed. Not as rivals within the field, but as guards around it, earthly affairs are innocent and safe. “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

-William Arnot, The Parables of Our Lord.

Frankl on Freedom

From Man's Search for Meaning, p. 132

Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.

Battlefield of the Heart

From Life of Pi by Yann Martel, p. 93:

The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart.

Training of Children

From Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe:

"Since training children is the staple work of the human race," said Augustine, "I should think it something of a consideration that our system does not work well there."

Filling our Homes with Light and Truth

Here is the talk I gave a couple of weeks ago in Sacrament Meeting. Of course, when I gave it it came out materially different than how it is written; some things were added, some changed, and some excluded altogether. But here is the written version (mostly for my own benefit).

[Here I have chosen to excerpt the banal introduction I gave of our family]

I was asked to choose a talk on marriage and family from the Women’s Session of April General Conference, and am going to base my comments on Sister Cheryl A. Esplin’s remarks, entitled, “Filling our Homes with Light and Truth.”

Having four little boys, this topic is always a concern for me to certain extent, but I feel it has been dwelling in my mind and heart more particularly as we have moved and settled into our first semi-permanent home and our older boys are getting to the age where they are figuring out what the Gospel means and how it applies to us. The duty to make my home a place of peace and refuge, safe even from my own temper and impatience, presses on upon me frequently. As the Savior said to Joseph Smith, I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth. (D&C 93:40)

The Soda Can

Sister Esplin spoke of an example that she had seen demonstrated at a meeting many years ago. The presenter showed two soda cans. One was empty, and the other was unopened and filled with soda. The presenter then squeezed each can. The empty can was, of course, easily crushed, while the full can was impervious to the presenter’s grip.

Satan’s Efforts

We all know that the world is full of influences that seek to destroy our spiritual foundations and capitalize on any weakness that may be found in our homes. Sister Esplin said this: Satan knows that in order for us and our families to withstand the pressures of the world, we must be filled with light and gospel truth. So he does everything in his power to dilute, distort, and destroy the truth of the gospel and to keep us separated from that truth.

Satan has a remarkable ability to deceive, confuse, and imitate truth, and as a result we live among conditions long foretold where many put evil for good and good for evil (Isaiah 5:20). It can be a confusing place for anyone, no matter our age or experience. But if our goal is for our homes to be filled with light, you can see really how dangerous it is to confuse light and darkness. In order to combat Satan’s efforts, we must have a keen sense of spiritual discernment. This requires us to be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost through our obedience and loyalty to the Savior, His Gospel, and His chosen servants.

I am going to share one area where Satan is placing particular emphasis in our day: the doctrine of the family.  In another talk from the Women’s Session, Sister Oscarson counseled us to be defenders of the Family Proclamation, particularly of marriage, of the roles of mothers and fathers, and of the sanctity of the home.

Because the family is a topic close to our hearts, bringing much joy in many cases and unfortunately bringing much pain in others, it can be a sensitive one to talk about. Satan is quick to turn that sensitivity into offense, defensiveness, confusion, and contention. These reactions can quickly drive the Spirit out of a discussion or prevent us from receiving counsel in the spirit in which it is intended. In order to stand up as defenders of the truth, we need to know it, to understand it in its varied nuances and applications, and to receive the confirmation of the Holy Ghost so that we can testify of it with purity and power.

Each of us has a different set of experiences, blessings, trials, and gifts that will enable us to understand and defend the family and other gospel truths in special and unique ways. By utilizing this storehouse of all of our collective contributions, the Lord can combat Satan’s forces and gather His sheep from out of the world according to the needs of each individual or circumstance. That requires all of us to develop our own testimonies and refine our gifts in order to be able to be a part of that force on the Lord’s side.

Sister Esplin put it this way: Many of us have been baptized and have received the gift of the Holy Ghost, whose role it is to reveal and teach the truth of all things. With the privilege of that gift comes the responsibility to seek truth, to live the truth we know, and to share and defend the truth.

This idea of having a responsibility to seek, live, and defend truth was really impressed upon me one day in my constitutional law class during my first year of law school. We were speaking about the constitutional implications of California’s Proposition 8, which amended the California Constitution to specify the definition of marriage as between one man and one woman, and which was on the ballot at the time. As law professors are wont to do, he asked us for our analysis, and then challenged our responses (which is a nice way of saying that he summarily shot down most everything we said; at the time it seemed to me that this was the main job of law professors). Then he said something that has stuck with me ever since, and that was that we as law students and members of the Church need to be able to articulate our opinions and beliefs to the world in the terms that they understand. In our case, those terms were the terms of the law, and if I was going to say that the definition of marriage should remain between one man and one woman, I needed to be able to give a cogent constitutional analysis and be able to dig up the jurisprudence to support my opinion. The Lord needs people who can articulate His position and stand for it in every type of venue, and if I was receiving the gift of a legal education, I needed to put in the time and effort to consecrate that gift for the defense of truth in my sphere.

