Preparing the Sacrament

I helped Ethan prepare this talk for Sacrament meeting today, and he did a wonderful job giving it and got many, many compliments both on his delivery and on the content. I hope I can remember these things that we learned together every week when I see those boys preparing the sacrament.

Ethan's Talk:

Hello Brothers and Sisters, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ethan Kenworthy. The topic I was given today was: “How our service in preparing the sacrament helps all of us cherish the gift of repentance and forgiveness by turning to Christ through this sacred ordinance”

A lot of times, preparing the sacrament is just something that is part of my Sunday routine. It’s my duty, and so I do it, and it doesn’t always feel like a big act of service. But receiving this topic gave me a good opportunity to really reflect on what it means for our ward when the teachers prepare the sacrament.

Doctrine and Covenants 59:9-10 says, “For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and pay thy devotions unto the most high.”

In his talk titled “Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament,” Elder Oaks said:

“This is a commandment with a promise. By participating weekly and appropriately in the ordinance of the sacrament we qualify for the promise that we will ‘always have his spirit to be with us.’ That Spirit is the foundation of our testimony. It testifies of the father and the son, brings all things unto our remembrance, and leads us into truth. This gift of the Holy Ghost, President Wilford Woodruff taught, ‘is the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon man.’”

President Oaks continues:

The ordinance of the sacrament makes the sacrament meeting the most sacred and important meeting in the Church. It is the only Sabbath meeting the entire family can attend together. Its content in addition to the sacrament should always be planned and presented to focus our attention on the Atonement and the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

 

That quote made me ask myself how preparing the sacrament each week could point all of us to the Savior. To start, the symbols of the sacrament and how we prepare them are all designed to remind us of Christ’s Atonement. 

The very first thing we do when we arrive is to wash our hands. We do this in order to be clean before we handle the sacrament. In a similar way, every one of us is supposed to come to the sacrament with “clean hands and a pure heart.” (Psalm 24:3-4) We are able to become clean from our sins when we repent, and then we can renew our baptismal covenant by taking the sacrament.

The next thing we do is to prepare the bread and water. We know that the bread symbolizes the body of Jesus Christ, which He sacrificed for us. The water symbolizes Jesus’ blood, which He shed for us in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. In a 2017 General Conference talk, Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, “The bread and water represent the flesh and blood of HIm who is the Bread of Life and the LIving Water, poignantly reminding us of the price He paid to redeem us. As the bread is broken, we remember the Savior’s torn flesh. As we drink the water, we think of the blood He shed in Gethsemane and on the cross and its sanctifying power.” 

During the sacrament, we pass the sacrament tray to each other down the rows. We serve each other when we pass the trays down the rows, and we all need each other as we partake of the sacrament. Jesus Christ set the example for us by serving everyone he could, like how we serve each other in this way. In the scriptures, we are told to obtain a remission of our sins we need to love, serve, and forgive each other.

We cover the trays with a cloth, which represents Jesus’ body, just as He was covered with a cloth in the tomb. It reminds us of how Jesus died for all of us so we could be forgiven of our sins. He was then resurrected and the cloth was removed, just like we take off the cloth during the sacrament. This reminds us of Jesus’ resurrection, and that we can also be born again and have new life through His atonement.

In short, every part of the sacrament is about Jesus Christ. He is the Son of God. He came here to pay for our sins. In order to do that He had to live a perfect life. In Elder Christofferon’s talk, he said: “As we partake of the sacramental bread and water each week, we would do well to consider how fully and completely we must incorporate His character and the pattern of His sinless life into our life and being. Jesus could not have atoned for the sins of others unless He Himself was sinless.” Taking the sacrament each week can give us power to overcome our sins and become more like Jesus Christ.

In Luke 22: 14-20, it says:

“And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him. And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer: For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God. And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it among yourselves:  … And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.”

This shows how Jesus Himself was the first one to institute the sacrament and told his disciples: “This do in remembrance of me.” So since the beginning of the sacrament the purpose was to help us remember and cherish Jesus Christ’s Atonement. When we prepare and partake of the sacrament every week, we are following his example. 

I’m thankful for the ability that we have to repent and renew our covenants every week with the sacrament. I know that the sacrament can help us feel closer to Jesus.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Hope, Politics, and the Last Days

 I read this article last night, "Can Religion be a Healing Force in Society?" by Peter Wehner, Senior Fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in DC, and it is just so, so good.

https://digitalcommons.law.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?filename=3&article=1069&context=clarkmemorandum&type=additional

It coincided with a lot of thoughts I have had in the last couple of years regarding hope, the Gospel, and how we interact with the world in politics and everyday life in these last days. In our current ward especially, there seems to be a lot of emphasis on how bad the world around us is, how everything is getting worse, and how we need to prepare for terrible things ahead. And I realize that wickedness is increasing in many ways and that many have lost a clear sense of morality, but I also feel that this focus centers us on half the picture. Why is wickedness increasing in the world? Because light is increasing! There is more light in the world now than there ever was previously! We have an ongoing Restoration where we are growing in light and knowledge and truth and will keep doing so until we come to the measure of the fulness of Christ and His coming. So much wickedness and evil and suffering has been defeated worldwide. In the US, prosperity has grown and so has agency as the horrible injustices and inequalities of the past have been confronted and steps taken to rectify them. 

