"One Thing Needful" by Patricia Holland

https://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/10/one-thing-needful-becoming-women-of-greater-faith-in-christ?lang=eng

Just so, so on point.

Feminism and the Church

A great treatise by Bruce and Marie Hafen.

Women, Feminism, and Gender

Alike in Glorious Potential

From President Eyring's talk in the last Women's Meeting:

What I didn’t know when I was young was that my Heavenly Father, your Heavenly Father, sees greater potential in His children than we or even our earthly mothers see in us. And whenever you move upward on that path toward your potential, it brings Him happiness. And you can feel His approval.

He sees that glorious potential in all of His daughters, wherever they are. Now, that puts a great responsibility on each of you. He expects you to treat every person you meet as a child of God. That is the reason He commands us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves and to forgive them. Your feelings of kindness and forgiveness toward others come as your divine inheritance from Him as His daughter. Each person you meet is His loved spiritual child.

As you feel of that great sisterhood, what we thought divides us falls away. . . . You are more alike as daughters of God than you are different.

"Women of Righteousness"

This talk from Elder Ballard is amazing, and amazingly timely, given in 2002. Satan is surely working on undermining the divine role of women in these latter days. It was hard to pick a favorite quote (seriously; read the whole thing!), but here is one:

Every sister in this Church who has made covenants with the Lord has a divine mandate to help save souls, to lead the women of the world, to strengthen the homes of Zion, and to build the kingdom of God. Sister Eliza R. Snow (1804–87), the second general president of the Relief Society, said that “every sister in this church should be a preacher of righteousness … because we have greater and higher privileges than any other females upon the face of the earth” (“Great Indignation Meeting,” Deseret Evening News, 15 Jan. 1870, 2).

Every sister who stands for truth and righteousness diminishes the influence of evil. Every sister who strengthens and protects her family is doing the work of God. Every sister who lives as a woman of God becomes a beacon for others to follow and plants seeds of righteous influence that will be harvested for decades to come. Every sister who makes and keeps sacred covenants becomes an instrument in the hands of God.

We just found out that our fourth baby will be another boy, and I hope that I can exemplify righteous womanhood to my sons and teach them to love, honor, respect, protect, care for, and follow the examples of the women around them.

The Typical Relief Society Sister: Who You Really Are

I love Sister Elaine Jack's perspective on comparisons and talents. So glad I came across this talk!

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1990/10/these-things-are-manifested-unto-us-plainly?lang=eng&query=support+husband

No greater heroine lives in today’s world than the woman who is quietly doing her part. Generally unsung, you live everywhere . . . You show your love for the Lord daily as you support husbands, nurture children, care for parents, benefit neighbors, serve in your schools, sit on community councils, and do much of the work of this world in and out of the home. No one is more impressive than you.

I promised to introduce you to the typical Relief Society sister.

The good news is that she actually does exist.

The better news is that she is wonderful.

The best news is that she’s you! And this is who you really are!

On the flip side, comparison can also lead us to be judgmental to others, not just to ourselves. Another more recent quote:

The adversary would have us be critical or judgmental of one another. He wants us to concentrate on our differences and compare ourselves to one another. . . .

[T]here is nothing that is worth us losing our compassion and sisterhood over. We just need to relax and rejoice in our divine differences. We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways. Then we can enjoy our sisterhood and our associations and begin to serve. . . .

If there are barriers, it is because we ourselves have created them. We must stop concentrating on our differences and look for what we have in common; then we can begin to realize our greatest potential and achieve the greatest good in this world.

-Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, April 2014

As we stop comparing not only will we see who we really are, we will also who our sisters really are, and will be filled with charity--the watchword of our organization--in a greater measure.

Gordon B. Hinckley on Women

This is a unique talk because it is given in direct answers to direct questions about women and the Gospel. A good read!  "Daughters of God," November 1991.

One excerpt:

Now, Virginia, you call attention to the statement in the scriptures that Adam should rule over Eve. (See Gen. 3:16.) You ask why this is so. I do not know. I regrettably recognize that some men have used this through centuries of time as justification for abusing and demeaning women. But I am confident also that in so doing they have demeaned themselves and offended the Father of us all, who, I am confident, loves His daughters just as He loves His sons.

