Preparing the Sacrament

I helped Ethan prepare this talk for Sacrament meeting today, and he did a wonderful job giving it and got many, many compliments both on his delivery and on the content. I hope I can remember these things that we learned together every week when I see those boys preparing the sacrament.

Ethan's Talk:

Hello Brothers and Sisters, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ethan Kenworthy. The topic I was given today was: “How our service in preparing the sacrament helps all of us cherish the gift of repentance and forgiveness by turning to Christ through this sacred ordinance”

A lot of times, preparing the sacrament is just something that is part of my Sunday routine. It’s my duty, and so I do it, and it doesn’t always feel like a big act of service. But receiving this topic gave me a good opportunity to really reflect on what it means for our ward when the teachers prepare the sacrament.

Doctrine and Covenants 59:9-10 says, “For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and pay thy devotions unto the most high.”

In his talk titled “Sacrament Meeting and the Sacrament,” Elder Oaks said:

“This is a commandment with a promise. By participating weekly and appropriately in the ordinance of the sacrament we qualify for the promise that we will ‘always have his spirit to be with us.’ That Spirit is the foundation of our testimony. It testifies of the father and the son, brings all things unto our remembrance, and leads us into truth. This gift of the Holy Ghost, President Wilford Woodruff taught, ‘is the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon man.’”

President Oaks continues:

The ordinance of the sacrament makes the sacrament meeting the most sacred and important meeting in the Church. It is the only Sabbath meeting the entire family can attend together. Its content in addition to the sacrament should always be planned and presented to focus our attention on the Atonement and the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

 

That quote made me ask myself how preparing the sacrament each week could point all of us to the Savior. To start, the symbols of the sacrament and how we prepare them are all designed to remind us of Christ’s Atonement. 

The very first thing we do when we arrive is to wash our hands. We do this in order to be clean before we handle the sacrament. In a similar way, every one of us is supposed to come to the sacrament with “clean hands and a pure heart.” (Psalm 24:3-4) We are able to become clean from our sins when we repent, and then we can renew our baptismal covenant by taking the sacrament.

The next thing we do is to prepare the bread and water. We know that the bread symbolizes the body of Jesus Christ, which He sacrificed for us. The water symbolizes Jesus’ blood, which He shed for us in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. In a 2017 General Conference talk, Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, “The bread and water represent the flesh and blood of Him who is the Bread of Life and the Living Water, poignantly reminding us of the price He paid to redeem us. As the bread is broken, we remember the Savior’s torn flesh. As we drink the water, we think of the blood He shed in Gethsemane and on the cross and its sanctifying power.” 

During the sacrament, we pass the sacrament tray to each other down the rows. We serve each other when we pass the trays down the rows, and we all need each other as we partake of the sacrament. Jesus Christ set the example for us by serving everyone he could, like how we serve each other in this way. In the scriptures, we are told to obtain a remission of our sins we need to love, serve, and forgive each other.

We cover the trays with a cloth, which represents Jesus’ body, just as He was covered with a cloth in the tomb. It reminds us of how Jesus died for all of us so we could be forgiven of our sins. He was then resurrected and the cloth was removed, just like we take off the cloth during the sacrament. This reminds us of Jesus’ resurrection, and that we can also be born again and have new life through His atonement.

In short, every part of the sacrament is about Jesus Christ. He is the Son of God. He came here to pay for our sins. In order to do that He had to live a perfect life. In Elder Christofferson's talk, he said: “As we partake of the sacramental bread and water each week, we would do well to consider how fully and completely we must incorporate His character and the pattern of His sinless life into our life and being. Jesus could not have atoned for the sins of others unless He Himself was sinless.” Taking the sacrament each week can give us power to overcome our sins and become more like Jesus Christ.

In Luke 22: 14-20, it says:

“And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him. And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer: For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God. And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it among yourselves:  … And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.”

This shows how Jesus Himself was the first one to institute the sacrament and told his disciples: “This do in remembrance of me.” So since the beginning of the sacrament the purpose was to help us remember and cherish Jesus Christ’s Atonement. When we prepare and partake of the sacrament every week, we are following his example. 