I think that part of this focus problem is that we neglect the essential role of hope in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Hope means that we look forward to a better world, not hunker down and wait for a worse one. And when we hope for that world, we take action and work for it. I love that Wehner said:

"Followers of Jesus need to light candles instead of simply curse the darkness..." 

I have read that line a dozen times and it still bears repeating. I should embroider it and put it on my wall. I want to be a candle-lighter!

He then goes on to describe how we can use our faith to strengthen and heal society instead of condemning it or fighting over it. I won't restate the whole address but I highly recommend it.

Talk: Buscando el Perdon del Senor

I gave this talk in the Spanish group, and so wrote it in Spanish. With the wonders of Google Translate, I won't worry about creating an English version and will just leave this here with my other talks.

Hoy se me ha pedido hablar en cuanto al tema, “Buscando el perdón del Señor.” Inmediatamente me gustó este tema porque, mientras refiere a las cosas que necesitamos hacer para buscar el perdón, se enfoca más en el Señor y cómo Él otorga el perdón. Muchas veces en la iglesia hablamos del arrepentimiento cómo un proceso que nos gana el perdón y la salvación. Repasamos los pasos del arrepentimiento como una lista de verificación: 1. Reconocer que hemos pecado y confesarlo. Cheque. 2. Pedir perdón a dios. Cheque. 3. Pedir perdón a las personas a quienes hayamos lastimado. Cheque. 4. Hacer lo posible para reparar y sanar la herida. Cheque. La escritura que se me asignó hoy, que se encuentra el Doctrina y Convenios 58:42-43, también describe cómo arrepentirse:

He aquí. quien se ha arrepentido de sus pecados es perdonado; y yo, el señor, no los recuerdo más. 

Por esto podréis saber si un hombre se arrepiente de sus pecados: He aquí, los confesará y los abandonará.

Doctrina y Convenios 58:42-43

Esta escritura da un esquema similar de lo que mencioné antes de cómo arrepentirse: Hay que confesar el pecado y abandonar el pecado. Me parece sencillo, pero al tratar de hacerlo sola por mi misma, cada vez descubro que no lo puedo hacer. Tal vez ustedes han sentido la misma frustración que siento a menudo: a pesar de mis buenas intenciones, día tras día sigo cometiendo los mismos errores y cayendo en las mismas tentaciones que he tratado de dejar. Me enojo con mis hijos sin justificación, juzgo a otros cuando no actúan de acuerdo con mis preferencias, malgasto el tiempo, etcétera, y mis esfuerzos para mejorarme sólo me parecen dar frutos microscópicos. Si tengo que abandonar todos mis pecados para cumplir con los requisitos del arrepentimiento y así ganarme el perdón, nunca lo lograré, y no hay esperanza para mi.

Para darles un ejemplo sencillo, varias veces cuando he estado en el templo he sentido la voz del espíritu decirme que necesito cuidar mejor a mi cuerpo y dormir más de lo que históricamente he hecho. Ya son años que estoy recibiendo esta dirección de dios, y no lo he seguido bien mas de unos dias. Sé lo que debo hacer, pero no lo hago. ¿Hay perdón para mi en este caso, cuando no he abandonado el pecado?

Estos pasos no son malos; realmente son buenos para guiarnos a traves del proceso del arrepentimiento. Pero lo más importante es recordar qu en realidad el perdón no es algo que podemos ganar a través de estos pasos o las buenas obras. El perdón es un don de Dios, que se nos da por medio de la expiación de Jesucristo. Sin este acto de amor y sacrificio, no hay cosa alguna que pudiéramos hacer para ganar el perdón, porque al momento de pecar, hubiéramos perdido la salvación por toda la eternidad. Sí es importante que ponemos el esfuerzo para arrepentirnos y mejorarnos, pero el propósito de este proceso no es perfeccionarnos antes de recibir el perdón, sino que es de reorientarnos hacia el Señor para poder recibir su gracia y el don del perdón que se hace posible por medio de su sacrificio expiatorio. Esta gracia también nos esfuerza para tratar otra vez y seguir adelante cuando desfallezcamos. Voy a leer parte de la escritura antedicha otra vez, pero esta vez quiero enfocarme en lo que nos enseña acerca del carácter de Dios.

He aquí. Quien se ha arrepentido de sus pecados es perdonado; y yo, el señor, no los recuerdo más. 

¡Esto me dice que el Señor no está buscando oportunidades de condenarme! No quiere que me esconda con vergüenza cuando haya pecado. Es un padre perfecto que quiere perdonarnos libremente y olvidarse completamente de nuestros pecados. Nos ama tanto que dio a su Hijo Unigénito para hacer posible este don, y no creo que lo hizo para que unos pocos de sus hijos escogidos volvieran a Él. Creo que Él quiere que todos sus hijos sepan de su amor y reciban este don, y asi es algo que todos podemos lograr si tratamos de hacerlo.