I sat with President David O. McKay on one occasion when he talked about that statement in Genesis. His eyes flashed with anger as he spoke of despotic husbands and stated that they would have to make an accounting of their evil actions when they stand to be judged by the Lord. He indicated that the very essence of the spirit of the gospel demands that any governance in the home must be done only in righteousness.

My own interpretation of that sentence is that the husband shall have a governing responsibility to provide for, to protect, to strengthen and shield the wife. Any man who belittles or abuses or terrorizes, or who rules in unrighteousness, will deserve and, I believe, receive the reprimand of a just God who is the Eternal Father of both His sons and daughters.

Neal A. Maxwell on Women

Oh, I never get tired of this one:  "The Women of God," April 1978 (lots of talk about women in this conference!)

A few favorite excerpts:

[R]ighteousness is not a matter of role, nor goodness a matter of gender. In the work of the Kingdom, men and women are not without each other, but do not envy each other, lest by reversals and renunciations of role we make a wasteland of both womanhood and manhood.

...

We salute you, sisters, for the joy that is yours as you rejoice in a baby’s first smile and as you listen with eager ear to a child’s first day at school which bespeaks a special selflessness. Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms.

...

We have special admiration for the unsung but unsullied single women among whom are some of the noblest daughters of God. These sisters know that God loves them, individually and distinctly. They make wise career choices even though they cannot now have the most choice career. Though in their second estate they do not have their first desire, they still overcome the world. These sisters who cannot now enrich the institution of their own marriage so often enrich other institutions in society. They do not withhold their blessings simply because some blessings are now withheld from them. Their trust in God is like that of the wives who are childless, but not by choice, but who in the justice of God will receive special blessings one day.

...

Finally, remember: When we return to our real home, it will be with the “mutual approbation” of those who reign in the “royal courts on high.” There we will find beauty such as mortal “eye hath not seen”; we will hear sounds of surpassing music which mortal “ear hath not heard.” Could such a regal homecoming be possible without the anticipatory arrangements of a Heavenly Mother?

Spencer W. Kimball on Women

For some time now I've been wanting to do a more thorough study on women and on our Heavenly Mother. President Spencer W. Kimball is always a good place to start! Here is an excerpt from his talk "The True Way of Life and Salvation" from April 1978.

I want to express my appreciation for the wonderful women of the Church. We love the women of our Church. We love them as deeply as our own wives, our mothers, our grandmothers, our sisters, and our friends. Someday, when the whole story of this and previous dispensations is told, it will be filled with courageous stories of our women, of their wisdom and their devotion, their courage, for one senses that perhaps, just as women were the first at the sepulchre of the Lord Jesus Christ after his resurrection, our righteous women have so often been instinctively sensitive to things of eternal consequence. We recognize, as one man has wisely said, that while we speak of the impact of one’s mother’s tongue with a lasting effect upon us, it is our mother’s love which touches us everlastingly and so deeply.

We worry, therefore, conversely over these trends which would reduce the mother’s love in our world. God has placed women at the very headwaters of the human stream. So much of what our men and our institutions seek to do downstream in the lives of erring individuals is done to compensate for early failures. Likewise, so much of life’s later rejoicing is a reflection of a woman’s work well done at the headwaters of the home.

It was Goethe who said, “The Eternal Feminine draws us on.” (Johann W. von Goethe, Faust.)

“A good woman,” as the scriptures tell us, “is the glory of the man.” (1 Cor. 11:7.)

The scriptures remind us that “Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken.” (D&C 83:2.) Women also have a claim on their husbands for respect, fidelity, and thoughtfulness for in that subtle, sweet relationship that should obtain between men and women, there is partnership with the priesthood.

We delight and marvel in the appropriate development and expressions of our sisters’ many talents. Surely the Church’s educational effort in behalf of its women is a sermon in itself.

