Ammon and Great Missionary Work

 I have had plenty of lessons extolling Ammon as a missionary. And he was a great missionary. Most of  those focused on how he was willing to serve, how he was brave, and how God protected him and gave him power. All important things, but today my studies reminded me how normal Ammon was. And sometimes I need that because I don't see myself in heroes, but I do see myself in people who are trying, and don't really know what they are doing, but make an awkward attempt anyway. 

Let's recap Ammon's encounter with King Lamoni and see where I can relate.

Ammon arrives and is immediately arrested and brought before the king to see how he should be disposed of. The king asks if he desires to live among his people and Ammon says yes and reveals that he really doesn't know the long-term plan and may stay there forever for all he knows. 

Moving forward even though I don't have my future figured out? Been there, done that, doing that.

The king is happy with this answer and offers Ammon his daughter for a wife. Ammon declines and asks to be a servant. 

Attempt to tactfully dodge romantic advances that don't lead where I want to go? Did that a couple of times. 

Avoid awkwardness by being excessively helpful? Yes and yes.

Next Ammon goes out to work with the king's servants. Bad guys come and scatter the flocks, the servants melt down because they don't want to get killed, and Ammon sees an opportunity to show his power and win them over. 

Again with the excessive helpfulness. Right up my alley.

He helps them gather the sheep back together, but the bad guys are relentless and come back for more. Epic battle ensues in which Ammon kills six with his sling, then disarms his other attackers more literally than I like to imagine. 

This is the part that is usually emphasized in this story, and with which I relate 0%. I would not be cutting off any arms unless the Spirit straight up took over my brain and my body. I am not wired for blood and guts and certainly not for cutting off anyone's arms.

They head back to the king's complex and the rest of the guys bring back the loose arms. They take them to show the king while Ammon goes on to the next task they were supposed to do.

Avoiding attention? Not wanting to brag when I accomplished something that clearly wasn't my own strength? Being traumatized for harming people when I was trying to do what's right? Not wanting to show my face until my jobs are done? Yuppers.

Ammon finishes getting the king's horses ready and then goes back to report. When he walks in he can see that the king is looking troubled. Perhaps Ammon recalls how easily the king could call for his execution; he did just kill six of the king's subjects and severely maim several more. He was about to turn tail and back right out of that room when one of the servant addresses him with a title of high honor and asks him to stay.

Wanting to cut and run when I think someone may be mad at me? Most definitely yes.

Ammon gets bold and asks the king what he can do for him. And then he waits FOR AN HOUR. He stands there awkwardly for an hour.

This may be the thing I can relate to most of all. The pressure is on, I feel like I need to say something or explain myself or connect, and nothing. No words, brain racing and frozen at the same time.

After an hour Ammon asks again with no response, and THEN he is filled with the Spirit, at which time he asks the very obvious question of whether the king is troubled because he had just singlehandedly and superhumanly defended the king's flocks and servants. He is like, "What's so impressive about that? I'm just a man." And in this kind of obvious answer the Spirit speaks through him to King Lamoni, helps the latter articulate the real questions he has, and stops his brain paralysis.

Fumbling through just opening my mouth to say what the Lord might want me to say, feeling like maybe that didn't make any sense at all because I am really nothing, but somehow the Spirit speaks through that mess anyway? Exactly how I feel whenever I teach.

Ammon tells the king that he wants to serve him, and "whatsoever thou desirest which is right, that will I do."

Bonding through service? My go-to. The only way I know how to make friends and relate to people. I just want to do things for them and make them feel comfortable with me.

Ammon proceeds to answer the king's questions on the condition that the king will believe what Ammon says.

Not wanting to put myself out there if the person will reject the sacred thing I have to share? Yes yes yes.

I could go on but this covers the bulk of it. Of course I don't really know all of Ammon's personality, and I don't mean at all to downplay what a brave and bold missionary he was, but it is such a comfort to me to imagine these very human people feeling their way along in the work of the Lord and trusting that He will come through even when they don't know how that will all work out. That is something I feel like I can do for the cause, even if I'll never raise a sword in defense of the cause. So maybe I can liken Ammon's story to me after all.