El Profeta y presidente anterior de la Iglesia, Gordon B. HInckley, dijo

La gran Expiación fue el acto supremo del perdón. La magnitud de esa Expiación trasciende nuestra capacidad de entender completamente. Lo único que sé es que en verdad aconteció y que fue tanto para mi provecho como para el de ustedes. El sufrimiento fue tan profundo y la agonía tan intensa que nadie puede llegar a comprender que el Salvador se hubiera ofrecido como rescate por los pecados de toda la humanidad.

Por medio de Él obtenemos el perdón. Mediante Él recibimos la promesa cierta de que a todos se nos concederán las bendiciones de la salvación y de la resurrección de los muertos. Por medio de Él y de Su extraordinario y supremo sacrificio, se nos brinda la oportunidad, si es que somos obedientes, de la exaltación y la vida eterna. 

Entonces, no podemos arrepentirnos sin Jesucristo. No podemos recibir el perdón sin Jesucristo. Así que, si queremos buscar el perdón del Señor, tenemos que buscar a Jesucristo. Teniendo esto en la mente, al estudiar las escrituras en cuánto al perdón, podemos entender los consejos no como demandas que Dios nos pone para lograr el perdón; en cambio, podemos verlos como una guía que podemos seguir para buscar a Cristo y re-fijar nuestra mirada hacia Él cuando hayamos desfallecido y nos hayamos extraviado de la senda estrecha.

El buscar a Cristo requiere que aprendamos quien es Él. Y las mejores maneras de conocer a Cristo son de comunicarse con Él a través de la oración y aprender de Él por medio de las escrituras, las cuales proveen una historia de cómo ha guiado a su pueblo trás la historia. 

En el Nuevo Testament, Jesús afirme que tiene el poder de sanarnos. Dice:

El Hijo del Hombre tiene potestad para perdonar pecados,

¿Y cómo aplica Él este poder con nosotros? En el libro de Números, Lo describe asi:

Jehová, que es tardo para la ira y grande en misericordia, que perdona la iniquidad y la transgresión.

Esto me indica cuán liberal es el Señor en perdonarnos. Tal vez el ejemplo más poderoso de su capacidad de perdonar se ve cuando Jesús estaba colgado en la cruz, y aún entre el sufrimiento extremo, pidió perdón por los que le estaba torturando y matando, porque no entendían lo que hacían.

Éste es un Dios a quien me puedo acercar. Es un Dios misericordioso. Es un Dios a quien puedo pedir sin temor si mi corazón está sincera. 

Teniendo en mente este conocimiento de quien es el Señor, voy a volver a los consejos que nos ha dado en las escrituras en cuanto a cómo recibir el don del perdón.

Ya dijimos que debemos hacer lo que podemos para dejar nuestros pecados al confesarlos, pedir perdón, y abandonarlos. Cada vez que pecamos, podemos pedir de nuevo, sin temer que el Señor se va a cansar de nuestras pedidas. En el Libro de Mormón, en el Libro de Mosias, el Señor dice al Rey Benjamin:

Sí, y cuántas veces mi pueblo se arrepienta, le perdonaré sus transgresiones contra mí.

Además, al trabajar en la obra del Señor, nos ayuda a mantener el perdón porque nos ayuda a mantenernos cerca a Jesucristo. Primeramente, al hacer y guardar convenios con el Señor, él nos perdona los pecados.  En el libro de Hechos, 2:38, Pedro dice al pueblo:

Arrepentíos y bautícese cada uno de vosotros en el nombre de Jesucristo para perdón de los pecados, y recibiréis el don del Espíritu Santo.

Al ejercitar la fe y cumplir con las sagradas promesas que hacemos con el Señor al bautizarnos y después al hacer más convenios en el templo, podemos seguir recibiendo el perdón de nuestros pecados a pesar de nuestra debilidad.

Además, El Rey Benjamin también dijo:

Y también os perdonaréis vuestras ofensas los unos a los otros; porque en verdad os digo que el que no perdona las ofensas de su prójimo, cuando este dice que se arrepiente, tal ha traído sobre sí la condenación.

Entonces, otro requisito para recibir el perdón del Señor es perdonar a los demás cuando nos hayan ofendido. Al perdonar a otros, seguimos el ejemplo del Señor y nos acercamos a Él. Benjamin siguió su discurso en cuanto a cómo podemos buscar la remisión de nuestros pecados al buscar al Señor:

Y otra vez os digo, según dije antes, que así como habéis llegado al conocimiento de la gloria de Dios, o si habéis sabido de su bondad, y probado su amor, y habéis recibido la remisión de vuestros pecados, lo que ocasiona tan inmenso gozo en vuestras almas, así quisiera que recordaseis y retuvieseis siempre en vuestra memoria la grandeza de Dios, y vuestra propia nulidad, y su bondad y longanimidad para con vosotros, indignas criaturas, y os humillaseis aun en las profundidades de la humildad, invocando el nombre del Señor diariamente, y permaneciendo firmes en la fe de lo que está por venir, que fue anunciado por boca del ángel.