It certainly is not just lawyers who the Lord needs to use our gifts and experiences to stand up and defend the home and family; it is all of us. As I have mentioned, my husband John, for example, has a very different educational background from me. Last year during a clinical rotation in psychiatry, John commented to me that without fail, every patient that he saw with severe ongoing problems had some sort of family trauma or abuse in their past. He was reminded how important strong, righteous families are and how much damage can be done when parents don’t provide that for their children. His experiences will enable him to defend Gospel truths regarding the family in a much different way than I can. We can each fill our lives with light and truth by standing up to defend our homes and families through righteous living and by consecrating our talents and experiences to the Lord’s work.

Filling with Lesser Things

Another way that Satan seeks to distract us is by having us fill up our lives with things of lesser value, so that there is less room for light and truth in our lives and homes. Having little children at home has given me a lot of new perspective on what kind of media I want in my home and for myself personally. Whenever my kids are awake, if the TV is on it is usually a children’s show, and when they are asleep, I am usually too tired to watch anything geared toward adults. This has led to a kind of default media purge on my part, and I found that when I do see grown-up TV shows and commercials now, I am much more sensitive to the images, the messages, the innuendo, and the influences that I don’t want my children to see. And I began to think, if I don’t want my children to see this, does my Father want me to see it? Is it worthy of my time and attention?

When considering any media in our home, I think we could do well to ask ourselves these questions: (1) Is this something that would offend the Savior if He were watching with me? Would I feel the need to skip parts or change the channel? Would I find myself trying to justify or explain my viewing choice because of the images or language included? (2) What messages are being communicated to my family in this show? Pretty much any show, whether it be a drama, a comedy, or a documentary, has some kind of message. Some of the more dangerous messages are communicated to us without our recognizing them because they are weaved into a funny story or we say, “It’s just entertainment.” How are the women being treated and portrayed in the media we consume? How about the men? What are the attitudes about marriage and family? Is there irreverence toward God or others? (3) Do I feel uplifted and closer to my Savior after participating in this media, or do I feel farther away? Does the media I consume meet the standard set in the 13^th Article of Faith; is it virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy (and not just for its comic appeal or special effects)?

The same could go for the music we listen to, the books we read, the art we view, and anything with which we fill our time and our homes. If we want to be filled with light and truth, we need to make room for it and not crowd it out with things of lesser value.

How to Fill Up

Now that we have opened up some space for more light and truth to enter, so to speak, how do we keep that space properly filled? Sister Esplin continued: When filled with the Spirit and with gospel truth, we have the power to withstand the outside forces of the world that surround and push against us. However, if we are not filled spiritually, we don’t have the inner strength to resist the outside pressures and can collapse when forces push against us.

If our homes are to be impervious to the attacks of the world, we need to consistently work to fill them with light and truth. And most of us know the “Primary answers” that teach us the basic things we need to do each day to fill ourselves up. For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. (D&C 84:45) As Sister Esplin said, We are continually counseled to increase our spiritual knowledge through prayer and through studying and pondering the scriptures and the words of the living prophets. 

Shortly after we had our first little boy Ethan, I recall thinking how the number of prayers and scripture study sessions in my life had multiplied in a few short years. When I was single, I worried only about my own personal scripture study and prayers. When John and I got married, I continued my own and we also tried to make it a priority to read and pray together daily. After Ethan was born he joined in on our routine, but then once he was big enough to understand a little, it was necessary to add a third separate family scripture study and prayer to the mix. At one point when I found myself short on patience or frustrated or down at home, I recall thinking how wise it was that the Lord had instructed us to have all of that study and prayer as we became parents, not just so that our children would learn, but because I needed so badly to be guided and taught constantly if I wanted to raise my children in light and truth.

I love this statement from Sister Esplin: Strong eternal families and Spirit-filled homes do not just happen. They take great effort, they take time, and they take each member of the family doing his or her part. Every home is different, but every home where even one individual seeks for truth can make a difference.

Consistent, Everyday Efforts

Having a home that is spiritually full means that every day we need to keep the counsel of prophets past and present, even when it seems that no one is listening or we can’t keep up or it isn’t making a difference. If we seek the Lord in prayer, He will consecrate our performance and our efforts to us, and that will make a great difference in what kind of foundation we and our children have to build on and how we will be able to withstand tests and trials in life.

This idea brings to mind an October 2009 talk by Elder David A. Bednar. He said, As our sons were growing up, our family did what you have done and what you now do. We had regular family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Now, I am sure what I am about to describe has never occurred in your home, but it did in ours.

Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as “He’s touching me!” “Make him stop looking at me!” “Mom, he’s breathing my air!” Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.

This seems like my life exactly! This last week, for example, I spent some extra time preparing something for Family Home Evening that I thought was fairly important for the boys. However, I ended up feeling like I spent most of the lesson trying to corral the boys and threatening to withhold the treat at the end if they didn’t sit down and listen. So I am particularly encouraged by what Elder Bednar shared next: 

Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. They likely would not identify a particular prayer or a specific instance of scripture study or an especially meaningful family home evening lesson as the defining moment in their spiritual development. What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent.

Sister Bednar and I thought helping our sons understand the content of a particular lesson or a specific scripture was the ultimate outcome. But such a result does not occur each time we study or pray or learn together. The consistency of our intent and work was perhaps the greatest lesson—a lesson we did not fully appreciate at the time.