Perhaps more than any other people of like size, we are deeply committed to the development of the skills and talents of our sisters, for we believe our educational program is not simply education for this world, but involves an education for all eternity.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has sponsored the advancement of women from its very outset. It was the Prophet Joseph Smith who set forth the ideals for womanhood. He advocated liberally for women in the purest sense of the word, and he gave them liberty to fully express themselves as mothers, as nurses to the sick, as proponents of high community ideals, and as protectors of good morals.

What more can any woman want for herself? What more could any man want for his wife? What more could any man want than to match that standard in his own conduct?

The Prophet Joseph gave us the Relief Society organization to advance these high purposes for Latter-day Saint women. That society today is a worldwide movement holding membership in national and world organizations for the advancement of women.

Finally, when we sing that doctrinal hymn and anthem of affection, “O My Father,” we get a sense of the ultimate in maternal modesty, of the restrained, queenly elegance of our Heavenly Mother, and knowing how profoundly our mortal mothers have shaped us here, do we suppose her influence on us as individuals to be less if we live so as to return there?

Perhaps many today would scoff at the question, "What more can any woman want for herself?" But the more I see the way society is going, the more I see that the greatest good I can do in the world is to love on an individual level and foster community among those around me. That is why we need more gwomen to be free from work; to be able to rely on their husbands for their support so that they can be present, not only in their children's lives but as a force for community good.

And I can practice law on the side, too =)

C.S. Lewis on Homemaking

You can get this and other awesome printables here!

And incredible time to be a young woman.

I love this quote from this interview with Elaine S. Dalton, General Young Womens President:

This is an incredible time to be a young woman and a member of the Church. The young women have been preparing for this time. They are virtuous. They are worthy to receive and use their own limited-use temple recommend, they are taking the names of their ancestors to the temple, and they continue to participate in camp, Personal Progress, and class presidencies. The opportunity to serve a mission will be one more way that a young woman can spread the gospel of Jesus Christ, become an articulate advocate for the family, and assist in hastening the Lord’s work on the earth. It is indeed an honor to serve these precious daughters of God at this time. It is humbling. Heavenly Father loves and trusts His precious daughters, and now, as never before, is the time to flood the earth with their virtue, their strong spirits, and their light. They are worthy and prepared to serve the Lord. They are incredible. And they are changing the world.

It is an incredible time to be a young woman. I love that she points out how the young women have been preparing for this time, when they are so desperately needed. I am excited that more women will have the opportunity to serve missions. I am excited that this will increase the likelihood of my sons marrying return missionaries, as those women will have had some wonderful training in becoming, as Sister Dalton says, "articulate advocates" for the Gospel and the family. In this world, my children and their children will need that strength.

On Eve's Marital Counseling.

This has been on my mind since I am reading the Pearl of Great Price, and it seems fitting for this week. After partaking of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, this is what God told Adam and Eve:

 16 Unto the ^awoman he said, I will greatly ^bmultiply thy ^csorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth ^dchildren; and thy desire shall be to thy ^ehusband, and he shall rule over thee.

 17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy ^awife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: ^bcursed is the ground for thy sake; in ^csorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

 18 ^aThorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

 19 In the ^asweat of thy face shalt thou eat ^bbread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for ^cdust thou art,and unto ^ddust shalt thou return.

That phrase, "thy desire shall be unto thy husband" has been sitting in the back of my mind for a while. Those who are looking to find offense against women will say (have said!) that this is God, or organized religion, relegating women to second class. Telling them they must unquestioningly submit to their husband's desires, and that they have no say or power unto themselves. This is so far from what I have been taught in Church and what I have understood from the scriptures! My feelings of late have been more along the lines of what President Kimball described in this April 1978 discourse (a good one on women and the Church!), which echoes a revelation to Joseph Smith recorded in D&C 83:

The scriptures remind us that “Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken.” (D&C 83:2.) Women also have a claim on their husbands for respect, fidelity, and thoughtfulness for in that subtle, sweet relationship that should obtain between men and women, there is partnership with the priesthood.