I’m thankful for the ability that we have to repent and renew our covenants every week with the sacrament. I know that the sacrament can help us feel closer to Jesus.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Talk: Buscando el Perdon del Senor

I gave this talk in the Spanish group, and so wrote it in Spanish. With the wonders of Google Translate, I won't worry about creating an English version and will just leave this here with my other talks.

Hoy se me ha pedido hablar en cuanto al tema, “Buscando el perdón del Señor.” Inmediatamente me gustó este tema porque, mientras refiere a las cosas que necesitamos hacer para buscar el perdón, se enfoca más en el Señor y cómo Él otorga el perdón. Muchas veces en la iglesia hablamos del arrepentimiento cómo un proceso que nos gana el perdón y la salvación. Repasamos los pasos del arrepentimiento como una lista de verificación: 1. Reconocer que hemos pecado y confesarlo. Cheque. 2. Pedir perdón a dios. Cheque. 3. Pedir perdón a las personas a quienes hayamos lastimado. Cheque. 4. Hacer lo posible para reparar y sanar la herida. Cheque. La escritura que se me asignó hoy, que se encuentra el Doctrina y Convenios 58:42-43, también describe cómo arrepentirse:

He aquí. quien se ha arrepentido de sus pecados es perdonado; y yo, el señor, no los recuerdo más. 

Por esto podréis saber si un hombre se arrepiente de sus pecados: He aquí, los confesará y los abandonará.

Doctrina y Convenios 58:42-43

Esta escritura da un esquema similar de lo que mencioné antes de cómo arrepentirse: Hay que confesar el pecado y abandonar el pecado. Me parece sencillo, pero al tratar de hacerlo sola por mi misma, cada vez descubro que no lo puedo hacer. Tal vez ustedes han sentido la misma frustración que siento a menudo: a pesar de mis buenas intenciones, día tras día sigo cometiendo los mismos errores y cayendo en las mismas tentaciones que he tratado de dejar. Me enojo con mis hijos sin justificación, juzgo a otros cuando no actúan de acuerdo con mis preferencias, malgasto el tiempo, etcétera, y mis esfuerzos para mejorarme sólo me parecen dar frutos microscópicos. Si tengo que abandonar todos mis pecados para cumplir con los requisitos del arrepentimiento y así ganarme el perdón, nunca lo lograré, y no hay esperanza para mi.

Para darles un ejemplo sencillo, varias veces cuando he estado en el templo he sentido la voz del espíritu decirme que necesito cuidar mejor a mi cuerpo y dormir más de lo que históricamente he hecho. Ya son años que estoy recibiendo esta dirección de dios, y no lo he seguido bien mas de unos dias. Sé lo que debo hacer, pero no lo hago. ¿Hay perdón para mi en este caso, cuando no he abandonado el pecado?

Estos pasos no son malos; realmente son buenos para guiarnos a traves del proceso del arrepentimiento. Pero lo más importante es recordar qu en realidad el perdón no es algo que podemos ganar a través de estos pasos o las buenas obras. El perdón es un don de Dios, que se nos da por medio de la expiación de Jesucristo. Sin este acto de amor y sacrificio, no hay cosa alguna que pudiéramos hacer para ganar el perdón, porque al momento de pecar, hubiéramos perdido la salvación por toda la eternidad. Sí es importante que ponemos el esfuerzo para arrepentirnos y mejorarnos, pero el propósito de este proceso no es perfeccionarnos antes de recibir el perdón, sino que es de reorientarnos hacia el Señor para poder recibir su gracia y el don del perdón que se hace posible por medio de su sacrificio expiatorio. Esta gracia también nos esfuerza para tratar otra vez y seguir adelante cuando desfallezcamos. Voy a leer parte de la escritura antedicha otra vez, pero esta vez quiero enfocarme en lo que nos enseña acerca del carácter de Dios.

He aquí. Quien se ha arrepentido de sus pecados es perdonado; y yo, el señor, no los recuerdo más. 

¡Esto me dice que el Señor no está buscando oportunidades de condenarme! No quiere que me esconda con vergüenza cuando haya pecado. Es un padre perfecto que quiere perdonarnos libremente y olvidarse completamente de nuestros pecados. Nos ama tanto que dio a su Hijo Unigénito para hacer posible este don, y no creo que lo hizo para que unos pocos de sus hijos escogidos volvieran a Él. Creo que Él quiere que todos sus hijos sepan de su amor y reciban este don, y asi es algo que todos podemos lograr si tratamos de hacerlo.