Elder Bednar then likened our efforts at home to a painting composed of thousands of tiny brushstrokes:  Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33). Consistency is a key principle as we lay the foundation of a great work in our individual lives and as we become more diligent and concerned in our own homes.

I know that as we consistently strive to seek after the Lord and to invite His Spirit into our homes through our everyday obedience, He will grant us the guidance we need to keep our homes safe and filled with light. As He said, Blessed are all they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled with the Holy Ghost. (Matthew 5:6, 3 Nephi 12:6) If we seek daily to feed our Spirits just as surely as we seek to appease our hunger and nourish our bodies, we will be filled with the light and truth we seek.

The Temple

In addition to consistent study, prayer, and gospel teaching, our attendance at the temple will help us to fill our homes with light and truth. What better way to see and feel what a light-filled home should be like than to attend the very House of the Lord? As the Psalmist said, O send out thy light and thy truth: let them lead me; let them bring me unto thy holy hill, and to thy tabernacles. (Psalm 43:3) The mountain of the Lord is the standard to which our homes should aspire. That isn’t to say that we should beat ourselves up about having imperfect homes; that is an inevitability of life. I recall reading an account in the Ensign a few years ago in which a sister told about a cleaning assignment at the temple. The supervising Brother told the volunteers that they were not there to clean things that were dirty, but to keep that sacred place from every becoming dirty; to keep it unspotted. (“Unspotted From the World,” July 2012) My first thought was, if my home is supposed to be like the temple, I am never going to manage that! What’s the point? And of course in that line of thought, I entirely missed the point.

Just as we aspire to build ideal families even though inevitably that isn’t possible for everyone, we can aspire to make our homes clean both temporally and spiritually so that the Spirit can dwell in them. Just because we can’t achieve an ideal doesn’t mean that its shining example is not of value! By definition an ideal is a state of perfection, an ultimate objective and not a working model. But day by day we work in our own homes, and the more we see and bring that reminder of the Lord’s sacred house and the eternal family formed therein, the better we can better shape our homes according to that image.

We talk of Christ

And my final and most basic point centers in the One who is the center of everything we do in the Church and in our homes, who Himself is the way, the truth, and the life¸and the Light of the World. Paul counseled the Ephesians to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. (Ephesians 3:19) Weekly we are reminded that if we always remember Christ, we may always have His spirit to be with us. Nephi said, And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. (2 Nephi 25:26) Christ Himself said, he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. (John 8:12)

If we want our homes to be filled with light and truth, we must make Him feel at home there through the things with which we fill our space, our time, and our hearts. If our hearts are set on Him and our priority is helping our family members come to know and follow Him, His spirit will fill our homes and make them safe havens from the pressures of the outside world.

I am so grateful for the peace and the assurance that comes from that promise, and particularly for what it means for my children. Despite my failings and imperfections, if I press on, seeking and defending truth, teaching it consistently, seeking it in the Lord’s house, and following Him who is its very definition, my children will know to what source they may look for light and truth, redemption and forgiveness.

I know that Christ lives. He loves us. He wants to bless and guide and comfort us. He is our advocate with the Father, which to me as an attorney means He is on our side, understanding our motives, looking for every possible argument in our favor, and seeking forgiveness and leniency for our sins and mistakes. If we make room for Him in our homes by loving Him and keeping His commandments, He will fill them with His presence, which is light and truth. As he said, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. (John 14:23)

"A Large Family of Small Children"

I am starting to understand where this sister is coming from...

https://www.lds.org/ensign/1986/03/a-large-family-of-small-children?lang=eng

Today as I headed into the doctor's office, a woman was waiting for me to get my boys out of my car so she could get into hers. The usual ensued: "Three boys! Wow! You must be busy! . . . Oh, and you're having another! Do you know what it is? . . . Another boy! Wow. . ."

That wow is too often accompanied by a look of pity, because obviously we only had more children on the off chance that we might get a girl instead of another boy, and now we had failed and were stuck with four boys. I wish I had the time and words to explain, "No, this is awesome! We are so excited and blessed to have four boys! Our life is great, even if it's crazy, and even if it's not anything like yours." I don't know exactly how many children we will have or when we will have them; The Lord doesn't tend to give me information about life decisions until they need to be made. But I feel with this one I have already crossed the threshold into what the world considers that land of "crazy" people who have too many kids. I hope I can be a really happy crazy person that teaches many children to be good, loving, Christlike people.

Book of Mormon Preparation

The Book of Mormon exposes the enemies of Christ. It confounds false doctrines that lays down contention. (See 2 Ne 3:12) It fortifies the humble followers of Christ against the evil designs, strategies, and doctrines of the devil in our day. The type of apostates in the Book of Mormon are similar to the type we have today. God, with his infinite foreknowledge, so molded the Book of Mormon that we might see the error and know how to combat false educational, political, religious, and philosophical concepts of our time.

-President Ezra Taft Bensen (then President of the Quorum of the Twelve), Conference Report, Apr. 1975, 94-95h

Hate the Sin

A while back someone who left the church in recent years made a comment on Facebook to this effect:  "I don't buy the idea of 'hating the sin but loving the sinner' because you can't meaningfully separate the person from the things they do and how they live their life." She said this mostly in reference to the church's position on gay marriage, but with broader application, and it sat in the back of my mind for a while until I got thinking about it the other night and made a note to ponder and write some thoughts.