Anna Harriette Leonowens on World Religions

From The English Governess at the Siamese Court, by Anna Harriette Leonowens, p. 122:

We are prone to ignore or to condemn that which we do not clearly understand; and thus it is, and on no better ground, that we deny that there are influences in the religions of the East to render their followers wiser, nobler, purer. And yet no one of respectable intelligence will question that there have been, in all ages, individual pagans who, by the simplicity of their doctrine and the purity of their practice, have approached very nearly to the perfection of the Christian graces; and that they were, if not so much the better for the religion they had, at least far, far better than if they had had no religion at all. It is not, however, in human nature to approve and admire any course of life without inquiring into the spirit of the law that regulates it. Nor may it suffice that the spirit is there, if not likewise the letter,--that is to say, the practice. The best doctrine may become the worst, if imperfectly understood, erroneously interpreted, or superstitiously followed. 

And from p. 124:

Many have missed seeing what is true and wise in the doctrine of Buddha because they preferred to observe it from the standpoint and in the attitude of an antagonist, rather than of an inquirer. To understand aright the earnest creed and hope of any man, one must be at least sympathetically en rapport with him,--must be willing to feel, and to confess within one's self, the germs of those errors whose growth seems so rank in him. In the humble spirit of this fellowship of fallibility let us draw as near as we may to the hearts of these devotees and the heart of their mystery.

Elder Scott on Keeping Sight of God's Objectives

I need to remember this all the time!

God’s purpose is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” That is fundamental to all we do. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in things that we find fascinating or become so consumed by mundane responsibilities that we lose sight of God’s objectives. As you consistently focus your life on the most basic principles, you will gain an understanding of what you are to do, and you will produce more fruit for the Lord and more happiness for yourself.

-Elder Richard G. Scott, "I Have Given You an Example," April 2014 General Conference

A Portion of that Spirit

I love how new things can strike me each time I read the scriptures, no matter that I've lost track of how many times I've read this portion of the Book of Mormon. Today I was really struck by how Ammon describes the gift and power of the Holy Ghost that he had as a missionary:

I am called by his Holy Spirit to teach these things unto this people, that they may be brought to a knowledge of that which is just and true;

 And a portion of that Spirit dwelleth in me, which giveth me knowledge, and also power according to my faith and desires which are in God.

-Alma 18:34-35

I do remember regularly that I have the Gift of the Holy Ghost and recognize it as it guides and teaches me, but it is so powerful to think that truly a portion of the Spirit of God dwells in me. I needn't be so sheepish about sharing what I know or acting on any good and uplifting thought that comes to me, because, as Ammon says, I have power according to those desires which are in God and according to my faith in Him. It is an amazing, amazing gift that I sadly take for granted more often than not.

Put in Trust.

Today's scripture:

But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts."  -1 Thessalonians 2:4

At first I was mostly thinking about what a privilege it is to have the Gospel, and how I am silly about being apprehensive sharing it with others. But as I typed, I started thinking about what it means to be put in trust. In legal terms, a trust is a mechanism for controlling the distribution and transfer of property. If I were to put my house in trust, for example, I would transfer ownership to a trustee, who would have a fiduciary duty to distribute the income from the house to my designated beneficiaries. (I realize this is very simplistic; it has been five years since I took Trusts class, and I haven't looked at one since then.) The trust is governed by the rules set up at its creation.

In that sense, any and all of us who are called to the work are trustees of God's Kingdom upon the earth. We are given a stewardship, and all of the attendant knowledge, revelations, and blessings, but we also have a fiduciary duty to distribute the fruits of the Gospel to those designated by our Trustor, Jesus Christ (i.e. to all nations, kindreds, tongues, and peoples). And since anyone who desires to serve God is called to the work (D&C 4:3), that means every single member of the Church who desires to serve is a trustee of the Kingdom. No one is given the Gospel of Jesus Christ only for their own benefit. In fact, when we sign onto the deal, we covenant to "keep His commandments," to "bear one another's burdens," to "comfort those who stand in need of comfort," and to "stand as a witness of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places." (D&C 20:77, Mosiah 18:8-9) Those are the fiduciary duties we have as Trustees of His Kingdom, and more may be added upon us as we accept callings within the Priesthood and Auxiliary organizations of the Church.

So not only does God trust me with His Kingdom, he has given it to me in trust, with the solemn duty to share it with all of His children who will listen. The trial of my heart will be whether I carry out my duty or give in to the pressure to "please men" instead of God.

