Preparing the Sacrament

I helped Ethan prepare this talk for Sacrament meeting today, and he did a wonderful job giving it and got many, many compliments both on his delivery and on the content. I hope I can remember these things that we learned together every week when I see those boys preparing the sacrament.

Ethan's Talk:

Hello Brothers and Sisters, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ethan Kenworthy. The topic I was given today was: “How our service in preparing the sacrament helps all of us cherish the gift of repentance and forgiveness by turning to Christ through this sacred ordinance”

A lot of times, preparing the sacrament is just something that is part of my Sunday routine. It’s my duty, and so I do it, and it doesn’t always feel like a big act of service. But receiving this topic gave me a good opportunity to really reflect on what it means for our ward when the teachers prepare the sacrament.

Doctrine and Covenants 59:9-10 says, “For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and pay thy devotions unto the most high.”

In his talk titled “Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament,” Elder Oaks said:

“This is a commandment with a promise. By participating weekly and appropriately in the ordinance of the sacrament we qualify for the promise that we will ‘always have his spirit to be with us.’ That Spirit is the foundation of our testimony. It testifies of the father and the son, brings all things unto our remembrance, and leads us into truth. This gift of the Holy Ghost, President Wilford Woodruff taught, ‘is the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon man.’”

President Oaks continues:

The ordinance of the sacrament makes the sacrament meeting the most sacred and important meeting in the Church. It is the only Sabbath meeting the entire family can attend together. Its content in addition to the sacrament should always be planned and presented to focus our attention on the Atonement and the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

 

That quote made me ask myself how preparing the sacrament each week could point all of us to the Savior. To start, the symbols of the sacrament and how we prepare them are all designed to remind us of Christ’s Atonement. 

The very first thing we do when we arrive is to wash our hands. We do this in order to be clean before we handle the sacrament. In a similar way, every one of us is supposed to come to the sacrament with “clean hands and a pure heart.” (Psalm 24:3-4) We are able to become clean from our sins when we repent, and then we can renew our baptismal covenant by taking the sacrament.

The next thing we do is to prepare the bread and water. We know that the bread symbolizes the body of Jesus Christ, which He sacrificed for us. The water symbolizes Jesus’ blood, which He shed for us in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. In a 2017 General Conference talk, Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, “The bread and water represent the flesh and blood of Him who is the Bread of Life and the Living Water, poignantly reminding us of the price He paid to redeem us. As the bread is broken, we remember the Savior’s torn flesh. As we drink the water, we think of the blood He shed in Gethsemane and on the cross and its sanctifying power.” 

During the sacrament, we pass the sacrament tray to each other down the rows. We serve each other when we pass the trays down the rows, and we all need each other as we partake of the sacrament. Jesus Christ set the example for us by serving everyone he could, like how we serve each other in this way. In the scriptures, we are told to obtain a remission of our sins we need to love, serve, and forgive each other.

We cover the trays with a cloth, which represents Jesus’ body, just as He was covered with a cloth in the tomb. It reminds us of how Jesus died for all of us so we could be forgiven of our sins. He was then resurrected and the cloth was removed, just like we take off the cloth during the sacrament. This reminds us of Jesus’ resurrection, and that we can also be born again and have new life through His atonement.

In short, every part of the sacrament is about Jesus Christ. He is the Son of God. He came here to pay for our sins. In order to do that He had to live a perfect life. In Elder Christofferson's talk, he said: “As we partake of the sacramental bread and water each week, we would do well to consider how fully and completely we must incorporate His character and the pattern of His sinless life into our life and being. Jesus could not have atoned for the sins of others unless He Himself was sinless.” Taking the sacrament each week can give us power to overcome our sins and become more like Jesus Christ.

In Luke 22: 14-20, it says:

“And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him. And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer: For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God. And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it among yourselves:  … And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.”

This shows how Jesus Himself was the first one to institute the sacrament and told his disciples: “This do in remembrance of me.” So since the beginning of the sacrament the purpose was to help us remember and cherish Jesus Christ’s Atonement. When we prepare and partake of the sacrament every week, we are following his example. 

I’m thankful for the ability that we have to repent and renew our covenants every week with the sacrament. I know that the sacrament can help us feel closer to Jesus.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Talk: Buscando el Perdon del Senor

I gave this talk in the Spanish group, and so wrote it in Spanish. With the wonders of Google Translate, I won't worry about creating an English version and will just leave this here with my other talks.

Hoy se me ha pedido hablar en cuanto al tema, “Buscando el perdón del Señor.” Inmediatamente me gustó este tema porque, mientras refiere a las cosas que necesitamos hacer para buscar el perdón, se enfoca más en el Señor y cómo Él otorga el perdón. Muchas veces en la iglesia hablamos del arrepentimiento cómo un proceso que nos gana el perdón y la salvación. Repasamos los pasos del arrepentimiento como una lista de verificación: 1. Reconocer que hemos pecado y confesarlo. Cheque. 2. Pedir perdón a dios. Cheque. 3. Pedir perdón a las personas a quienes hayamos lastimado. Cheque. 4. Hacer lo posible para reparar y sanar la herida. Cheque. La escritura que se me asignó hoy, que se encuentra el Doctrina y Convenios 58:42-43, también describe cómo arrepentirse:

He aquí. quien se ha arrepentido de sus pecados es perdonado; y yo, el señor, no los recuerdo más. 

Por esto podréis saber si un hombre se arrepiente de sus pecados: He aquí, los confesará y los abandonará.