First I wanted to see if there was scriptural verification for the phrase. I went through the Topical Guide under the heading "hate," and here are a few pertinent passages:

Ye that love the Lord, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.    Psalm 97:10

I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.     Psalm 101:3

These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.    Proverbs 6:16-19

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.     Proverbs 8:13

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.     Proverbs 10:12

He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.   Proverbs 13:24

He that saith he is in the light and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.    1 John 2:9-10

If you keep not my commandments, the love of the Father shall not continue with you, therefore you shall walk in darkness.     Doctrine and Covenants 95:12

Love worketh no ill to his neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.    Romans 13:10

A few things I noted as I studied:

There did indeed seem to be a distinction between "hating your brother," which was roundly decried, and "hating sin," which was wholly encouraged. This phrase seems to be borne of the ever-necessary attempt to do both.

I also got the feeling that the injunction to hate sin isn't so much a command to look for it in everyone else, but to hate it in ourselves, to cast it away from us so that it doesn't "cleave" to us, in the words of the Psalmist. This does require us to avoid society that would draw us in, but doesn't require us to seek to find it in everyone around us.

Love was spoken of as a cure-all, as we see in Proverbs 10:12 and 1 John 2:9-10, but that latter scripture was cross-referenced to Doctrine and Covenants 95:12, making clear that the kind of love that covers sins and keeps us in the light is charity, the pure love of Christ, and requires that we keep God's commandments if we want to possess it. It is more than just a happy feeling towards our neighbors, as Christ so poignantly showed in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

In that parable, we learn that love means helping and binding up the wounded and not walking by mute. Perhaps if the traveler didn't think that he was in need of help, he would have seen the Samaritan's actions as offensive or hateful, but the Samaritan saw a wound and strove to bind it, and his loving motivation wouldn't have been changed by the interpretation of it.

The thought that originally prompted me to study the topic was this: To me, hating the sin doesn't seem to mean only that I hate that a person does something wrong in my opinion. That is not what it is about. I hate sin because I love people. I hate that it separates them from the God that I know and love. I hate that it binds them and keeps the Spirit of truth and light at bay. I hate that it robs them of joy and of becoming the person God could make them into. I hate that it is a struggle that we have to go through. I hate that for some reasons, certain sins present especial trials for certain people. I hate that it breaks hearts and causes heartache. I hate it because I wish that all could see and feel the truth and light and joy that I've found, and sin stands as a barrier that must be overcome.

And finally, as we are all sinners, I think a simplification of the phrase clarifies my feeling towards it somewhat:

Hate sin; love everyone.

I think I will probably be studying more on this topic, since hate has become such a catchword these days.

No Gods Before Me

I gave a talk in church on Sunday on the first commandment. I wrote it in its entirety in a couple of hours on Saturday when I was sick and had some unpleasant things going on. It was very unlike my usual talk-writing process, and was really a gift. So for anyone interested (and for my own records), here it is.

I was asked to speak today on the first of the Ten Commandments, which says, “Thou shalt have no other Gods before me.” If I am not mistaken, someone spoke on this topic recently in Sacrament meeting, which is humbling both because I don’t want to bore you all, but more importantly because the frequency indicates the importance of the topic. And to the brother who gave the talk, I’m sorry I don’t remember who you are, but with three boys doing their best to ensure that I’m not paying attention, I call the fact that I remember anything at all a win.

Throughout the scriptures, the Lord has elaborated upon what it means to place no gods before Him. In the commandment immediately following this one, He says, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God.”

 In his October General Conference talk, Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained these commandments this way: “More than merely forbidding physical idols, this states a fundamental priority for all time… The meaning of jealous is revealing. Its Hebrew origin means “possessing sensitive and deep feelings”. Thus we offend God when we “serve” other gods—when we have other first priorities.”

The Old Testament Student Manual says this about God’s proclaimed jealousy as to our priorities:

"At first some may think that this demand for exclusive worship and devotion by God for Himself sounds selfish. But two things should be remembered. First, as Lord and Creator of all the universe, and as one who has all power, knowledge, and glory, God does not need man’s adoration and worship to add to His state of being. So, His jealousy is not a protective concern for His own status.

"The second thing to remember is that the Lord taught Moses that God’s work is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man”. Anytime His children set anything before God in importance, they begin to thwart His work for them. He is the only source of power and knowledge sufficient to save. To set anything above Him lessens their ability to draw on that power and knowledge for their salvation. That is why He says to His children, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me”.

"One Bible scholar put it this way: “This commandment prohibits every species of mental idolatry, and all inordinate attachment to earthly and sensible things [things which appeal to the senses]. … God is the fountain of happiness, and no intelligent creature can be happy but through him. … The very first commandment of the whole series is divinely calculated to prevent man’s misery and promote his happiness, by taking him off from all false dependence, and leading him to God himself, the fountain of all good.” (Clarke, Bible Commentary, 1:402–3.)"

King Benjamin’s teachings in the Book of Mormon add to our understanding that God asks for our loyalty and obedience for our benefit rather than his: “I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another— I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

 “And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

“ And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him.