El Profeta y presidente anterior de la Iglesia, Gordon B. HInckley, dijo

La gran Expiación fue el acto supremo del perdón. La magnitud de esa Expiación trasciende nuestra capacidad de entender completamente. Lo único que sé es que en verdad aconteció y que fue tanto para mi provecho como para el de ustedes. El sufrimiento fue tan profundo y la agonía tan intensa que nadie puede llegar a comprender que el Salvador se hubiera ofrecido como rescate por los pecados de toda la humanidad.

Por medio de Él obtenemos el perdón. Mediante Él recibimos la promesa cierta de que a todos se nos concederán las bendiciones de la salvación y de la resurrección de los muertos. Por medio de Él y de Su extraordinario y supremo sacrificio, se nos brinda la oportunidad, si es que somos obedientes, de la exaltación y la vida eterna. 

Entonces, no podemos arrepentirnos sin Jesucristo. No podemos recibir el perdón sin Jesucristo. Así que, si queremos buscar el perdón del Señor, tenemos que buscar a Jesucristo. Teniendo esto en la mente, al estudiar las escrituras en cuánto al perdón, podemos entender los consejos no como demandas que Dios nos pone para lograr el perdón; en cambio, podemos verlos como una guía que podemos seguir para buscar a Cristo y re-fijar nuestra mirada hacia Él cuando hayamos desfallecido y nos hayamos extraviado de la senda estrecha.

El buscar a Cristo requiere que aprendamos quien es Él. Y las mejores maneras de conocer a Cristo son de comunicarse con Él a través de la oración y aprender de Él por medio de las escrituras, las cuales proveen una historia de cómo ha guiado a su pueblo trás la historia. 

En el Nuevo Testament, Jesús afirme que tiene el poder de sanarnos. Dice:

El Hijo del Hombre tiene potestad para perdonar pecados,

¿Y cómo aplica Él este poder con nosotros? En el libro de Números, Lo describe asi:

Jehová, que es tardo para la ira y grande en misericordia, que perdona la iniquidad y la transgresión.

Esto me indica cuán liberal es el Señor en perdonarnos. Tal vez el ejemplo más poderoso de su capacidad de perdonar se ve cuando Jesús estaba colgado en la cruz, y aún entre el sufrimiento extremo, pidió perdón por los que le estaba torturando y matando, porque no entendían lo que hacían.

Éste es un Dios a quien me puedo acercar. Es un Dios misericordioso. Es un Dios a quien puedo pedir sin temor si mi corazón está sincera. 

Teniendo en mente este conocimiento de quien es el Señor, voy a volver a los consejos que nos ha dado en las escrituras en cuanto a cómo recibir el don del perdón.

Ya dijimos que debemos hacer lo que podemos para dejar nuestros pecados al confesarlos, pedir perdón, y abandonarlos. Cada vez que pecamos, podemos pedir de nuevo, sin temer que el Señor se va a cansar de nuestras pedidas. En el Libro de Mormón, en el Libro de Mosias, el Señor dice al Rey Benjamin:

Sí, y cuántas veces mi pueblo se arrepienta, le perdonaré sus transgresiones contra mí.

Además, al trabajar en la obra del Señor, nos ayuda a mantener el perdón porque nos ayuda a mantenernos cerca a Jesucristo. Primeramente, al hacer y guardar convenios con el Señor, él nos perdona los pecados.  En el libro de Hechos, 2:38, Pedro dice al pueblo:

Arrepentíos y bautícese cada uno de vosotros en el nombre de Jesucristo para perdón de los pecados, y recibiréis el don del Espíritu Santo.

Al ejercitar la fe y cumplir con las sagradas promesas que hacemos con el Señor al bautizarnos y después al hacer más convenios en el templo, podemos seguir recibiendo el perdón de nuestros pecados a pesar de nuestra debilidad.

Además, El Rey Benjamin también dijo:

Y también os perdonaréis vuestras ofensas los unos a los otros; porque en verdad os digo que el que no perdona las ofensas de su prójimo, cuando este dice que se arrepiente, tal ha traído sobre sí la condenación.