I'm sure that this first instruction to Adam and Eve with regards to the mortal world was meant to help them (an us; remember this was recorded by Moses to be instructional to future generations) navigate it as a team. To remain one, as they had been commanded. And that required some division of labor. Eve is told that childbearing is going to be really hard. Her desire was going to be unto her husband. But unto her husband what? For one, I think that he desire was going to be a guide unto her husband. He needed to provide for her needs and wants. To care for her. To be her protector and aid, especially when she was in the vulnerable state of bearing, nursing, and rearing children. I think it is also a reminder to support, sustain, and respect her husband in that providing role, since his job isn't easy either, as his family's sustenance depends on "the sweat of his brow." It may be a reminder for Eve to not try to run the show and do everything, but to let her husband provide and preside as he should. It is a reminder to both that they need each other. It is good counsel. It is counsel I need a lot of the time.

In the end, I suppose my sentiment is this: if you are looking for offense, you will find it. If you are looking to feel oppressed or discriminated or put down, you will find those feelings as well. But if you are looking for our Father, to know His nature, His will, and His doctrine, that is what you will find. It may not always look like what you want to hear, but in the end it will take you where you want to be.

Simplifying

I love Marjorie Pay Hinckley. I saw this printable and thought I'd share:

You can download it for yourself here.

I was just talking to my husband about how glad I am to feel like I am past needing to prove myself to anyone but myself, him, and the Lord. That is way more than enough to worry about, without having to prove myself to the rest of the world by a standard that isn't my own or my Father's.

And I can always use some simplifying.

p.s. If you like it better in blue, there is another version of the same quote here.

Two Trees: Another awesome view on motherhood and priesthood

Okay, just one more. I promise you'll like it.

http://empoweringldswomen.blogspot.com/2010/11/two-trees-symbolic-interpretation-of.html

Update: Here is another version that is more readable: http://mormonscholarstestify.org/1718/valerie-hudson-cassler

I think it is so funny to me that the world sees the Church as subjugating women. I am so much more free having a husband and a whole Church network to support me in my responsibilities. I am free because I love and take care of my body, and use it for its ordained purposes instead of as a tool or an object. I am free because I don't have to compete with men to be complete as a woman. I am free because I don't have to do and be everything in order to legitimize my gender. I don't have to bear the weight of the whole world; I can rely on my companion and help meet to do his part so I can do mine.

Motherhood and Priesthood

A friend of mine posted this article on Facebook recently:

Empowering LDS Women: Motherhood is the Equivalent of Priesthood?

I am often a bit hesitant or skeptical when I read articles with these kinds of titles, because it seems that the internet has too-often become a forum for women to criticize our priesthood leaders and propose myriad ways that they should have more "power" or "say" in the Church. But I appreciated that the author of this article seems to have spent a lot of time trying to reconcile her understanding to the revealed word and the direction of modern Prophets rather than doing the opposite: trying to make the doctrine conform to her notions of fairness or equality. As a result, she has some really interesting and lovely insights.

Thoreau's advice for the perfectionist

Do you ever get so discouraged about not being able to do everything that you just do nothing? Maybe that's just me. All the time.  Glad I ran across this quote that I took down a long time ago:


"A man has not everything to do, but something; and because he cannot do everything, it is not necessary that he should do something wrong."


-Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience

On Creation

See my first post as a guest blogger on my friends' amazing new blog! I share some thoughts about how creating is part of our divine nature.

http://everythingforthelove.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/thats-insightful-2/?preview=true&preview_id=573&preview_nonce=c602435e11

Learning who we are

When I was going to Long Beach State, I went to a fireside in Irvine with Sheri Dew. I was amazed and inspired. The contents that stuck with me were very similar to this address that I ran across today while working on a guest post for a friend's blog. It brought back a flood of good feelings and inspiration.


http://ce.byu.edu/cw/womensconference/archive/2001/dew_sheri.html

Read. Bask. Enjoy. 

Women and the Priesthood: thoughts lately.

A friend of mine posted a link recently to a group of LDS feminists. It seems that a lot of similar groups are popping up on the internet--people who are displeased with a particular aspect of LDS doctrine or culture, and then focus in on it incessantly. I find myself in an interesting position; I understand a lot of the points, and have even thought about and struggled with some of them. I don't agree, but I have a hard time conveying how I feel about it in an articulate and effective manner.