Y he aquí, os digo que si hacéis esto, siempre os regocijaréis, y seréis llenos del amor de Dios y siempre retendréis la remisión de vuestros pecados; y aumentaréis en el conocimiento de la gloria de aquel que os creó, o sea, en el conocimiento de lo que es justo y verdadero.

Y ahora bien, por causa de estas cosas que os he hablado —es decir, a fin de retener la remisión de vuestros pecados de día en día, para que andéis sin culpa ante Dios— quisiera que de vuestros bienes dieseis al pobre, cada cual según lo que tuviere, tal como alimentar al hambriento, vestir al desnudo, visitar al enfermo, y ministrar para su alivio, tanto espiritual como temporalmente, según sus necesidades.

Podemos ver que todas estas cosas no son cosas que podemos hacer de una vez y ser perdonados. Son cosas que nos trae el perdón porque nos traen a Jesucristo y nos inspiran a caminar en esta vida siguiendo el ejemplo que nos dejó: el de amar y servir y perdonar a todos los demás. 

Si ustedes son perfeccionistas como la soy yo, puede ser que al escuchar todos estos requisitos y recomendaciones, sientan abrumados. A veces no siento que puedo hacer más de lo que estoy haciendo ahora. Pero como dije al principio, no tenemos que hacer todo en este mismo momento, por nosotros mismos. Si estamos haciendo un esfuerzo con buenas intenciones, tratando de buscar a Cristo, tengo confianza de que nuestros esfuerzos serán aceptados. También se nos ha dado el don del Espíritu Santo para guiarnos y enfocarnos en las cosas que Dios quiere que hagamos en cualquier momento. El profeta Nefi enseñó:

Porque he aquí, os digo otra vez, que si entráis por la senda y recibís el Espíritu Santo, él os mostrará todas las cosas que debéis hacer.

Quiero invitar a cada uno de nosotros a considerar el estado de nuestra relación con Dios, y a preguntarle lo que Él quiere que haga, sabiendo que Él te ama de todo corazón, que Él quiere perdonarte, que no te va a dar un trabajo que no puedes hacer, y que te ayudaré en cumplirlo.

Quiero terminar enfatizando mi testimonio de Jesucristo: Yo sé que tenemos a Padres Celestiales, que nos aman perfectamente y que quieren que todos sus hijos regresemos a su presencia. Por esto fue mandado Jesucristo a la tierra para llevar la carga de nuestros pecados y ganarnos la salvación. Estoy siempre agradecida por este don y el amor que tuvo para llevar a cabo este milagro que es el centro de todo el plan de salvación y de todo lo que hacemos en esta iglesia. El tratar de seguir a Cristo me ha traido a este mismo momento en mi vida, y nunca me a ha fallado. Este conocimiento me humilla y me da esperanza para seguir adelante.

Talk: Perfect in Christ

 Perfection in Christ

August 28, 2022

As I was pondering how to start my talk today, my mind somewhat randomly came to a phrase in my patriarchal blessing, which I think will be okay to share here. I am cautioned that at times Satan will attempt to bruise my heels and lead me astray. In the scriptures we read that Satan will have power to bruise our heels here in mortality, and I wondered what that really meant. So I Iooked up what it means to have a bruised heel, and Dr. Kenworthy over there confirmed that my internet search didn’t lead me too far astray, even if my medical terminology was incorrect. 

A bruised heel happens when the fat pad in your heel, which cushions the heel bone, is compressed and displaced, allowing the bone to bruise. 

It is caused by repetitive impact on the heel, especially from repetitive jumping or long-distance running (which happens to be my favorite sport. Not that I run that far these days, but if I’m going to do something, it’s usually running). Contributing factors are poor footwear and training errors, like increasing your training too far, too fast, or changing the surface you run on or your footwear you use without time to adapt. In short, it is an overuse injury.

I know this would have zero meaning to most people from a spiritual standpoint, but when I read that I caught my breath and had to stop for a minute, because I knew that this phrase was put there for a reason, for me. The Lord wanted to remind me right now that He knows me, and a main vulnerability to my spiritual well-being is overuse fatigue--expecting myself to be able to do more and be more right now, and being discouraged when I don’t measure up. 

But how do we reconcile all of the counsel we get to do better with the plain fact that we can’t do it all? This is something that I feel that the Lord has been teaching me over and over and over again. (Apparently I am not just a perfectionist, I am a stubborn perfectionist. But really, it’s something I’ve always struggled with)

In the past I have thought that if I was obedient enough I could do everything. Aren’t we promised that keeping the commandments will mean that we can run and not be weary and walk and not faint? It’s funny, given how much of my life I have spent running, how long it took me to actually learn about what all these scripture references to running mean in practice. We need to remember that the kind of stamina needed to run without becoming weary is only ever achieved by long, slow training, always with an eye to pacing. The Lord may ask me to run a marathon, but he doesn’t expect me to up and do it at World Championship pace right this second. Along that route, I need periods of slow runs, sprint and medley workouts to build speed, and lots of nourishment and rest.