Caregiving and Friends

I just watched this talk by President Eyring while I was folding laundry:

The Caregiver, General Relief Society Meeting October 2012

And a friend of mine from high school recently wrote this about mommyhood and making/being friends:

On Being a Good Friend

Both of them got me thinking tonight. I am super guilty of being a bad friend/not making friends. I am guilty of talking more than listening. I am guilty of neglecting even the people in my stewardship because I am too wrapped up in being self-conscious, too frustrated with kids, too concerned with the state of my house or nap schedules or even just that it is a pain to get my kids into shoes and strap them in the car.

Some of the scaling back is okay and needed in this season of my life, but some of it has become a layer of excuses for not engaging the way I should, for not investing myself in others, for not reaching out and loving selflessly because, let's face it, I'm overwhelmed as is and we'll be leaving soon anyway.

Satan is so tricky! Always trying to convince me that extending my love to others will increase my load rather than lightening it. Always trying to tell me that I will be happier as a hermit because it is easier, as if ease were a desirable objective in and of itself. I didn't have kids because it's easy, why should I keep us all cooped up in the house out of selfishness because that is easy? And guess what!? It actually isn't easier because we are all happier when we don't fall into that rut!

So I have been dragging myself out of the house. Getting dressed so I won't be embarrassed to see people. Taking my kids to the park and playing with them to boot. Visiting my sister and her kids who live 20 minutes from here but we would go weeks without seeing. Writing sincere notes, chatting, and calling people when I think about them. Visiting the sisters I am called to visit and love. And each time I am so happy! I am happy now just thinking of a couple of recent conversations! I know there is so much more I could be doing, but for now I am just working on opening myself up so that when opportunities come I can actually take them and enjoy them. There is a reason the Lord organizes His Church in communities; we are happier when we go outside ourselves, even if it is hard.

And incredible time to be a young woman.

I love this quote from this interview with Elaine S. Dalton, General Young Womens President:

This is an incredible time to be a young woman and a member of the Church. The young women have been preparing for this time. They are virtuous. They are worthy to receive and use their own limited-use temple recommend, they are taking the names of their ancestors to the temple, and they continue to participate in camp, Personal Progress, and class presidencies. The opportunity to serve a mission will be one more way that a young woman can spread the gospel of Jesus Christ, become an articulate advocate for the family, and assist in hastening the Lord’s work on the earth. It is indeed an honor to serve these precious daughters of God at this time. It is humbling. Heavenly Father loves and trusts His precious daughters, and now, as never before, is the time to flood the earth with their virtue, their strong spirits, and their light. They are worthy and prepared to serve the Lord. They are incredible. And they are changing the world.

It is an incredible time to be a young woman. I love that she points out how the young women have been preparing for this time, when they are so desperately needed. I am excited that more women will have the opportunity to serve missions. I am excited that this will increase the likelihood of my sons marrying return missionaries, as those women will have had some wonderful training in becoming, as Sister Dalton says, "articulate advocates" for the Gospel and the family. In this world, my children and their children will need that strength.

The gates of hell shall not prevail

From Revelations of the Restoration, p. 1029:

As used in scripture, hell has reference to the place of departed spirits (Bible Dictionary, 699). In some passages, though certainly not all, it refers to the place of torment or the abiding place of wicked spirits. The point of this passage of scripture is that the keys being promised to Peter will have power to open such gates. A gate prevails when it keeps something in our out of a particular place. For keys to prevail is for them to either lock or unlock such a gate so that people can enter or leave the gated area.

Those who obey the laws and ordinances of the gospel have the promise that the gates of hell shall not prevail against them (D&C 10:69, 17:8, 21:4-6; 98:22). This is generally thought to mean that they are safe from the threat of ending up in the place of torment when they die. it is also generally supposed that in the context of the present text it is saying that hell or the devil will not prevail against Peter. In face, what is being said is that Peter will have power to direct the ministering of the gospel in the world of the spirits and that he, and for that matter all faithful Saints acting under his direction, will have the power to move freely from one part of the spirit world to another.

Was your mind just blown? Mine was. Priesthood keys = ability to preach to and do ordinances for spirits in prison (i.e. hell) = gates of hell can't prevail against the work of the Church, which is saving souls. Here is more from Harold B. Lee in "Preparing to Meet the Lord," Improvement Era 68:122, Feb. 1965:

Because the keys of the priesthood which were restored to the Prophet Joseph Smith the gates of hell did not prevail against the church of Jesus Christ, notwithstanding the Great Apostasy. through the saving ordinances of the gospel, work could be done for the millions who died between the time of the Church of Jesus Christ inthe first century AD and the restored Church of Jesus Christ, AD 1830.