Entonces, otro requisito para recibir el perdón del Señor es perdonar a los demás cuando nos hayan ofendido. Al perdonar a otros, seguimos el ejemplo del Señor y nos acercamos a Él. Benjamin siguió su discurso en cuanto a cómo podemos buscar la remisión de nuestros pecados al buscar al Señor:

Y otra vez os digo, según dije antes, que así como habéis llegado al conocimiento de la gloria de Dios, o si habéis sabido de su bondad, y probado su amor, y habéis recibido la remisión de vuestros pecados, lo que ocasiona tan inmenso gozo en vuestras almas, así quisiera que recordaseis y retuvieseis siempre en vuestra memoria la grandeza de Dios, y vuestra propia nulidad, y su bondad y longanimidad para con vosotros, indignas criaturas, y os humillaseis aun en las profundidades de la humildad, invocando el nombre del Señor diariamente, y permaneciendo firmes en la fe de lo que está por venir, que fue anunciado por boca del ángel.

Y he aquí, os digo que si hacéis esto, siempre os regocijaréis, y seréis llenos del amor de Dios y siempre retendréis la remisión de vuestros pecados; y aumentaréis en el conocimiento de la gloria de aquel que os creó, o sea, en el conocimiento de lo que es justo y verdadero.

Y ahora bien, por causa de estas cosas que os he hablado —es decir, a fin de retener la remisión de vuestros pecados de día en día, para que andéis sin culpa ante Dios— quisiera que de vuestros bienes dieseis al pobre, cada cual según lo que tuviere, tal como alimentar al hambriento, vestir al desnudo, visitar al enfermo, y ministrar para su alivio, tanto espiritual como temporalmente, según sus necesidades.

Podemos ver que todas estas cosas no son cosas que podemos hacer de una vez y ser perdonados. Son cosas que nos trae el perdón porque nos traen a Jesucristo y nos inspiran a caminar en esta vida siguiendo el ejemplo que nos dejó: el de amar y servir y perdonar a todos los demás. 

Si ustedes son perfeccionistas como la soy yo, puede ser que al escuchar todos estos requisitos y recomendaciones, sientan abrumados. A veces no siento que puedo hacer más de lo que estoy haciendo ahora. Pero como dije al principio, no tenemos que hacer todo en este mismo momento, por nosotros mismos. Si estamos haciendo un esfuerzo con buenas intenciones, tratando de buscar a Cristo, tengo confianza de que nuestros esfuerzos serán aceptados. También se nos ha dado el don del Espíritu Santo para guiarnos y enfocarnos en las cosas que Dios quiere que hagamos en cualquier momento. El profeta Nefi enseñó:

Porque he aquí, os digo otra vez, que si entráis por la senda y recibís el Espíritu Santo, él os mostrará todas las cosas que debéis hacer.

Quiero invitar a cada uno de nosotros a considerar el estado de nuestra relación con Dios, y a preguntarle lo que Él quiere que haga, sabiendo que Él te ama de todo corazón, que Él quiere perdonarte, que no te va a dar un trabajo que no puedes hacer, y que te ayudaré en cumplirlo.

Quiero terminar enfatizando mi testimonio de Jesucristo: Yo sé que tenemos a Padres Celestiales, que nos aman perfectamente y que quieren que todos sus hijos regresemos a su presencia. Por esto fue mandado Jesucristo a la tierra para llevar la carga de nuestros pecados y ganarnos la salvación. Estoy siempre agradecida por este don y el amor que tuvo para llevar a cabo este milagro que es el centro de todo el plan de salvación y de todo lo que hacemos en esta iglesia. El tratar de seguir a Cristo me ha traido a este mismo momento en mi vida, y nunca me a ha fallado. Este conocimiento me humilla y me da esperanza para seguir adelante.

Talk: Perfect in Christ

 Perfection in Christ

August 28, 2022

As I was pondering how to start my talk today, my mind somewhat randomly came to a phrase in my patriarchal blessing, which I think will be okay to share here. I am cautioned that at times Satan will attempt to bruise my heels and lead me astray. In the scriptures we read that Satan will have power to bruise our heels here in mortality, and I wondered what that really meant. So I Iooked up what it means to have a bruised heel, and Dr. Kenworthy over there confirmed that my internet search didn’t lead me too far astray, even if my medical terminology was incorrect. 