So when I came across this post this evening, I was grateful. The author hits the nail on the head for me; the world can't understand that the patriarchal order is not inherently unequal because it doesn't understand the nature of the priesthood (or of womanhood, for that matter). Read for yourself:

http://mormonmidrashim.blogspot.com/2012/02/priesthood-cooperative-culture-and-why.html

I know there are plenty of people who disagree (that seems to be all I come across lately). But it is refreshing for me to read a coherent explanation of the priesthood, which is meant to exalt women (and men), not debase them.

On Beauty.

Love this:

http://diapersanddivinity.com/2012/01/23/the-beauty-paradox/

The complexity of being a woman with a degree.

Sorry, this may be more of a venting post than a spiritual one. But maybe someone else feels the same way.

Today I decided to read an issue of the Clark Memorandum that I found lying around. The CM is the journal for the J. Reuben Clark Law Society, to which I am associated by virtue of graduating from the school of the same name. I read an article about gender bias in law practice, written by a wonderful LDS lady, mother of 6, and presiding judge of the Riverside Superior Court, Hon. Sherrill A. Ellsworth. She talked about how she faced a lot of criticism from other women in the Church because of her decision to practice law and pursue a career. She hired her mom as an assistant and kept her baby at the office with her until she felt he was ready for pre-school. She made sure to keep her kids a priority. And she became a very successful, respected judge.

I have a lot of internal reactions to this kind of article or discussion when I come upon them. Here are the main ones:

1. Wow, she did so much while still being a good mom. Every time I think about doing something for just a few hours a week from home, I get overwhelmed and give up. Not to mention that I am seriously intimidated by the idea of trying to jump into practice when I haven't so much as looked up a statute in 2 1/2 years now. I am such a lazy coward with no life management skills. I am inadequate because I am "only" staying home.

Wrong reaction.

2. I don't think I could go to work full time with young kids. At times I've probably been one of those judgmental women who made this hard for people like her. I do believe that it is best for the mother to stay home with kids. I feel like I am doing the right thing by staying home. How do I reconcile that her decision was right for her and mine is right for me? Isn't there one right answer?

Wrong answer.

3. Why did I get this law degree in the first place? I am just proving all those lame guys right who made remarks like, "You are taking the place of some hard-working father who needs to provide for his family." I would joke sometimes that I wasn't going to study as hard, "I'll leave the top ten to the guys who really need jobs." That was self-defeating and I knew it. But was there truth to it?

Wrong again.

Even though our circumstances are very different, I think judge Ellsworth and I are struggling against the same thing. After I returned from my mission, I went to Japan for the summer to spend time with my grandparents and do some genealogy research. When I told a couple of ladies in the ward that I would be starting law school in the fall, one said, with a completely straight face, "Why don't you want to get married?" Seriously? Are those things mutually exclusive? (Also, hello, why do you think I'm going to BYU?) Why should I have to explain myself? Because we are women, and especially because we are mothers, there is some expectation that we have to explain ourselves for doing anything that is not directly associated with traditional motherhood. As she points out, women generally don't get criticized for getting a degree in education or nursing--things more typically associated with women. Yet she has to explain why she practices. I have to explain why I got a law degree but am not practicing. We somehow have to justify ourselves to everyone else's expectations or standards.

And yet, the only thing that should matter to me is what the Lord wants me to do for my family right now. If that means I get a job, so be it. If that means I stay home, so be it. It's between myself, my husband, and the Lord. Judge Ellsworth has done a great work, opened doors, and garnered a lot of respect for LDS women. I can appreciate her contributions without judgment or comparison. I have no place interjecting myself into whatever conversations she has had with the Lord about her choices and her path. And I can ignore anyone who tries to interject themselves in mine.

Of course, that is easier said than done. You can still guarantee that I'll go through this whole process in my head every time someone asks me about my 'legal career.'

p.s. I love this article. So true.