I also like to pause when I hear the word, “shall.” This one came up a lot in my legal writing class way back when, because it really has multiple meanings. It can express what will happen, but it can also express a command. So commandment keeping will make it so that we will be able to run and not be weary, but if it’s a commandment as well as a promise, we need to do the practical things that keep us from getting weary: pacing ourselves, taking care of ourselves, making sure our shoes don’t get worn out and our form is proper, and sometimes taking a break or riding a bike or swimming instead of running at at all. Scriptures like Mosiah 4:27 explain how to do this: “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.” The running really isn’t the important part here: it’s the diligence. And we enable ourselves to be consistent and diligent when we give ourselves a sustainable pace.

If you haven’t had enough misinterpreted scriptural running analogies, then I’m sorry but I’m on a roll so we are going to keep going. We often talk about running a race with respect to living the Gospel, and there is a lot we can learn from this analogy that is useful. Hebrews 12 encourages us to “lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” But I think this idea also can get us off track if we don’t understand the limits of the metaphor. The main characteristic of a race is competition. But living the Gospel, whose purpose is to redeem the whole human family, should be anything but a competition.

The girls on my high school cross-country team were all Christian, and our team scripture became 1 Corinthians 9:24: “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth a prize? So run, that ye may obtain. Great scripture, and it inspired me to run my hardest and try my best in more than just running. But 16-year-old me did not take time to understand the context of the rest of Paul’s message here. He continues: “And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things.” Oh, right there he is saying that we need to moderate our efforts and keep balance! Not just run flat out without stopping. “Now they (meaning the runners in a race) do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.” Right there Paul is saying that he is actually contrasting living the gospel with running a race to point out how they are different. “I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air.” 

As we run our race with temperance, we should remember that the eternal race isn’t at all about how ahead or behind we perceive ourselves to be compared to the people around us or reaching a certain righteousness index. Certainly as we follow Christ He will help us to overcome sins and temptations, but the important part really isn’t the progress metric, but the process itself. Because the moment we think that we don’t need Christ desperately, or don’t need HIm as much as other people, we are right back at the starting line. This reminds me of the Nephites who were there when Christ appeared. They heard a voice, and the first two times they didn’t understand it because they looked around at each other to try to figure out what was happening. It wasn’t until the third time that they looked steadfastly to heaven, and not to each other, that they were able to understand what the Lord had to say to them.

As I wrote about competition and comparison, in my mind's eye I saw our ward as my high school track practice, where lots of different athletes of different abilities are training. Some are jogging slowly, some are doing sprints, some are walking or stretching. They all have different abilities and strengths. They are all training for different events. Some are practicing shot put or pole vault. Some, like me at some points, are in the field house icing their shins or riding a stationary bike because they, shockingly, have an overuse injury. And I felt the love of the Savior, who would look on each of those athletes that He loves and not care an ounce what mistakes they had made or what struggles they had or what place they came in at the last meet. Knowling all these things, He would only care that they were there showing up, willing to be coached and stretched, willing to try because they trust HIm and trust in the process He has laid out for each of them, and they want to do their best.

I think that’s why another phrase has been coming back to me for the last several months: the Lord’s course is “one eternal round.” Like that track where we can all train and help one another, remembering as Paul did that worldly races are about winning but eternal races aren’t. 

I think it’s so interesting that we regularly have images of the Lord being on a straight path but also being on a round one. In Alma 7 he says:

“For I perceive that ye are in the paths of righteousness; I perceive that ye are in the path which leads to the kingdom of God; yea, I perceive that ye are making his paths straight.

“I perceive that it has been made known unto you, by the testimony of his word, that he cannot walk in crooked paths; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong; therefore, his course is one eternal round.”

The path is straight because it is narrow and doesn’t vary, but it’s round because the Lord is always on the right and never going to the left (or to what is wrong). When it comes to my analogy we may need to run the track backwards so we will always be turning right, but otherwise, I think the metaphor holds. And I think it’s safe to say that if you feel like you are running in circles and your efforts aren’t taking you as far as you might like, you are still on the Lord’s path. If you make the same mistakes you’ve made before but you get up and try again, you are still on the Lord’s path. And it doesn’t matter where on that track you are as long as you are trying to listen to His voice and do what He asks. It just matters that you are there trying, and supporting the other people that are there training with you.

In my effort to run and not be weary, for the last good while I have been slowly going through the Book of Mormon again, trying to take time and to open myself up to what the Lord might teach me, not putting too much pressure on myself to finish a certain study plan or have a remarkable insight every time. I think it was no coincidence that when I received this assignment I had been working my way through Christ’s teachings to the Nephites in 3 Nephi for a week or so.

Then, what do you know, I open up the talk that Bishop Smith suggested I reference for this talk and immediately Elder Holland brought up those very passages! He said:

“The Sermon on the Mount begins with soothing, gentle beatitudes, but in the verses that follow, we are told--among other things--not only not to kill but also not even to be angry. We are told not only not to commit adultery but also not even to have impure thoughts. To those who ask for it, we are to give our coat and then give our cloak also. We are to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and do good to them who hate us.

He continues, “If that is your morning scripture study, and after reading just that far you are pretty certain you are not going to get good marks on your gospel report card, then the final commandment in the chain is sure to finish the job: ‘Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father…in heaven is perfect.’ With that concluding imperative, we want to go back to bed and pull the covers over our head. Such celestial goals seem beyond our reach. Yet surely the Lord would never give us a commandment He knew we could not keep.”