 “And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?”

In short, the things that God demands of us benefit him only in that His work is furthered because His work is blessing and saving us. Seeing as tax season is upon us, I’ll put it this way: Act for act, we will never give Him a net gain on His loving investment in us. But as we put Him first in our lives, we will feel His love and concern for us and come to know Him, the only true God, which Christ said “is life eternal.” (John 17:3)

In the New Testament when Christ himself was asked about the great commandment in the law, “Jesus said…, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.”

Putting God first in our lives isn’t about blind obedience or demanding rules; it is about loving God, “because He first loved us.” It is about allowing that love to penetrate everything that we do so that through our faith and diligence “all things shall come together for [our] good.” (D&C 90:24)

In his April 1988 General Conference address, President Ezra Taft Benson expounded on how we are to do this: “To love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is all-consuming and all-encompassing. It is no lukewarm endeavor. It is total commitment of our very being—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—to a love of the Lord.

“The breadth, depth, and height of this love of God extend into every facet of one’s life. Our desires, be they spiritual or temporal, should be rooted in a love of the Lord. Our thoughts and affections should be centered on the Lord. “Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord,” said Alma, “yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever” (Alma 37:36).

“Why did God put the first commandment first? Because He knew that if we truly loved Him we would want to keep all of His other commandments. “For this is the love of God,” says John, “that we keep his commandments” (1 Jn. 5:3; see also 2 Jn. 1:6).

“We must put God in the forefront of everything else in our lives. He must come first, just as He declares in the first of His Ten Commandments: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Ex. 20:3).

“When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.

“We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives.”

This can be a hard task in our day and age, when society at large seems bent on either disregarding God and mocking all those who would follow His commandments, or defining God in ways that please themselves and others. Some grasp at principles they like, such as freedom and love, to the exclusion of other truths which would govern and bring meaning to them, such as obedience and chastity.

As the Lord himself said in His introduction to the Doctrine and covenants, “They seek not the Lord to establish his righteousness, but every man walketh in his own way, and after the image of his own God, whose image is in the likeness of the world, and whose substance is that of an idol, which waxeth old and shall perish in Babylon, even Babylon the great, which shall fall.”

So when we seek to define God according to our own design, or to fit Him into what our society or culture sees as “politically correct” instead of seeking to know and follow Him, we are creating our own image to worship instead of putting Him first.

In a 1978 address at BYU, Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke prophetically of this problem and how we must confront it: “Your discipleship may see the time come when religious convictions are heavily discounted… This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain of people’s opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions. Resistance to abortion will soon be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened.”

He continued, “It may well be, as our time comes to ‘suffer shame for his name’ (Acts 5:41), that some of this special stress will grow out of that portion of discipleship which involves citizenship. Remember that, as Nephi and Jacob said, we must learn to endure ‘the crosses of the world’ (2 Nephi 9:18) and yet to despise ‘the shame of [it]’ (Jacob 1:8). To go on clinging to the iron rod in spite of the mockery and scorn that flow at us from the multitudes in that great and spacious building seen by Father Lehi, which is the ‘pride of the world,’ is to disregard the shame of the world.”

38 years later, Elder Oaks echoed the same sentiments and confirmed Elder Maxwell’s foresight, which all of us have seen play out around us. He said, “Our twelfth article of faith states our belief in being subject to civil authority and “in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.” But man’s laws cannot make moral what God has declared immoral. Commitment to our highest priority—to love and serve God—requires that we look to His law for our standard of behavior. For example, we remain under divine command not to commit adultery or fornication even when those acts are no longer crimes under the laws of the states or countries where we reside. Similarly, laws legalizing so-called “same-sex marriage” do not change God’s law of marriage or His commandments and our standards concerning it. We remain under covenant to love God and keep His commandments and to refrain from serving other gods and priorities—even those becoming popular in our particular time and place.

“In this determination we may be misunderstood, and we may incur accusations of bigotry, suffer discrimination, or have to withstand invasions of our free exercise of religion. If so, I think we should remember our first priority—to serve God—and, like our pioneer predecessors, push our personal handcarts forward with the same fortitude they exhibited.”

As we stand up for what we believe, whether it be in public discourse or in simply living Godly principles, we will inevitably be called out as a strange and peculiar people, and many will seek to tear down our faith. But putting God first means trusting that His way will guide us to live “after the manner of happiness,” as Nephi called it. At some point this will require hard things from each of us. It will require us to change our habits and attitudes and to humble ourselves or to be humbled. It will require us to withstand derision as we cling to unpopular principles. It will require us to endure physical, mental, or emotional pain for ourselves or loved ones in faith. It will change the way we view ourselves, our families, our activities, and our affiliations. It will cause us to reevaluate our treatment of sacred things such as our homes, church and temple attendance and participation, and the Sabbath day. It will call us to take on responsibilities of varying shapes and sizes and to sustain others in their responsibilities even when we may have differing opinions. It will require our loyalty to God’s servants, who, as imperfect men, are nevertheless called to carry out divine purposes. Elder Maxwell  called this one “a hard doctrine, but … a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked,” because, as he continued, “not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ.”