Doctrina y Convenios 58:42-43

Esta escritura da un esquema similar de lo que mencioné antes de cómo arrepentirse: Hay que confesar el pecado y abandonar el pecado. Me parece sencillo, pero al tratar de hacerlo sola por mi misma, cada vez descubro que no lo puedo hacer. Tal vez ustedes han sentido la misma frustración que siento a menudo: a pesar de mis buenas intenciones, día tras día sigo cometiendo los mismos errores y cayendo en las mismas tentaciones que he tratado de dejar. Me enojo con mis hijos sin justificación, juzgo a otros cuando no actúan de acuerdo con mis preferencias, malgasto el tiempo, etcétera, y mis esfuerzos para mejorarme sólo me parecen dar frutos microscópicos. Si tengo que abandonar todos mis pecados para cumplir con los requisitos del arrepentimiento y así ganarme el perdón, nunca lo lograré, y no hay esperanza para mi.

Para darles un ejemplo sencillo, varias veces cuando he estado en el templo he sentido la voz del espíritu decirme que necesito cuidar mejor a mi cuerpo y dormir más de lo que históricamente he hecho. Ya son años que estoy recibiendo esta dirección de dios, y no lo he seguido bien mas de unos dias. Sé lo que debo hacer, pero no lo hago. ¿Hay perdón para mi en este caso, cuando no he abandonado el pecado?

Estos pasos no son malos; realmente son buenos para guiarnos a traves del proceso del arrepentimiento. Pero lo más importante es recordar qu en realidad el perdón no es algo que podemos ganar a través de estos pasos o las buenas obras. El perdón es un don de Dios, que se nos da por medio de la expiación de Jesucristo. Sin este acto de amor y sacrificio, no hay cosa alguna que pudiéramos hacer para ganar el perdón, porque al momento de pecar, hubiéramos perdido la salvación por toda la eternidad. Sí es importante que ponemos el esfuerzo para arrepentirnos y mejorarnos, pero el propósito de este proceso no es perfeccionarnos antes de recibir el perdón, sino que es de reorientarnos hacia el Señor para poder recibir su gracia y el don del perdón que se hace posible por medio de su sacrificio expiatorio. Esta gracia también nos esfuerza para tratar otra vez y seguir adelante cuando desfallezcamos. Voy a leer parte de la escritura antedicha otra vez, pero esta vez quiero enfocarme en lo que nos enseña acerca del carácter de Dios.

He aquí. Quien se ha arrepentido de sus pecados es perdonado; y yo, el señor, no los recuerdo más. 

¡Esto me dice que el Señor no está buscando oportunidades de condenarme! No quiere que me esconda con vergüenza cuando haya pecado. Es un padre perfecto que quiere perdonarnos libremente y olvidarse completamente de nuestros pecados. Nos ama tanto que dio a su Hijo Unigénito para hacer posible este don, y no creo que lo hizo para que unos pocos de sus hijos escogidos volvieran a Él. Creo que Él quiere que todos sus hijos sepan de su amor y reciban este don, y asi es algo que todos podemos lograr si tratamos de hacerlo.

El Profeta y presidente anterior de la Iglesia, Gordon B. HInckley, dijo

La gran Expiación fue el acto supremo del perdón. La magnitud de esa Expiación trasciende nuestra capacidad de entender completamente. Lo único que sé es que en verdad aconteció y que fue tanto para mi provecho como para el de ustedes. El sufrimiento fue tan profundo y la agonía tan intensa que nadie puede llegar a comprender que el Salvador se hubiera ofrecido como rescate por los pecados de toda la humanidad.

Por medio de Él obtenemos el perdón. Mediante Él recibimos la promesa cierta de que a todos se nos concederán las bendiciones de la salvación y de la resurrección de los muertos. Por medio de Él y de Su extraordinario y supremo sacrificio, se nos brinda la oportunidad, si es que somos obedientes, de la exaltación y la vida eterna. 

Entonces, no podemos arrepentirnos sin Jesucristo. No podemos recibir el perdón sin Jesucristo. Así que, si queremos buscar el perdón del Señor, tenemos que buscar a Jesucristo. Teniendo esto en la mente, al estudiar las escrituras en cuánto al perdón, podemos entender los consejos no como demandas que Dios nos pone para lograr el perdón; en cambio, podemos verlos como una guía que podemos seguir para buscar a Cristo y re-fijar nuestra mirada hacia Él cuando hayamos desfallecido y nos hayamos extraviado de la senda estrecha.

El buscar a Cristo requiere que aprendamos quien es Él. Y las mejores maneras de conocer a Cristo son de comunicarse con Él a través de la oración y aprender de Él por medio de las escrituras, las cuales proveen una historia de cómo ha guiado a su pueblo trás la historia. 

En el Nuevo Testament, Jesús afirme que tiene el poder de sanarnos. Dice:

El Hijo del Hombre tiene potestad para perdonar pecados,

¿Y cómo aplica Él este poder con nosotros? En el libro de Números, Lo describe asi:

Jehová, que es tardo para la ira y grande en misericordia, que perdona la iniquidad y la transgresión.

Esto me indica cuán liberal es el Señor en perdonarnos. Tal vez el ejemplo más poderoso de su capacidad de perdonar se ve cuando Jesús estaba colgado en la cruz, y aún entre el sufrimiento extremo, pidió perdón por los que le estaba torturando y matando, porque no entendían lo que hacían.