Part of the problem that Elder Holland alludes to here comes from the fact that the connotations of the word “perfect” in  modern English are different from the original meaning in the scriptures. And now we get to go back to the tried-and-true, stereotypical way to start a talk:

The dictionary defines the word perfect as: 

1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type:

2. excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement:

3. Unblemished, faultless, flawless

If we apply this definition to Jesus’ injunction, we are likely to despair. No matter how much I try and how much I trust and how much I repent, I don’t see a way for me to conform absolutely to the measure of Christ, to get to the point that I can’t make any theoretical improvement, or to be faultless or flawless. Just ask my boys how many times in a week I have to apologize to them because I reacted poorly to something. But despair is a tool of Satan, not God. Despair is how I’m prone to being led astray, thinking that I just can’t measure up and so it’s less painful not to try. We can similarly be led astray if we expect that righteousness should make others free from error too. If we expect righteousness to mean perfectionism, then every leader and prophet from the beginning of time down to Russell M. Nelson will be a disappointment. And if the prophets can’t be perfect, and we can’t be perfect, what’s the point? This is why Satan wants so badly for us to spend our time tearing ourselves and others down, using a measuring stick that isn’t scaled for grace and mercy and the pure love of Christ. 

Thankfully, this is not what Christ asks of us. President Nelson has taught that the word used in Matthew 5 is the Greek teleios, meaning complete. Its prefix, tele-, as in telephone or telegram, indicates something far off. Its verb form means to complete or to reach a distant end or goal. (CR Oct 1995, “Perfection Pending”)

This definition of perfection is so much more hopeful to me. It’s something I can work toward, little by little, with help; not something I have to demonstrate now to be worthy. It causes me to look up at the goal instead of down on myself. 

And I think that is a huge key to becoming perfect in Christ. It’s looking to Him instead of looking to our own strength and wisdom and understanding. It’s trusting that even though the gap between our expectations and our performance seems wide, He can use us for His purposes and, line upon line, make us like He is.

Back to Elder Holland’s talk, which is from October 2017 for anyone who would like to read it:

“‘Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him,...,’ Moroni pleads. “Love God with all your might, mind and strength, then … by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.’ Our only hope for true perfection is in receiving it as a gift from heaven--we can’t ‘earn’ it. Thus, the grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism.” 

I love to think about what it means to receive the gift of perfection from Christ like Elder Holland says rather than trying to earn it myself. When I think about the magnitude of that gift, I’m inspired to obey Him out of love and to give what I can to His other children. I don’t excuse my sins and mistakes, but I can forgive myself for them and resolve to keep on trying. That’s the difference between guilt vs. shame, between grace vs. perfectionism, and really between what Christ tells us about ourselves vs. what the adversary wants us to believe. We are supposed to have weakness so that Christ can mold us into the people He needs us to be.

So going back to those “soothing, gentle beatitudes” that Christ gives before asking us to live a higher, more demanding law, I see now why it was so important that they be given first. If we come up against the demands of the law and feel broken or weak, if we sin and we mourn and we feel like the poorest in spirit, then the law is having its proper effect on us: it has shown us our need for Christ. Remember the people who He blesses are poor, broken, meek, hungry, thirsty, and persecuted. These aren’t things we are trying to avoid, as we do in a worldly sense. These are things we are seeking after, because it’s not so much the achievements as the continual turning to HIm that He is looking for. It’s the broken heart that He wants, because it’s a broken heart that can let Him in to stretch and grow and change. “And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” (3 Nephi 9:20) Then if we turn to Him we will be blessed as He described!

 

Elder Holland put it this way:  “Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete--which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.”

With that in mind, my personal invitation for all of us is that we press forward toward perfection in the sense that we press forward toward Christ. We keep looking to Him, trying to do what He asks us with the understanding that He’ll provide the strength and the light and He can make our small and imperfect offerings able to accomplish His great work.

We can “be not weary in well-doing, for [we] are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.” (D&C 64:33–34) Not perfection; desire and willingness. 

“[We] are not able to abide the presence of God now, neither the ministering of angels; wherefore, continue in patience until [we] are perfected.” (D&C 67:13)

We follow the counsel to “not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided…; but be diligent unto the end.” (D&C 10:3)

As Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the Quorum of the Twelve taught:

“As we seek new and holier ways to love God and help us and others prepare to meet Him, we remember that perfection is in Christ, not in ourselves or in the perfectionism of the world.

“God’s invitations are full of love and possibility because Jesus Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life.” To those who feel burdened, He invites, “Come unto me,” and to those who come to Him, He promises, “I will give you rest.” “Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, … love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.”

I leave that invitation and my testimony that Jesus is the Christ, who took all of our sins and weaknesses and infirmities upon Himself so that He can make us whole, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Dispelling Clouds of Darkness

 I have been sitting with this scripture during my last couple of study sessions. 

