I have had plenty of lessons extolling Ammon as a missionary. And he was a great missionary. Most of those focused on how he was willing to serve, how he was brave, and how God protected him and gave him power. All important things, but today my studies reminded me how normal Ammon was. And sometimes I need that because I don't see myself in heroes, but I do see myself in people who are trying, and don't really know what they are doing, but make an awkward attempt anyway.
Let's recap Ammon's encounter with King Lamoni and see where I can relate.
Ammon arrives and is immediately arrested and brought before the king to see how he should be disposed of. The king asks if he desires to live among his people and Ammon says yes and reveals that he really doesn't know the long-term plan and may stay there forever for all he knows.
Moving forward even though I don't have my future figured out? Been there, done that, doing that.
The king is happy with this answer and offers Ammon his daughter for a wife. Ammon declines and asks to be a servant.
Attempt to tactfully dodge romantic advances that don't lead where I want to go? Did that a couple of times.
Avoid awkwardness by being excessively helpful? Yes and yes.
Next Ammon goes out to work with the king's servants. Bad guys come and scatter the flocks, the servants melt down because they don't want to get killed, and Ammon sees an opportunity to show his power and win them over.
Again with the excessive helpfulness. Right up my alley.
He helps them gather the sheep back together, but the bad guys are relentless and come back for more. Epic battle ensues in which Ammon kills six with his sling, then disarms his other attackers more literally than I like to imagine.
This is the part that is usually emphasized in this story, and with which I relate 0%. I would not be cutting off any arms unless the Spirit straight up took over my brain and my body. I am not wired for blood and guts and certainly not for cutting off anyone's arms.
They head back to the king's complex and the rest of the guys bring back the loose arms. They take them to show the king while Ammon goes on to the next task they were supposed to do.
Avoiding attention? Not wanting to brag when I accomplished something that clearly wasn't my own strength? Being traumatized for harming people when I was trying to do what's right? Not wanting to show my face until my jobs are done? Yuppers.
Ammon finishes getting the king's horses ready and then goes back to report. When he walks in he can see that the king is looking troubled. Perhaps Ammon recalls how easily the king could call for his execution; he did just kill six of the king's subjects and severely maim several more. He was about to turn tail and back right out of that room when one of the servant addresses him with a title of high honor and asks him to stay.
Wanting to cut and run when I think someone may be mad at me? Most definitely yes.
Ammon gets bold and asks the king what he can do for him. And then he waits FOR AN HOUR. He stands there awkwardly for an hour.
This may be the thing I can relate to most of all. The pressure is on, I feel like I need to say something or explain myself or connect, and nothing. No words, brain racing and frozen at the same time.
After an hour Ammon asks again with no response, and THEN he is filled with the Spirit, at which time he asks the very obvious question of whether the king is troubled because he had just singlehandedly and superhumanly defended the king's flocks and servants. He is like, "What's so impressive about that? I'm just a man." And in this kind of obvious answer the Spirit speaks through him to King Lamoni, helps the latter articulate the real questions he has, and stops his brain paralysis.
Fumbling through just opening my mouth to say what the Lord might want me to say, feeling like maybe that didn't make any sense at all because I am really nothing, but somehow the Spirit speaks through that mess anyway? Exactly how I feel whenever I teach.
Ammon tells the king that he wants to serve him, and "whatsoever thou desirest which is right, that will I do."
Bonding through service? My go-to. The only way I know how to make friends and relate to people. I just want to do things for them and make them feel comfortable with me.
Ammon proceeds to answer the king's questions on the condition that the king will believe what Ammon says.
Not wanting to put myself out there if the person will reject the sacred thing I have to share? Yes yes yes.
I could go on but this covers the bulk of it. Of course I don't really know all of Ammon's personality, and I don't mean at all to downplay what a brave and bold missionary he was, but it is such a comfort to me to imagine these very human people feeling their way along in the work of the Lord and trusting that He will come through even when they don't know how that will all work out. That is something I feel like I can do for the cause, even if I'll never raise a sword in defense of the cause. So maybe I can liken Ammon's story to me after all.
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