Éste es un Dios a quien me puedo acercar. Es un Dios misericordioso. Es un Dios a quien puedo pedir sin temor si mi corazón está sincera. 

Teniendo en mente este conocimiento de quien es el Señor, voy a volver a los consejos que nos ha dado en las escrituras en cuanto a cómo recibir el don del perdón.

Ya dijimos que debemos hacer lo que podemos para dejar nuestros pecados al confesarlos, pedir perdón, y abandonarlos. Cada vez que pecamos, podemos pedir de nuevo, sin temer que el Señor se va a cansar de nuestras pedidas. En el Libro de Mormón, en el Libro de Mosias, el Señor dice al Rey Benjamin:

Sí, y cuántas veces mi pueblo se arrepienta, le perdonaré sus transgresiones contra mí.

Además, al trabajar en la obra del Señor, nos ayuda a mantener el perdón porque nos ayuda a mantenernos cerca a Jesucristo. Primeramente, al hacer y guardar convenios con el Señor, él nos perdona los pecados.  En el libro de Hechos, 2:38, Pedro dice al pueblo:

Arrepentíos y bautícese cada uno de vosotros en el nombre de Jesucristo para perdón de los pecados, y recibiréis el don del Espíritu Santo.

Al ejercitar la fe y cumplir con las sagradas promesas que hacemos con el Señor al bautizarnos y después al hacer más convenios en el templo, podemos seguir recibiendo el perdón de nuestros pecados a pesar de nuestra debilidad.

Además, El Rey Benjamin también dijo:

Y también os perdonaréis vuestras ofensas los unos a los otros; porque en verdad os digo que el que no perdona las ofensas de su prójimo, cuando este dice que se arrepiente, tal ha traído sobre sí la condenación.

Entonces, otro requisito para recibir el perdón del Señor es perdonar a los demás cuando nos hayan ofendido. Al perdonar a otros, seguimos el ejemplo del Señor y nos acercamos a Él. Benjamin siguió su discurso en cuanto a cómo podemos buscar la remisión de nuestros pecados al buscar al Señor:

Y otra vez os digo, según dije antes, que así como habéis llegado al conocimiento de la gloria de Dios, o si habéis sabido de su bondad, y probado su amor, y habéis recibido la remisión de vuestros pecados, lo que ocasiona tan inmenso gozo en vuestras almas, así quisiera que recordaseis y retuvieseis siempre en vuestra memoria la grandeza de Dios, y vuestra propia nulidad, y su bondad y longanimidad para con vosotros, indignas criaturas, y os humillaseis aun en las profundidades de la humildad, invocando el nombre del Señor diariamente, y permaneciendo firmes en la fe de lo que está por venir, que fue anunciado por boca del ángel.

Y he aquí, os digo que si hacéis esto, siempre os regocijaréis, y seréis llenos del amor de Dios y siempre retendréis la remisión de vuestros pecados; y aumentaréis en el conocimiento de la gloria de aquel que os creó, o sea, en el conocimiento de lo que es justo y verdadero.

Y ahora bien, por causa de estas cosas que os he hablado —es decir, a fin de retener la remisión de vuestros pecados de día en día, para que andéis sin culpa ante Dios— quisiera que de vuestros bienes dieseis al pobre, cada cual según lo que tuviere, tal como alimentar al hambriento, vestir al desnudo, visitar al enfermo, y ministrar para su alivio, tanto espiritual como temporalmente, según sus necesidades.

Podemos ver que todas estas cosas no son cosas que podemos hacer de una vez y ser perdonados. Son cosas que nos trae el perdón porque nos traen a Jesucristo y nos inspiran a caminar en esta vida siguiendo el ejemplo que nos dejó: el de amar y servir y perdonar a todos los demás. 

Si ustedes son perfeccionistas como la soy yo, puede ser que al escuchar todos estos requisitos y recomendaciones, sientan abrumados. A veces no siento que puedo hacer más de lo que estoy haciendo ahora. Pero como dije al principio, no tenemos que hacer todo en este mismo momento, por nosotros mismos. Si estamos haciendo un esfuerzo con buenas intenciones, tratando de buscar a Cristo, tengo confianza de que nuestros esfuerzos serán aceptados. También se nos ha dado el don del Espíritu Santo para guiarnos y enfocarnos en las cosas que Dios quiere que hagamos en cualquier momento. El profeta Nefi enseñó:

Porque he aquí, os digo otra vez, que si entráis por la senda y recibís el Espíritu Santo, él os mostrará todas las cosas que debéis hacer.

Quiero invitar a cada uno de nosotros a considerar el estado de nuestra relación con Dios, y a preguntarle lo que Él quiere que haga, sabiendo que Él te ama de todo corazón, que Él quiere perdonarte, que no te va a dar un trabajo que no puedes hacer, y que te ayudaré en cumplirlo.

Quiero terminar enfatizando mi testimonio de Jesucristo: Yo sé que tenemos a Padres Celestiales, que nos aman perfectamente y que quieren que todos sus hijos regresemos a su presencia. Por esto fue mandado Jesucristo a la tierra para llevar la carga de nuestros pecados y ganarnos la salvación. Estoy siempre agradecida por este don y el amor que tuvo para llevar a cabo este milagro que es el centro de todo el plan de salvación y de todo lo que hacemos en esta iglesia. El tratar de seguir a Cristo me ha traido a este mismo momento en mi vida, y nunca me a ha fallado. Este conocimiento me humilla y me da esperanza para seguir adelante.