A bruised heel happens when the fat pad in your heel, which cushions the heel bone, is compressed and displaced, allowing the bone to bruise. 

It is caused by repetitive impact on the heel, especially from repetitive jumping or long-distance running (which happens to be my favorite sport. Not that I run that far these days, but if I’m going to do something, it’s usually running). Contributing factors are poor footwear and training errors, like increasing your training too far, too fast, or changing the surface you run on or your footwear you use without time to adapt. In short, it is an overuse injury.

I know this would have zero meaning to most people from a spiritual standpoint, but when I read that I caught my breath and had to stop for a minute, because I knew that this phrase was put there for a reason, for me. The Lord wanted to remind me right now that He knows me, and a main vulnerability to my spiritual well-being is overuse fatigue--expecting myself to be able to do more and be more right now, and being discouraged when I don’t measure up. 

But how do we reconcile all of the counsel we get to do better with the plain fact that we can’t do it all? This is something that I feel that the Lord has been teaching me over and over and over again. (Apparently I am not just a perfectionist, I am a stubborn perfectionist. But really, it’s something I’ve always struggled with)

In the past I have thought that if I was obedient enough I could do everything. Aren’t we promised that keeping the commandments will mean that we can run and not be weary and walk and not faint? It’s funny, given how much of my life I have spent running, how long it took me to actually learn about what all these scripture references to running mean in practice. We need to remember that the kind of stamina needed to run without becoming weary is only ever achieved by long, slow training, always with an eye to pacing. The Lord may ask me to run a marathon, but he doesn’t expect me to up and do it at World Championship pace right this second. Along that route, I need periods of slow runs, sprint and medley workouts to build speed, and lots of nourishment and rest.

I also like to pause when I hear the word, “shall.” This one came up a lot in my legal writing class way back when, because it really has multiple meanings. It can express what will happen, but it can also express a command. So commandment keeping will make it so that we will be able to run and not be weary, but if it’s a commandment as well as a promise, we need to do the practical things that keep us from getting weary: pacing ourselves, taking care of ourselves, making sure our shoes don’t get worn out and our form is proper, and sometimes taking a break or riding a bike or swimming instead of running at at all. Scriptures like Mosiah 4:27 explain how to do this: “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.” The running really isn’t the important part here: it’s the diligence. And we enable ourselves to be consistent and diligent when we give ourselves a sustainable pace.

If you haven’t had enough misinterpreted scriptural running analogies, then I’m sorry but I’m on a roll so we are going to keep going. We often talk about running a race with respect to living the Gospel, and there is a lot we can learn from this analogy that is useful. Hebrews 12 encourages us to “lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” But I think this idea also can get us off track if we don’t understand the limits of the metaphor. The main characteristic of a race is competition. But living the Gospel, whose purpose is to redeem the whole human family, should be anything but a competition.

The girls on my high school cross-country team were all Christian, and our team scripture became 1 Corinthians 9:24: “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth a prize? So run, that ye may obtain. Great scripture, and it inspired me to run my hardest and try my best in more than just running. But 16-year-old me did not take time to understand the context of the rest of Paul’s message here. He continues: “And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things.” Oh, right there he is saying that we need to moderate our efforts and keep balance! Not just run flat out without stopping. “Now they (meaning the runners in a race) do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.” Right there Paul is saying that he is actually contrasting living the gospel with running a race to point out how they are different. “I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air.” 

As we run our race with temperance, we should remember that the eternal race isn’t at all about how ahead or behind we perceive ourselves to be compared to the people around us or reaching a certain righteousness index. Certainly as we follow Christ He will help us to overcome sins and temptations, but the important part really isn’t the progress metric, but the process itself. Because the moment we think that we don’t need Christ desperately, or don’t need HIm as much as other people, we are right back at the starting line. This reminds me of the Nephites who were there when Christ appeared. They heard a voice, and the first two times they didn’t understand it because they looked around at each other to try to figure out what was happening. It wasn’t until the third time that they looked steadfastly to heaven, and not to each other, that they were able to understand what the Lord had to say to them.