This isn’t to say that we can’t ask honest questions; they are an essential part of building faith. It does require that we ask those questions “with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ,” and a “desire to believe.” Then the Spirit can teach without acrimony the hard truths we sometimes struggle to discern. If, on the other hand, our desire is to fit in with what the world deems acceptable and we disregard his commandments, we run the risk of becoming “past feeling” as Nephi said.

Putting God first also does not require that we shun outsiders or put down others’ opinions. We can praise all that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy in society, but we must also stand true to God when asked to take the false with the true. The key is discernment through the Holy Ghost, which we can only access through our personal worthiness and by keeping the covenant to “Always remember [Jesus Christ].”

This week I read the book Unbroken, which is the story of Louie Zamperini, an Olympic runner who was in a plane crash in World War II, survived on a raft drifting across the Pacific for 47 days only to be captured by the Japanese and subjected to labor, starvation, and dehumanizing abuse, especially by one particular captor known as “The Bird.” When he finally returned home, he suffered from flashbacks and his dreams were haunted by The Bird. He turned to drinking, and resolved in his mind that the only way to free himself would be to exact revenge by returning to Japan and killing The Bird himself. His life spiraled out of control, and he was “past feeling” in many ways. Finally, his wife convinced him to go to two Billy Graham sermons. In the first he couldn’t bear to stay because he felt so attacked and confronted by the calls for repentance and forgiveness. In the second he was about to storm out again when a flashback of another kind came upon him; he remembered the times that he prayed on the raft, saying that if God would just spare his life that he would serve God forever. He seemed to feel rain on his head as he stood there in the sermon. Twice such prayers on the raft had led to life-sustaining rain, and other times they had been able to catch food. He remembered the peaceful beauty that he had seen and felt as they passed through the doldrums, and the confirmation that those things were granted him as gifts from God to sustain him. Suddenly the fear and hate left him and he was filled with love for and from God. From that moment he was able to make the changes he so desperately needed in his life, to let go of his bitterness and to forgive. His nightmares ceased. He spent the rest of his life sharing his message and helping troubled kids to change their lives. By letting go of his god of revenge, he was able to put the God of love first and to be healed.

On a more personal note, I am often reminded that my priorities need adjusting if God is to be first in my life. Just this week I read a couple of articles that friends had posted online questioning certain opinions and practices taught by the Brethren. I thought about how subtly truths can be twisted and construed, “to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.” (Mark 13:22) And then I had a somewhat chastising thought: How much time do I spend studying the scriptures and the words of the prophets compared to the time I spend reading things online and elsewhere? How much of my study is spent finding out what the world thinks, and how much spent finding out what my Father thinks? How much of my daily effort is spent coming to know and love Him? Suddenly it became clear to me how easily I could confuse my priorities and lose the spiritual discernment needed to wade through all of the half-truths that society teaches.

Another example comes up frequently in my current stage of life. Going out and about with three energetic boys seems to elicit the same comment from almost everyone I see: “You have your hands full!” My answer is generally, “Yes, I do!” which I try to follow with some expression of how blessed I am to have to have full hands. Depending on my boys’ behavior, this can be easier to do some times than others. Often amid seemingly innocuous comments I get the sense that my having three kids isn’t necessarily a good thing, and the fact that I might want more seems completely preposterous to many. Sometimes I have felt self-conscious about wanting a big family and staying home with my kids, or that we won’t be sending our kids to the best schools and extracurricular activities. In high school when I said that I want to stay home with my children, more than one teacher made comments akin to, “What a waste!” As I heard one comedian say, “Big families are like waterbed stores; they used to be everywhere, but now they are just weird.” But when I seek out the Spirit I am reminded that by following God’s commandments to have children and to put my family first, I am investing myself and my time in the things that are 

eternally important and that will, in the end, bring the most happiness to myself and others as I serve God instead of the opinions and ways of the world.

In his April 1996 Conference talk, Russell M. Nelson likened putting God first to a military drill: an officer would call out, attention! Right face! Left face! Or About face! And all those in the drill would act instantly. In testing our allegiance to the commandment to put God first, Elder Nelson suggested that we ask ourselves, “Which way do I face?” In 3 Nephi, when the voice of God came to the surviving Nephites and Lamanites introducing His son, at first the people didn’t understand the voice. They “cast their eyes round about,” presumably to the people around them, trying to figure out what the voice was and where it came from. Finally, the third time, “they did hear the voice, and did open their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came. And behold, the third time they did understand the voice which they heard.”

I would invite each of us to evaluate where we are facing and whether we are enabling ourselves to hear and receive the loving counsel of our Heavenly Father. I testify that as we seek Him first and follow His commandments in all things that we will be blessed and prospered in all things, and come to know His love, which can fill our lives and make us whole. In doing so, we “may become the sons [and daughters] of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.” (Moroni 7:48)

In spite of earth.

In one of Elder Haight's discourses, I read this quote by Brigham Young, which he made when he dedicated the cornerstone of the Salt Lake Temple, and which has been widely quoted:

Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the House of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, . . . and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell.

I think that most of the time in which I have read or heard this quote, the last six words were omitted: in spite of earth and hell. I thought about them and why they were there.