Talk: Perfect in Christ

 Perfection in Christ

August 28, 2022

As I was pondering how to start my talk today, my mind somewhat randomly came to a phrase in my patriarchal blessing, which I think will be okay to share here. I am cautioned that at times Satan will attempt to bruise my heels and lead me astray. In the scriptures we read that Satan will have power to bruise our heels here in mortality, and I wondered what that really meant. So I Iooked up what it means to have a bruised heel, and Dr. Kenworthy over there confirmed that my internet search didn’t lead me too far astray, even if my medical terminology was incorrect. 

A bruised heel happens when the fat pad in your heel, which cushions the heel bone, is compressed and displaced, allowing the bone to bruise. 

It is caused by repetitive impact on the heel, especially from repetitive jumping or long-distance running (which happens to be my favorite sport. Not that I run that far these days, but if I’m going to do something, it’s usually running). Contributing factors are poor footwear and training errors, like increasing your training too far, too fast, or changing the surface you run on or your footwear you use without time to adapt. In short, it is an overuse injury.

I know this would have zero meaning to most people from a spiritual standpoint, but when I read that I caught my breath and had to stop for a minute, because I knew that this phrase was put there for a reason, for me. The Lord wanted to remind me right now that He knows me, and a main vulnerability to my spiritual well-being is overuse fatigue--expecting myself to be able to do more and be more right now, and being discouraged when I don’t measure up. 

But how do we reconcile all of the counsel we get to do better with the plain fact that we can’t do it all? This is something that I feel that the Lord has been teaching me over and over and over again. (Apparently I am not just a perfectionist, I am a stubborn perfectionist. But really, it’s something I’ve always struggled with)

In the past I have thought that if I was obedient enough I could do everything. Aren’t we promised that keeping the commandments will mean that we can run and not be weary and walk and not faint? It’s funny, given how much of my life I have spent running, how long it took me to actually learn about what all these scripture references to running mean in practice. We need to remember that the kind of stamina needed to run without becoming weary is only ever achieved by long, slow training, always with an eye to pacing. The Lord may ask me to run a marathon, but he doesn’t expect me to up and do it at World Championship pace right this second. Along that route, I need periods of slow runs, sprint and medley workouts to build speed, and lots of nourishment and rest.

I also like to pause when I hear the word, “shall.” This one came up a lot in my legal writing class way back when, because it really has multiple meanings. It can express what will happen, but it can also express a command. So commandment keeping will make it so that we will be able to run and not be weary, but if it’s a commandment as well as a promise, we need to do the practical things that keep us from getting weary: pacing ourselves, taking care of ourselves, making sure our shoes don’t get worn out and our form is proper, and sometimes taking a break or riding a bike or swimming instead of running at at all. Scriptures like Mosiah 4:27 explain how to do this: “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.” The running really isn’t the important part here: it’s the diligence. And we enable ourselves to be consistent and diligent when we give ourselves a sustainable pace.

If you haven’t had enough misinterpreted scriptural running analogies, then I’m sorry but I’m on a roll so we are going to keep going. We often talk about running a race with respect to living the Gospel, and there is a lot we can learn from this analogy that is useful. Hebrews 12 encourages us to “lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” But I think this idea also can get us off track if we don’t understand the limits of the metaphor. The main characteristic of a race is competition. But living the Gospel, whose purpose is to redeem the whole human family, should be anything but a competition.

The girls on my high school cross-country team were all Christian, and our team scripture became 1 Corinthians 9:24: “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth a prize? So run, that ye may obtain. Great scripture, and it inspired me to run my hardest and try my best in more than just running. But 16-year-old me did not take time to understand the context of the rest of Paul’s message here. He continues: “And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things.” Oh, right there he is saying that we need to moderate our efforts and keep balance! Not just run flat out without stopping. “Now they (meaning the runners in a race) do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.” Right there Paul is saying that he is actually contrasting living the gospel with running a race to point out how they are different. “I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air.” 

As we run our race with temperance, we should remember that the eternal race isn’t at all about how ahead or behind we perceive ourselves to be compared to the people around us or reaching a certain righteousness index. Certainly as we follow Christ He will help us to overcome sins and temptations, but the important part really isn’t the progress metric, but the process itself. Because the moment we think that we don’t need Christ desperately, or don’t need HIm as much as other people, we are right back at the starting line. This reminds me of the Nephites who were there when Christ appeared. They heard a voice, and the first two times they didn’t understand it because they looked around at each other to try to figure out what was happening. It wasn’t until the third time that they looked steadfastly to heaven, and not to each other, that they were able to understand what the Lord had to say to them.

As I wrote about competition and comparison, in my mind's eye I saw our ward as my high school track practice, where lots of different athletes of different abilities are training. Some are jogging slowly, some are doing sprints, some are walking or stretching. They all have different abilities and strengths. They are all training for different events. Some are practicing shot put or pole vault. Some, like me at some points, are in the field house icing their shins or riding a stationary bike because they, shockingly, have an overuse injury. And I felt the love of the Savior, who would look on each of those athletes that He loves and not care an ounce what mistakes they had made or what struggles they had or what place they came in at the last meet. Knowling all these things, He would only care that they were there showing up, willing to be coached and stretched, willing to try because they trust HIm and trust in the process He has laid out for each of them, and they want to do their best.