There is a vital responsibility given to him who holds the keys, all the keys that pertain to the kingdom, even the President of the Church in each dispensation. The Lord said that in a great revelatoin. To Peter, the Master said, "And I will give thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." (Matt. 16;19) He also said that the gates of hell should not prevail against Christ's Church. (see ibid. 16:18) Now, the gates of hell would have prevailed against the Lord's work if there hadn't been given the ordinances pertaining to the salvation of those who are dead. During those periods when the priesthood to perform the saving ordinances of the gospel was not upon the earth, there were millions who lived, many of whom were faithful souls. If there hadn't been a way by which the saving ordinances of the gospel could be performed for those who thus died without the knowledge of the gospel, the gates of hell would have prevailed against our Father's plan of salvation.

Declaring the Revelations of the Restoration

Proclaiming the truth according to the revelations and commandments which I have given you. The Church is charged with the responsibility to declare the message of the Restoration among those of every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. Here, the missionaries are reminded that they are to declare that message from the revelations given through the Prophet Joseph Smith. it is offensive to the Spirit when missionaries seek refuge and respectability on the Bible rather than declaring the message the lord gave for our day. The Book of Mormon is the perfect evidence that Joseph Smith is a prophet, not the book of Isaiah, Jeremiah, or Daniel. The testimony of Christ as found in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John is nothing short of marvelous, yet even their testimonies take on greater meaning when read by the light of modern revelation. While we value that which God spoke to the ancients, we treasure even more the knowledge that he has spoken again in our day, restored his priesthood, and given anew all the ordinances of salvation.

Ours is a testimony of a God who speaks, of prophets who live, of scripture penned in our day, of angels ministering in our midst. Indeed, "we believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth" (Article of Faith 7). Ours is a living Bible; it cannot be sealed; there can be no end to the revelations it contains. . . . There is a spiritual power known to missionaries who teach and testify of the Restoration, doing so from its revelations, that is not experienced by those who seek to justify our doctrines or give credence to our message by use of Bible texts.

Revelations of the Restoration, p. 508-9.

A really interesting statement. I don't think the direction of Preach My Gospel is quite the same, but that is part of continuing revelation too =). Still, I appreciate and agree with the sentiment behind it.

Vision of the Book of Mormon

I have a vision of homes alerted, of classes alive, and of pulpits aflame with the spirit of Book of Mormon messages.

I have a vision of home teachers and visiting teachers, ward and branch officers, and stake and mission leaders counseling our people out of the most correct of any book on earth--the Book of Mormon...

I have a vision of thousands of missionaries going into the mission field with hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon so that they might feed the needs of a spiritually famished world.

I have a vision of the whole Church getting nearer to God by abiding by the precepts of the Book of Mormon."

-Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, May 1986, pp. 5-6.

Having latter-day boys

I don't know when I came to know it, but for several years before I was married I knew that I would have a houseful of boys. I have joked that I like the idea of having boys, so then my husband has to do all the hard and awkward things, where with girls I would actually have to teach them how to be girls.

Last week's reduction in the age of eligibility for missionary service was another reminder of how much responsibility and trust I really feel in having boys to raise and teach. I know that they have an important work to do, and they are going to be required to prepare more fully in a shorter time than any past generation. While the focus of my high school career was getting ready for college and then seeing what would happen from there, they will need to be fully prepared for a lot of responsibility right away. There is a good chance that all of my boys will turn 18 before they graduate high school, so they could potentially be leaving immediately after graduation, then returning ready to jump in to college, seek out their eternal companions, and start family life. They will have to learn earlier than I did that the world doesn't have much of value to offer, and that they can't come unto Christ while remaining in it. They will need a depth and breadth of spiritual knowledge sufficient for the Spirit to be able to draw upon it to fill their mouths in the moment when they open it to teach. They will need maturity to go out on their own and trust in the Lord.

None of this is easily attained in high school, and I can only imagine that it has gotten worse since I have been there. I am inspired by the faith that our inspired leaders put in these boys and grateful for the call that makes it clear to them what their priorities should be from the beginning. I truly have a lot of work to do as the mom of boys! I have to prepare them to prepare the world for the Coming of the Savior. Quite a job!