The most direct correlation is that Earth and hell represent the two things that keep us from exaltation, save for the Atonement: mortality, or physical death, and sin, or spiritual death. So through the ordinances we make the Atonement effective in our lives, enabling us to enter into exaltation.

But I also thought of these on a practical, everyday level. What are the things that keep us from the temple, from spiritual progress, from living an exalted, celestial life? Of course there is hell--the forces and influences of Satan that surround us, tempting us to break covenants and stray from the path. That is real, and the endowment gives us real power to combat those influences.

But then there is also earth. This beautiful, messy life that brings obstacles no matter how much or little we sin. There are the weaknesses, illnesses, inabilities and disabilities of our bodies. There is the sadness and loneliness of losing others to death. There are the choices of billions of other individuals that weave a complex tapestry of circumstances, both good and bad, which become a part of our reality whether we like it or not. There are forces of nature--the earth itself--that can cause destruction and pain. But in spite of all that, the temple stands as a firm and unmoving symbol, pointing heavenward to our firm and unmoving Savior: He who has overcome the world, and whose grace is sufficient for us to do the same so that we may be exalted as He is.

Defined by Motherhood.

As I was procrastinating my nightly chores (a bad habit, I know), I decided I would finally watch the new training on Strengthening the Family and the Church through the Priesthood. I noticed how almost all of the discussion in which the sisters were involved were centered on motherhood. I thought about how a lot of people might take offense at this, and how quick we are in general to take offense at things that conflict with our personal views instead of listening to the Spirit. I thought of how society tells women that in order to be successful, we need to define ourselves outside of motherhood and even womanhood. What a shame that we have come to the point that the title of "mother" isn't valued as an identity. I am confident that when I reach the end of my mortal life, what will define me most is what I have done with the title of Mother.

Elder Holland on Avoiding Temptation

Whether we be single or married, young or old, let’s talk for a moment about how to guard against temptation in whatever form it may present itself. We may not be able to cure all of society’s ills today, but let’s speak of what some personal actions can be.

• • 
  Above all, start by separating yourself from people, materials, and circumstances that will harm you. As those battling something like alcoholism know, the pull of proximity can be fatal. So too in moral matters. Like Joseph in the presence of Potiphar’s wife, ⁴ just run—run as far away as you can get from whatever or whoever it is that beguiles you. And please, when fleeing the scene of temptation, do not leave a forwarding address.
• • 
  Acknowledge that people bound by the chains of true addictions often need more help than self-help, and that may include you. Seek that help and welcome it. Talk to your bishop. Follow his counsel. Ask for a priesthood blessing. Use the Church’s Family Services offerings or seek other suitable professional help. Pray without ceasing. Ask for angels to help you.
• • 
  Along with filters on computers and a lock on affections, remember that the only real control in life is self-control. Exercise more control over even the marginal moments that confront you. If a TV show is indecent, turn it off. If a movie is crude, walk out. If an improper relationship is developing, sever it. Many of these influences, at least initially, may not technically be evil, but they can blunt our judgment, dull our spirituality, and lead to something that could be evil. An old proverb says that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, ⁵so watch your step.
• • 
  Like thieves in the night, unwelcome thoughts can and do seek entrance to our minds. But we don’t have to throw open the door, serve them tea and crumpets, and then tell them where the silverware is kept! (You shouldn’t be serving tea anyway.) Throw the rascals out! Replace lewd thoughts with hopeful images and joyful memories; picture the faces of those who love you and would be shattered if you let them down. More than one man has been saved from sin or stupidity by remembering the face of his mother, his wife, or his child waiting somewhere for him at home. Whatever thoughts you have, make sure they are welcome in your heart by invitation only. As an ancient poet once said, let will be your reason. ⁶
• • 
  Cultivate and be where the Spirit of the Lord is. Make sure that includes your own home or apartment, dictating the kind of art, music, and literature you keep there. If you are endowed, go to the temple as often as your circumstances allow. Remember that the temple arms you “with [God’s] power, … [puts His] glory … round about [you], and [gives His] angels … charge over [you].” ⁷ And when you leave the temple, remember the symbols you take with you, never to be set aside or forgotten.

Jeffrey R. Holland, "Place No More for the Enemy of my Soul," CR April 2010.

Standards and Literature

Worthy literature has been on my mind a lot lately. In trying to find something to read, I started reading a book that turned out to be less than appropriate (not the first time this has happened). Thankfully, before I got very far into the book a couple of wonderful friends tipped me off that there was some content I may want to avoid, and so I moved on to something else. In the interest of time, I am going to paste what I wrote in an email to my friend Ruth about it:

To be honest, I was having a hard time getting into the book; something about the language, though I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe all characters just seem flat after Tolstoy's never-ending descriptions, or maybe (probably) it was just the Spirit telling me not to get too attached to the book =). I should learn my lesson; the last time I grabbed a book from Costco I thought was interesting, I ended up reading one chapter and then returning it.... why is this considered okay, even artistic? I am so wary of anything written in the last few decades because it almost seems like a rite of passage for authors to delve into sexual things, like it's more "honest" the more detail they provide. Ugh!