I think that’s why another phrase has been coming back to me for the last several months: the Lord’s course is “one eternal round.” Like that track where we can all train and help one another, remembering as Paul did that worldly races are about winning but eternal races aren’t. 

I think it’s so interesting that we regularly have images of the Lord being on a straight path but also being on a round one. In Alma 7 he says:

“For I perceive that ye are in the paths of righteousness; I perceive that ye are in the path which leads to the kingdom of God; yea, I perceive that ye are making his paths straight.

“I perceive that it has been made known unto you, by the testimony of his word, that he cannot walk in crooked paths; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong; therefore, his course is one eternal round.”

The path is straight because it is narrow and doesn’t vary, but it’s round because the Lord is always on the right and never going to the left (or to what is wrong). When it comes to my analogy we may need to run the track backwards so we will always be turning right, but otherwise, I think the metaphor holds. And I think it’s safe to say that if you feel like you are running in circles and your efforts aren’t taking you as far as you might like, you are still on the Lord’s path. If you make the same mistakes you’ve made before but you get up and try again, you are still on the Lord’s path. And it doesn’t matter where on that track you are as long as you are trying to listen to His voice and do what He asks. It just matters that you are there trying, and supporting the other people that are there training with you.

In my effort to run and not be weary, for the last good while I have been slowly going through the Book of Mormon again, trying to take time and to open myself up to what the Lord might teach me, not putting too much pressure on myself to finish a certain study plan or have a remarkable insight every time. I think it was no coincidence that when I received this assignment I had been working my way through Christ’s teachings to the Nephites in 3 Nephi for a week or so.

Then, what do you know, I open up the talk that Bishop Smith suggested I reference for this talk and immediately Elder Holland brought up those very passages! He said:

“The Sermon on the Mount begins with soothing, gentle beatitudes, but in the verses that follow, we are told--among other things--not only not to kill but also not even to be angry. We are told not only not to commit adultery but also not even to have impure thoughts. To those who ask for it, we are to give our coat and then give our cloak also. We are to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and do good to them who hate us.

He continues, “If that is your morning scripture study, and after reading just that far you are pretty certain you are not going to get good marks on your gospel report card, then the final commandment in the chain is sure to finish the job: ‘Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father…in heaven is perfect.’ With that concluding imperative, we want to go back to bed and pull the covers over our head. Such celestial goals seem beyond our reach. Yet surely the Lord would never give us a commandment He knew we could not keep.”

Part of the problem that Elder Holland alludes to here comes from the fact that the connotations of the word “perfect” in  modern English are different from the original meaning in the scriptures. And now we get to go back to the tried-and-true, stereotypical way to start a talk:

The dictionary defines the word perfect as: 

1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type:

2. excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement:

3. Unblemished, faultless, flawless

If we apply this definition to Jesus’ injunction, we are likely to despair. No matter how much I try and how much I trust and how much I repent, I don’t see a way for me to conform absolutely to the measure of Christ, to get to the point that I can’t make any theoretical improvement, or to be faultless or flawless. Just ask my boys how many times in a week I have to apologize to them because I reacted poorly to something. But despair is a tool of Satan, not God. Despair is how I’m prone to being led astray, thinking that I just can’t measure up and so it’s less painful not to try. We can similarly be led astray if we expect that righteousness should make others free from error too. If we expect righteousness to mean perfectionism, then every leader and prophet from the beginning of time down to Russell M. Nelson will be a disappointment. And if the prophets can’t be perfect, and we can’t be perfect, what’s the point? This is why Satan wants so badly for us to spend our time tearing ourselves and others down, using a measuring stick that isn’t scaled for grace and mercy and the pure love of Christ. 

Thankfully, this is not what Christ asks of us. President Nelson has taught that the word used in Matthew 5 is the Greek teleios, meaning complete. Its prefix, tele-, as in telephone or telegram, indicates something far off. Its verb form means to complete or to reach a distant end or goal. (CR Oct 1995, “Perfection Pending”)

This definition of perfection is so much more hopeful to me. It’s something I can work toward, little by little, with help; not something I have to demonstrate now to be worthy. It causes me to look up at the goal instead of down on myself. 

And I think that is a huge key to becoming perfect in Christ. It’s looking to Him instead of looking to our own strength and wisdom and understanding. It’s trusting that even though the gap between our expectations and our performance seems wide, He can use us for His purposes and, line upon line, make us like He is.

Back to Elder Holland’s talk, which is from October 2017 for anyone who would like to read it:

“‘Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him,...,’ Moroni pleads. “Love God with all your might, mind and strength, then … by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.’ Our only hope for true perfection is in receiving it as a gift from heaven--we can’t ‘earn’ it. Thus, the grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism.” 

I love to think about what it means to receive the gift of perfection from Christ like Elder Holland says rather than trying to earn it myself. When I think about the magnitude of that gift, I’m inspired to obey Him out of love and to give what I can to His other children. I don’t excuse my sins and mistakes, but I can forgive myself for them and resolve to keep on trying. That’s the difference between guilt vs. shame, between grace vs. perfectionism, and really between what Christ tells us about ourselves vs. what the adversary wants us to believe. We are supposed to have weakness so that Christ can mold us into the people He needs us to be.