Now, this is what Ammon desired, for he knew that king Lamoni was under the power of God; he knew that the dark veil of unbelief was being cast away from his mind, and the light which did light up his mind, which was the light of the glory of God, which was a marvelous light of his goodness--yea, this light had infused such joy into his soul, the cloud of darkness having been dispelled, and that the light of everlasting life was lit up in his soul, yea, he knew that this had overcome his natural frame, and he was carried away in God--

Alma 19:6

On my first reading, my thought was, "I want the light of Everlasting Life to be lit up in my soul." Do you know that feeling when you learn something and some truth sinks into your heart and you just feel lit up inside? You want to tell everyone! Those moments are more few and far-between than I would like, and I want to keep my soul lit up so that I can share light with others and be filled with charity toward the people I interact with. When my soul is filled with stress or overwhelm then stress and overwhelm spill out when I am pressed. But when I open up my soul to be filled with light, then light is what spills out.

On today's reading, I thought about the process of joy dispersing the clouds of darkness. The king Lamoni story presents the straightforward process of repentance bringing joy that dispels the darkness caused by sin. And when we see people who have a hard time feeling the Spirit, we recommend the things that dispel sin, like studying or praying more, giving service or being more obedient. And certainly those things won't hurt, but what may hurt is the implication that all clouds come from sin. How much harm has this kind of assumption had on those who fall into the kinds of darkness that come not from personal sin but from depression, grief, anxiety, or trial? How do we enable joy and light to dispel those kinds of clouds? Some thoughts I have:

• When we can't feel the Spirit, praying more won't necessarily make us magically able to feel it more strongly if there are other factors darkening our minds. 
• What we can do is operate under the assumption that the light is pointed in our direction (i.e. that God loves us fully) and that He can reveal to us what we can do in our particular circumstances to thin the clouds blocking that light.
• We can find comfort knowing that the presence of clouds does not equate to the presence of sin (more than what we all regularly sin daily).
• Recognize that different kinds of clouds require different steps to dispel. Sin clouds need repentance. Depression clouds may need therapy, medication, coaching, and time. Clouds of grief may require time, therapy, and our willingness to let our feelings come to the surface so we can process them.
• Know that God can handle our darkness. We don't need to be ashamed of it or feel unworthy because it is there. He can handle us being disappointed, sad, and angry, even with Him. He wants to dispel it as much as we do, and he knows exactly why and how long it needs to be there. He can teach us our way through it. 
• Mists of darkness may go on for hours. He will gives us scripture and prayer and revelation--the word of God--not to make us feel guilty that we aren't using them enough, but so that we have something to cling to when we can't see our way. Being able to see out of the cloud has nothing to do with whether we are on the right track. If we are clinging on and taking steps in the darkness, that is when we are exercising the very most faith.
• Another way that the light can dispel darkness is when truth dispels the lies that we believe. King Lamoni believed many false things about the Nephites, about the nature of God, and about himself. We like to tell ourselves in the church that since we have so much truth we should always be happy--the happiest people in the world. But all of us are prey to believing lies that Satan teaches us through life's experiences and society's expectations. Lies like, "You aren't good enough." "You have to do more to earn your way to righteousness." "Everyone else has it together and you can't do it." "Your body is too much or not enough." "You don't have anything to offer." "Your contribution doesn't matter." What a cloud over our minds blocking our joy! We can get help to dispel these lies and let other truths sink it. That our worth is not tied to our productivity. That our bodies are wonderful tools that allow us to feel and experience so many things regardless of our health or size or image. That our bodies and souls are worthy of love simply because we are children of God, created in the image of Heavenly Parents. That the intent of our heart is what makes our actions matter, not our results or our productivity. That trying is all that is required.

There is so much more to say on the subject, and lots of people know it better than I do, but I want to work on dispelling the darkness for myself, one cloud at a time, so I have more light to share.

Ammon and Great Missionary Work

 I have had plenty of lessons extolling Ammon as a missionary. And he was a great missionary. Most of  those focused on how he was willing to serve, how he was brave, and how God protected him and gave him power. All important things, but today my studies reminded me how normal Ammon was. And sometimes I need that because I don't see myself in heroes, but I do see myself in people who are trying, and don't really know what they are doing, but make an awkward attempt anyway. 

Let's recap Ammon's encounter with King Lamoni and see where I can relate.

Ammon arrives and is immediately arrested and brought before the king to see how he should be disposed of. The king asks if he desires to live among his people and Ammon says yes and reveals that he really doesn't know the long-term plan and may stay there forever for all he knows. 

Moving forward even though I don't have my future figured out? Been there, done that, doing that.

The king is happy with this answer and offers Ammon his daughter for a wife. Ammon declines and asks to be a servant. 

Attempt to tactfully dodge romantic advances that don't lead where I want to go? Did that a couple of times. 

Avoid awkwardness by being excessively helpful? Yes and yes.

Next Ammon goes out to work with the king's servants. Bad guys come and scatter the flocks, the servants melt down because they don't want to get killed, and Ammon sees an opportunity to show his power and win them over. 

Again with the excessive helpfulness. Right up my alley.