I remember right after high school I read Les Miserables, and though I've forgotten a lot, something that stuck with me is that when Cosette and Marius are married, he sees them off into the bridal chamber, then says that some things/places are too sacred to follow (granted, this is my paraphrase without having looked at it for over a decade). I loved that because it highlighted that, even in literature, people's intimate lives can be private not because they are secret but because they are beautiful and worth protecting. It made me a little sad to see the musical and see what they had done with the parts about prostitution (not tawdry in the book like in the play!) and at the Thernadiers' place.

I realize that my taste in literature is probably considered boring by a lot of people, but I have gotten to the point that I can't stand finishing a book without feeling like I got something out of it beyond pure entertainment. I don't need an adrenaline rush; I need to fill my brain with things I want to keep with me through all of eternity. So I am about to post lots of quotes on literature that I want to save and remember. To kick things off, here is a snippet from For the Strength of Youth:

Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting. He tries to mislead you into thinking that breaking God’s commandments is acceptable and has no negative consequences for you or others. Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit.

p.s. I do think it is a little bit sad/funny that they don't even mention books here, but I guess that is the generation that is coming up. I guess their mobile device could include a Kindle or Nook =).

Tolstoy on Morality and "Greatness"

From War and Peace, p. 1267-8, speaking in regards to how historians treat the retreat of Napoleon out of Russia (and his exploits in general):

When it is impossible to stretch the very elastic thread of historical ratiocination any farther, when an action flagrantly contradicts all that humanity calls good and even right, the historians fetch out the saving idea of 'greatness'. 'Greatness' would appear to exclude all possibility of applying standards of right and wrong. For the 'great' man nothing is wrong; there is no atrocity for which a 'great' man can be blamed.

'C'est grand!' cry the historians, and that is enough. Goodness and evil have ceased to be: there is only 'grand' and not 'grand'. Grand is good, not-grand is bad. To be grand is according to them the necessary attribute of certain exceptional animals called by them 'heroes'. And Napoleon, taking himself off home wrapped in a warm fur cloak and abandoning to their fate not only his comrades but men who (in his belief) were there because he had brought them there, feels que c'est grand, and his soul is at ease.

'From the sublime' (he saw something sublime in himself) 'to the ridiculous there is only one step,' said he. And for fifty years the whole world has gone on repeating, 'Sublime! Grand! Napoleon le grand!'

Du sublime au ridicule il n'y a qu'un pas!

And it never enters anyone's head that to admit a greatness not commensurable with the standard of right and wrong is merely to admit one's own nothingness and immeasurable littleness.

For us who have hte standard of good and evil given us by Christ, nothing can claim to be outside the law. And there is no greatness where simplicity, goodness and truth are absent.

Evil Designs...in the hearts of conspiring men

Law school has a substantial writing requirement, meaning that every student must write at least one thirty-page paper supervised by a professor. I wrote my paper on morality and internet governance, overseen by a professor who has done a lot of research on internet governance, focusing on pornography and the internet. She has helped work on the Internet Community Ports Act among other legislation.

In any discussion of law and "morality," people get up in arms about being "controlled" by another person's morality. In many people's view, the burden should be on the individual consumer to avoid offensive or harmful content without any limits upon the producer or other consumers. So I thought that this quote from Revelations of the Restoration (p. 653) was particularly interesting, even though it is originally talking about the Word of Wisdom.

In today's world evil abounds. Greedy and conspiring men seek wealth and power, marketing prostitution, pornography, weapons, drugs, vulgar music, and entertainment offensive to the light of Christ. A prime target for their avarice will always be our children. The tobacco industry markets an addictive and killing poison, knowing it to be such. Profit is their only concern. We have found it necessary to pass numerous laws that protect consumers in the supermarket, yet all manner of destructive influences are available on the streets, in our schools, and even in our homes through television and internet. 

There is no form of wickedness that someone will not make available for a price. To give their evil designs some sense of respectability, they hide them behind weak phrases: "If it offends you, don't buy it." We in turn are expected to be so foolish as to suppose that if we don't buy that which is evil or offensive we will be spared its effects. The logic is threadbare. Our choice not to operate a smelter will not protect us against another man's choice to do so. We all breathe the same air; nonsmoking sections in a restaurant provide precious little protection to the non-smoker. Again, one man's choice not to use alcohol will hardly protect him from drunk drivers.

Gratefully, the spirit and direction of the revelations of the Restoration are such that not only are we warned against the designs of evil men, but a path of safety is marked so that we can--to the extent possible--protect ourselves from their destructive influence in our society.

I really am grateful for the revelations of the Restoration, including the continuing revelation through our current prophets. The traps seem to be growing more pervasive and insidious, but we know how to tread safely.

Look, Endure, Live.

"Behold, I am the law, and the light. Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live."
3 Nephi 15:9

The simplicity of this scripture struck me today in contrast with all of the sophistries being preached in society and the general sentiment that we can't know and so shouldn't take into account the things of God.

But this is the compass: we look to the Savior, follow his example, and seek His Spirit, enduring faithfully, and then we live--not just in the sense that we remain alive, but we live to the fulness of our potential, with purpose and meaning and joy and peace. We live "the abundant life," as President Monson and Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, among others, have called it.

On Beauty.

Love this:

http://diapersanddivinity.com/2012/01/23/the-beauty-paradox/