So going back to those “soothing, gentle beatitudes” that Christ gives before asking us to live a higher, more demanding law, I see now why it was so important that they be given first. If we come up against the demands of the law and feel broken or weak, if we sin and we mourn and we feel like the poorest in spirit, then the law is having its proper effect on us: it has shown us our need for Christ. Remember the people who He blesses are poor, broken, meek, hungry, thirsty, and persecuted. These aren’t things we are trying to avoid, as we do in a worldly sense. These are things we are seeking after, because it’s not so much the achievements as the continual turning to HIm that He is looking for. It’s the broken heart that He wants, because it’s a broken heart that can let Him in to stretch and grow and change. “And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” (3 Nephi 9:20) Then if we turn to Him we will be blessed as He described!

 

Elder Holland put it this way:  “Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete--which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.”

With that in mind, my personal invitation for all of us is that we press forward toward perfection in the sense that we press forward toward Christ. We keep looking to Him, trying to do what He asks us with the understanding that He’ll provide the strength and the light and He can make our small and imperfect offerings able to accomplish His great work.

We can “be not weary in well-doing, for [we] are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.” (D&C 64:33–34) Not perfection; desire and willingness. 

“[We] are not able to abide the presence of God now, neither the ministering of angels; wherefore, continue in patience until [we] are perfected.” (D&C 67:13)

We follow the counsel to “not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided…; but be diligent unto the end.” (D&C 10:3)

As Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the Quorum of the Twelve taught:

“As we seek new and holier ways to love God and help us and others prepare to meet Him, we remember that perfection is in Christ, not in ourselves or in the perfectionism of the world.

“God’s invitations are full of love and possibility because Jesus Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life.” To those who feel burdened, He invites, “Come unto me,” and to those who come to Him, He promises, “I will give you rest.” “Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, … love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.”

I leave that invitation and my testimony that Jesus is the Christ, who took all of our sins and weaknesses and infirmities upon Himself so that He can make us whole, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Broken Hearted

Sunday, September 20, 2020

It is good to be back with you. I thought we would stay home a bit longer, but after a lot of discussion with John we ultimately decided that our 8-year-old Luke’s baptism day would be a good day to come back. We no sooner made this decision, than John mentioned that he needed speakers for today and I hadn’t spoken in Sacrament Meeting in quite some time. I feel his motives were suspect but I’ll give the talk anyway. I was actually supposed to speak the first week that church was cancelled because of COVID-19, so maybe me finally speaking now will break the curse! Who knows? Regardless, I hope that I can share something meaningful with you today.

A while back John and I were reading the talk by Elder Renlund that became the basis for today’s topic, and this quote stuck with him so much that he texted it to himself from my phone so he wouldn’t lose it: “remember, joyfully and reverently, that the Savior loves to restore what you cannot restore; He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted upon you; and He loves to permanently heal even shattered hearts.”

As I have been studying Come, Follow Me and pondering on how the Savior mends our broken hearts, I have found myself circling around a bit of a paradox in my mind. There are some scriptures that speak of the Lord’s ability to mend or bind up broken hearts:

Isaiah 61:1–The ​​​Spirit​ of the Lord ​​​​​God​​​ ​is​ upon me; because the ​​Lord​​ hath ​​​anointed​ me to ​​​preach​ ​​​good tidings​ unto the ​​​meek​; he hath sent me to ​​​bind​ up the brokenhearted, to ​​​proclaim​ ​​​liberty​ to the ​​​captives​, and the opening of the ​​​prison​ to ​them that are​ bound;

But as I searched I found that the vast majority of the scriptures on the topic speak of a broken heart as an offering to the Lord or a prerequisite for the companionship of His Spirit, as in this scripture from this week’s reading in the Book of Mormon. 

3 Nephi 9:20–And ye shall offer for a ​​​sacrifice​ unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I ​​​baptize​ with fire and with the Holy Ghost.

It got me wondering how these metaphors relate to one another and what that means for applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my life. As I thought about this, two experiences came to mind.

The first was probably the most dramatic and trying experience of my life. Shortly after my 18th birthday, and this next part will date me quite a bit, our family received a fax that changed my life forever. At the time my dad had been working for his mother and step-father’s company in Japan, and was traveling back and forth between Tokyo and our home in the Central Coast of California. This time we hadn’t heard much from him after he arrived, and assumed things were busy at the office. But a few days later my sister and I found a hand-written fax on our machine with a little picture of an ambulance drawn on top. We couldn’t read Japanese so we didn’t know what it said, but I still remember that little drawing. We called my mom who quickly got in contact with the office in Japan, and it turns out my dad had suffered a stroke a few days previous and was in the hospital. My grandmother hadn’t told us, out of some mixture of fear and guilt and distress, but one of the employees at their small family company felt we should know and sent the message. We were assured that my dad was stable, and my mom and brother got on a plane as soon as they could to go be with him.

The next two days were full of assurances from doctors and a promising blessing given by the president of the Tokyo South Mission. Plans were made for physical therapy, for my mom and brother to stay with my Dad in Japan until he could travel home, and for my sister and I to go see him as soon as we could arrange passport renewals. But the next night my father had another stroke and passed away.

I remember how crushed I was to find out, and how completely surreal it was. I remember having to tell my sister and her throwing her pager across the room in anger and despair (again I’m telling my age here). But even more I remember that night as I knelt on my bed for what must have been an hour or two or more. I have never been good about kneeling and having long, formal prayer conversations; I am forgetful and so I tend to say a lot of little prayers throughout the day, right when I am thinking of whatever it is that I need to ask for or thank my Father for. But that night I felt I absolutely had to have it out with Heavenly Father, however long it took. I had to know if my Dad really wasn’t gone forever. I had to know if I would see him again, and if the course I was setting for the rest of my life was the right one. I had to keep reaching until I received that consolation because otherwise I didn’t know how I could face the next day and all the ensuing ones. And eventually that night I did know. My heart was bound up in peace, and I knew it would be okay, even if I knew nothing else. And little by little, from that moment, my broken heart was mended, and while the pain of losing my Dad will never be completely gone, I was able to feel whole because of that peace and those assurances. I know that the Savior can hold us and heal our hearts when mortality brings its inevitable heartbreaks, because He suffered all these and more so that He would know how to help us.