He helps them gather the sheep back together, but the bad guys are relentless and come back for more. Epic battle ensues in which Ammon kills six with his sling, then disarms his other attackers more literally than I like to imagine. 

This is the part that is usually emphasized in this story, and with which I relate 0%. I would not be cutting off any arms unless the Spirit straight up took over my brain and my body. I am not wired for blood and guts and certainly not for cutting off anyone's arms.

They head back to the king's complex and the rest of the guys bring back the loose arms. They take them to show the king while Ammon goes on to the next task they were supposed to do.

Avoiding attention? Not wanting to brag when I accomplished something that clearly wasn't my own strength? Being traumatized for harming people when I was trying to do what's right? Not wanting to show my face until my jobs are done? Yuppers.

Ammon finishes getting the king's horses ready and then goes back to report. When he walks in he can see that the king is looking troubled. Perhaps Ammon recalls how easily the king could call for his execution; he did just kill six of the king's subjects and severely maim several more. He was about to turn tail and back right out of that room when one of the servant addresses him with a title of high honor and asks him to stay.

Wanting to cut and run when I think someone may be mad at me? Most definitely yes.

Ammon gets bold and asks the king what he can do for him. And then he waits FOR AN HOUR. He stands there awkwardly for an hour.

This may be the thing I can relate to most of all. The pressure is on, I feel like I need to say something or explain myself or connect, and nothing. No words, brain racing and frozen at the same time.

After an hour Ammon asks again with no response, and THEN he is filled with the Spirit, at which time he asks the very obvious question of whether the king is troubled because he had just singlehandedly and superhumanly defended the king's flocks and servants. He is like, "What's so impressive about that? I'm just a man." And in this kind of obvious answer the Spirit speaks through him to King Lamoni, helps the latter articulate the real questions he has, and stops his brain paralysis.

Fumbling through just opening my mouth to say what the Lord might want me to say, feeling like maybe that didn't make any sense at all because I am really nothing, but somehow the Spirit speaks through that mess anyway? Exactly how I feel whenever I teach.

Ammon tells the king that he wants to serve him, and "whatsoever thou desirest which is right, that will I do."

Bonding through service? My go-to. The only way I know how to make friends and relate to people. I just want to do things for them and make them feel comfortable with me.

Ammon proceeds to answer the king's questions on the condition that the king will believe what Ammon says.

Not wanting to put myself out there if the person will reject the sacred thing I have to share? Yes yes yes.

I could go on but this covers the bulk of it. Of course I don't really know all of Ammon's personality, and I don't mean at all to downplay what a brave and bold missionary he was, but it is such a comfort to me to imagine these very human people feeling their way along in the work of the Lord and trusting that He will come through even when they don't know how that will all work out. That is something I feel like I can do for the cause, even if I'll never raise a sword in defense of the cause. So maybe I can liken Ammon's story to me after all.

Christmas Talk 2021:

 December 26, 2021 Talk

First-century Nazareth and Bethlehem were not bustling, prosperous towns. Most of their inhabitants, numbering just a few hundred each, labored for their daily subsistence and little more. They were shepherds, farmers, fishermen, carpenters. No one expected anything particularly good to come of those places or people. (John 1:45-46), but these are the people and places who raised the Son of God.

His toddlerhood was spent as a refugee in a foreign land. His youth was spent laboring beside his stepfather and his earthly family, growing from grace to grace. 

His ministry began far from the seats of power and his chosen aides did not come from the exalted or admired, but were chosen from the margins. He was unafraid to mingle with the rejected, the sin-stained, the unclean, and He saw in them a capacity for love and gratitude and service that exceeded the depth of those who felt they had little need for forgiveness. (Luke 7:40-50) He saw past each individual’s outward circumstance to know the thoughts and desires of their hearts, their strengths and weaknesses. Being seen and known this way, some went away sorrowing from their interactions. Others ran to Him, trusting Him to forgive much, to love mercy, and to help their unbelief.

As I savor the last echoes of this Christmas season and look into another year as one under covenant to follow the path Christ walked, I am inclined to keep trying to shift my focus away from the externalities of life and even of discipleship. Because we are not called to look or talk a certain way, to have certain things or uphold a certain image. I am, however, under covenant to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. To be with people in our imperfect world, seeing the best of their potential and trusting that God will use the best of theirs and mine for His purposes even when we all get it wrong so regularly. As Hayley so beautifully sang,

Truly He taught us to love one another; His law is Love and His gospel is Peace; 

Chains shall he break, for the slave is our brother, and in his name all oppression shall cease,

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful Chorus raise we; let all within us praise His Holy name.

I am thankful for a Savior who carried our sorrows and bore our griefs and burdens, and who then allows us to know Him by inviting us to do that work with Him. We can pick up a tiny part of our neighbor’s load, minister to their needs, listen to understand their life experiences and perspectives so we can see and build on every good intention of their hearts. We can do this in our homes with our children and family members, in our ward family, and in our communities. I know that doing so can expand our hearts and allow us to feel His love for others and for us as well. Life eternal is knowing our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ whom he sent, and there seems to me to be no better way to get to know them than to do their work and love as Christ did.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2019/01/mary-the-mother-of-jesus?lang=eng