An innumerable company of angels

It is a false notion, one not worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ, that only a few of God's children will be saved in the kingdom of God. in his vision of the redemption of the dead, President Joseph F. Smith saw an "innumerable company of the spirits of the just, who had been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality" (D&C 138:12). All these awaited a glorious resurrection....

When Christ said, "In my Father's house [kingdom] are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place of you" (John 14:2; see also Smith, History of the church, 4:184), he was not suggesting that there were various degrees of glory. At that moment he was speaking to the Twelve, and though one of them would betray him, he was giving them the assurance that there was room for them and as many as would believe on their word in his Father's kingdom. There is no boundary to the heavenly city, no limit that needs to be put on its population. There is room in his Father's kingdom for every one of his children, if they will but choose to abide there. Were this not the case, were it true that God did not desire to save all of his children, Christ said, "I would have told you" (John 14:2).

Revelations of the Restoration, p. 533

Follow-Up on D&C 4

A story of how Joseph Smith, Sr. applied the instructions he was given:

Joseph Smith, Sr., was filled with the testimony of the truth, and was always anxious to share it with others. He was almost sixty when he made the tedious journey back to [Stockholm--Potsdam] New York to carry the gospel to his father and mother, his sisters and brothers. Soon after his return he was imprisoned for a small debt of fourteen dollars, rather than deny the divinity of the Book of Mormon and be forgiven the debt! He was cast into a cell with a condemned murderer and left for four days without food. Later he was transferred to a prison workyard where he preached the gospel and converted two persons whom he later baptized. He was in prison a full month before his family was able to obtain his release!


E. Cecil McGavin, The Family of Joseph Smith [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1963], p. 68.

All of us who desire to serve the Lord have the same calling to the work of the gathering. How true will we be to it?

p.s. My posts may have a different flavor for a while; I found two huge binders of handouts from a beloved Institute director. I can't hang on to them forever, so I am studying with them as an aid and recording the things I want to save here, in my journals, and in my scriptures. I think they may be an enjoyable departure from my normal ramblings, and also help me to be more consistent in recording my studies. Time will tell!

Learning who we are

When I was going to Long Beach State, I went to a fireside in Irvine with Sheri Dew. I was amazed and inspired. The contents that stuck with me were very similar to this address that I ran across today while working on a guest post for a friend's blog. It brought back a flood of good feelings and inspiration.


http://ce.byu.edu/cw/womensconference/archive/2001/dew_sheri.html

Read. Bask. Enjoy. 

Sow, sow, sow.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

-Galatians 6:7-10

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

-Psalms 126:5-6 

...to him that soweth righteousness shall be a sure reward.

-Proverbs 11:18

Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall also ye reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward.

-Doctrine & Covenants 6:33

Considering thyself.

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

-Galatians 6:1

This takes me back a few (okay, several) years. I have always been blessed with really good friends. My patriarchal blessing counsels me to be selective and associate with people who have my same standards. In high school, about half of the people I spent my time with were LDS, and the other half might as well have been for the good influence they had on me (otherwise, they probably wouldn't have hung out with us). In college, pretty much every free moment was spent in a church-related activity (Institute, IWA, LDSSA, Relief Society, FHE, dances, callings, and other activities - they sure are good at keeping young adults too busy to get in trouble), and all of my friends were the same way. Then came a mission, then BYU Law (where I knew all of about 5 people who weren't members of the Church), then marriage and kids (which means I generally only hang out with moms from my wards).

Often I feel that the real challenge is finding someone who doesn't have my standards with whom I might share, and on occasion I've questioned whether I should try to find new circles of friends. But there is a danger in that, and I've seen it claim people I've known and loved. If you jump into a circle of people who are spiritually malnourished, it can turn into a black hole - sucking the light and life out of you. Thus Paul warns that we can't forget to maintain ourselves as we try to reach out. If, on the other hand, you draw someone with a spiritual hurt into a strong circle of good friends, they are easily uplifted and restored. I saw that multiple times in my group of friends at Long Beach State. They were amazing, and loved and lifted anyone who would come. So I suppose I want to have that again. It will require being in one place long enough to make like-minded friends (when will that happen?!?!), and then to reach out together to some who may need restoring. Kind of like this.