Fast forward to my other experience, which started just over 11½  years ago and will continue the next 18 years and probably the rest of my life. That experience, or combination of experiences, is motherhood. And while motherhood has been beautiful and soul-enriching experience that has brought me so much love and joy, and of course my six boys,  it has also been the most heart-breaking experience I have had. Losing my dad was something external that happened, and my heart broke from sadness—the kind of heartbreak we usually talk about in the world, where we lose something and we grieve the loss. But it is possibly even more heartbreaking to me to daily come up against my own weakness and to fail my boys on a regular basis. Every time I lose my patience or my temper and wound their little hearts, mine breaks. I find myself constantly forgetting that, and least until they are 8, they are the perfect ones and I am here to teach and coach them and learn with them, not to control or force them to obey me and walk the path I would choose for them. As a result I spend many nights asking forgiveness for the same things and wondering if I will ever feel like I’m doing it right or if I’ll always be broken.

This is where that second type of scripture I mentioned has brought me hope. Perhaps I am broken-hearted because of my failings, but that broken heart means that the Savior can enter. In fact, He requires it of us, because none of us is perfect, and that sorrow, if yielded up to God, brings us to Him. All of us are broken—every one of us on this earth—and we can choose to build a wall of shame or of pride to hide our brokenness, or we can be vulnerable and offer up our heart so that His light can penetrate. Being vulnerable is against the nature of the natural man, and takes humility and spiritual work to achieve. It requires that we constantly keep our focus on removing the beams from our own eyes, so to speak.

In October 2015 General Conference, Sister Neill Marriot of the Young Women’s General Presidency put it this way:

True worship begins when our hearts are right before the Father and the Son. What is our heart condition today? Paradoxically, in order to have a healed and faithful heart, we must first allow it to break before the Lord. “Ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit,” the lord declares. The result of sacrificing our heart, or our will, to the Lord is that we receive the spiritual guidance we need. 

With a growing understanding of the Lord’s grace and mercy, we will find that our self-willed hearts begin to crack and break in gratitude. Then we reach for Him, yearning to yoke ourselves to the Only Begotten Son of God. In our broken-hearted reaching and yoking, we receive new hope and fresh guidance through the Holy Ghost.

In short, the only way the Lord can heal my broken heart is if I offer it up to Him, trusting that He will make it whole this time and every other time, day after day, until at some point in an eternity I can’t now see my heart will be one with His. I don’t have to do the work of healing on my own, but I do need to do the work of opening my heart to Him and submitting to His will. That may mean that I follow a prompting to change a behavior or to offer an apology. It may also require me to consider a medical or psychological intervention, or to ask for and accept help. If my heart is truly broken, I’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to facilitate the healing I’m asking for. 

In October 2013 General Conference, Elder Randy D. Funk shared this:

The Lord instructs His servants to be humble because the process of being made whole spiritually begins with a broken heart. Think of the good that comes from broken things: Soil is broken to plant wheat. Wheat is broken to make bread. Bread is broken to become the emblems of the sacrament. When one who is repentant partakes of the sacrament with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, he or she becomes whole. As we repent and become whole through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we have much more to offer the Savior as we serve Him. “Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him.”

We can safely offer our whole souls and hearts to Him because He knows how to succor us. Like that sacrament bread, He was broken for us. We can’t imagine how broken He felt in those moments, but it was enough that He cried out for the pain to be taken away if possible, and later to question why His Father had left Him. He understands when we likewise feel alone with our heavy burdens and broken hearts, but because of His gift we don’t have to carry our burdens alone. 

Elder Funk continues:

If you are burdened by sin and need to repent, please do so immediately. When the Savior healed those who were afflicted, He often invited them to rise up. The scriptures record that they did so straightway, or immediately. To be healed of your spiritual afflictions, please accept His invitation to rise up. Without delay, talk to your bishop,...and begin the process of repentance now.

The healing power of the Atonement will bring peace to your soul and enable you to feel the Holy Spirit. The Savior’s sacrifice is beyond measure, but our sins, though numerous and serious, may be counted and confessed, forsaken and forgiven. “And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!”

I know that the Lord has forgiven me and healed even my self-inflicted wounds, and I trust that He will also cover the wounds I have inflicted on others because of my failings. I still get discouraged regularly, and still wonder if I’ll ever close the gap between what I am and what I know I should be. When I spend time focused on that gap, as I tend to do, I get depressed and exhausted. But when I shift my focus to the Savior and bare my heart to Him, He fills that gap and forgives me time after time. And if I am broken, He has asked me to be.

If you find yourself right now broken-hearted and lacking hope, please let these words sink into your heart.

President Benson:

The Lord is pleased with every effort, even the tiny, daily ones in which we strive to be more like Him. Though we may see that we have far to go on the road to perfection, we must not give up hope.

Elder Anderson, Wounded, October 2018:

Never give up—however deep the wounds of your soul, whatever their source, wherever or whenever they happen, and however short or long they persist, you are not meant to perish spiritually. You are meant to survive spiritually and blossom in your faith and trust in God.

God did not create our spirits to be independent of Him. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, through the incalculable gift of His Atonement, not only saves us from death and offers us, through repentance, forgiveness for our sins, but He also stands ready to save us from the sorrows and pains of our wounded souls.

The Good Samaritan

The Savior is our Good Samaritan, sent “to heal the brokenhearted.” He comes to us when others pass us by. With compassion, He places His healing balm on our wounds and binds them up. He carries us. He cares for us. He bids us, “Come unto me … and I shall heal [you].”

“And [Jesus] shall … [suffer] pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; … that … he [might] take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people … [taking upon Himself our] infirmities, [being] filled with mercy.”

If you find that you aren’t brokenhearted, I’d invite you to follow Sister Marriott’s counsel that I shared earlier, and reflect on the incomprehensible grace and mercy of Jesus Christ and allow that to break your heart. Ask, “what lack I yet?” and be willing to hear the response. It’s something I need to do more often, and I avoid it too often because it’s hard to face more of my own failings. But failing in mortality doesn’t make us failures. Failing in mortality, to one degree or another, is why we are here, because failing shows us where we can learn and where we can rely on the Savior. It’s what opens the opportunity for us to repent and to come to know Him in the process. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

I testify that He suffered all things and died for us, and that He lives again. I don’t know everything, but I do know that He can bind up our broken hearts and give us His peace.

Shame, Guilt, and Gospel

I went through a Brene Brown kick a while back where I listened to several of her audiobooks in a row. (I tend to do that with different authors.) She has so much good insight into the destructive power of shame in our lives and the gifts of vulnerability and refusing to hide when shame tells us to.

A key distinction that she and others in the psychotherapy world make is the difference between shame and guilt. Shame tells us that we are inherently flawed, and unworthy, and that we should shrink, hide, or disappear. It makes our sins and mistakes mean that we are not enough. Guilt, on the other hand, is a signal that our actions are out of alignment with who we are and our values, and that something needs to change. Guilt, essentially, leads to self-knowledge that we can use to repent. I would posit that guilt can be the godly sorrow mentioned in the scriptures, but shame cannot.

As I was reading the account of Lehi's vision this time around, I got stuck on the phrase, "And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed." (1 Nephi 8:25) It seems crazy that just after partaking of this most joyful fruit, the people could be shamed by the bullies in the great and spacious building. "And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost." (v. 28) It made me wonder in what ways shame might be hindering my progress in the Gospel.

One way that I know I have dropped the fruit, so to speak, is in my failure to share the Gospel with others. Last week I read the book The Power of Everyday Missionaries by Clay Christiansen, and it really laid out how the world convinces most of us in the Church that we can't and shouldn't share the Gospel all the time. And even knowing this, I am not sure I can open my mouth and say what I know I should. It seems so risky for some reason even though the only thing I have to lose is possibly the good opinion of others. That comes from shame--feeling like I need to hide who I am or reveal the Gospel only to those I know are interested. I plan to really pray and work on this because I realized just how much I am missing by not obeying that commandment and partaking of that fruit.

I looked for other references to shame in the Book of Mormon, and noticed this pattern: shame teaches us to hide, and the Lord says that the wicked will be ashamed in the presence of God. The righteous are instructed to put shame off and refuse to hide.

• Jacob 2:6, 6:9; Alma 12:15 - Wickedness will lead to feeling shame in the presence of God. The wicked will wish they could hide from Him because of their knowledge of their sins.
• 2 Nephi 7:5/Isaiah 50:6 - "I hid not my face from shame and spitting." The Lord was temped with shame just as we are, but he refused to hide. We follow Him when we stay in the light and refuse to hide, whether it be hiding what we know and avoiding the world's scorn or hiding our own sins from the Lord and from the world.
• 2 Nephi 9:18 - Saints who "despise the shame of [the world] shall inherit the Kingdom.
• Jacob 1:8 - men should bear the shame of the world, suffering Christ's cross. In this case, I don't think bear means to internalize it or accept it; I think it means not to hide from it or to turn inward because of it. To shake it off and keep living the Gospel out loud.
• 3 Nephi 22:4 - we shouldn't be confounded, "for thou shalt not be put to shame, shalt forget the shame of thy youth."

My conclusion was this: If we apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ to our lives, we should shed shame. The world will try to shame us, but discipleship requires us to disregard that shame. It requires us to be vulnerable in both our public and private life, and willing to lay bare our true selves. That means refusing to hide who we are and refusing to hide from our sins.

Satan will try to convince us when we fail that we are inherently incapable of change and of success, so we shouldn't try; we can't change so the only way forward is to shrink of God's presence, to hide our sins and weaknesses or to justify them in comparison and judgment of others around us. At its core this concept is really very typical of Lucifer, who has always attacked the agency of man. If we are inherently incapable of obedience, then we do not have the agency to choose it. This is not of God, and is a lie. Because of Christ's Atonement, we can choose to change and be made whole in Him, regardless of how many times we fail, as long as we are willing to admit our sins, turn to Him, and just keep trying.

So I'll keep trying to put off shame and to put on the armor of God--to choose to lay bare my sins before Him daily and to trust that He can make me more than I am. I'll choose to live and speak the Gospel more boldly and to be the same person at home, work, and play that I am in church. And when I fall short, that will be okay too.