As I wrote about competition and comparison, in my mind's eye I saw our ward as my high school track practice, where lots of different athletes of different abilities are training. Some are jogging slowly, some are doing sprints, some are walking or stretching. They all have different abilities and strengths. They are all training for different events. Some are practicing shot put or pole vault. Some, like me at some points, are in the field house icing their shins or riding a stationary bike because they, shockingly, have an overuse injury. And I felt the love of the Savior, who would look on each of those athletes that He loves and not care an ounce what mistakes they had made or what struggles they had or what place they came in at the last meet. Knowling all these things, He would only care that they were there showing up, willing to be coached and stretched, willing to try because they trust HIm and trust in the process He has laid out for each of them, and they want to do their best.

I think that’s why another phrase has been coming back to me for the last several months: the Lord’s course is “one eternal round.” Like that track where we can all train and help one another, remembering as Paul did that worldly races are about winning but eternal races aren’t. 

I think it’s so interesting that we regularly have images of the Lord being on a straight path but also being on a round one. In Alma 7 he says:

“For I perceive that ye are in the paths of righteousness; I perceive that ye are in the path which leads to the kingdom of God; yea, I perceive that ye are making his paths straight.

“I perceive that it has been made known unto you, by the testimony of his word, that he cannot walk in crooked paths; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong; therefore, his course is one eternal round.”

The path is straight because it is narrow and doesn’t vary, but it’s round because the Lord is always on the right and never going to the left (or to what is wrong). When it comes to my analogy we may need to run the track backwards so we will always be turning right, but otherwise, I think the metaphor holds. And I think it’s safe to say that if you feel like you are running in circles and your efforts aren’t taking you as far as you might like, you are still on the Lord’s path. If you make the same mistakes you’ve made before but you get up and try again, you are still on the Lord’s path. And it doesn’t matter where on that track you are as long as you are trying to listen to His voice and do what He asks. It just matters that you are there trying, and supporting the other people that are there training with you.

In my effort to run and not be weary, for the last good while I have been slowly going through the Book of Mormon again, trying to take time and to open myself up to what the Lord might teach me, not putting too much pressure on myself to finish a certain study plan or have a remarkable insight every time. I think it was no coincidence that when I received this assignment I had been working my way through Christ’s teachings to the Nephites in 3 Nephi for a week or so.

Then, what do you know, I open up the talk that Bishop Smith suggested I reference for this talk and immediately Elder Holland brought up those very passages! He said:

“The Sermon on the Mount begins with soothing, gentle beatitudes, but in the verses that follow, we are told--among other things--not only not to kill but also not even to be angry. We are told not only not to commit adultery but also not even to have impure thoughts. To those who ask for it, we are to give our coat and then give our cloak also. We are to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and do good to them who hate us.

He continues, “If that is your morning scripture study, and after reading just that far you are pretty certain you are not going to get good marks on your gospel report card, then the final commandment in the chain is sure to finish the job: ‘Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father…in heaven is perfect.’ With that concluding imperative, we want to go back to bed and pull the covers over our head. Such celestial goals seem beyond our reach. Yet surely the Lord would never give us a commandment He knew we could not keep.”

Part of the problem that Elder Holland alludes to here comes from the fact that the connotations of the word “perfect” in  modern English are different from the original meaning in the scriptures. And now we get to go back to the tried-and-true, stereotypical way to start a talk:

The dictionary defines the word perfect as: 

1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type:

2. excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement:

3. Unblemished, faultless, flawless

If we apply this definition to Jesus’ injunction, we are likely to despair. No matter how much I try and how much I trust and how much I repent, I don’t see a way for me to conform absolutely to the measure of Christ, to get to the point that I can’t make any theoretical improvement, or to be faultless or flawless. Just ask my boys how many times in a week I have to apologize to them because I reacted poorly to something. But despair is a tool of Satan, not God. Despair is how I’m prone to being led astray, thinking that I just can’t measure up and so it’s less painful not to try. We can similarly be led astray if we expect that righteousness should make others free from error too. If we expect righteousness to mean perfectionism, then every leader and prophet from the beginning of time down to Russell M. Nelson will be a disappointment. And if the prophets can’t be perfect, and we can’t be perfect, what’s the point? This is why Satan wants so badly for us to spend our time tearing ourselves and others down, using a measuring stick that isn’t scaled for grace and mercy and the pure love of Christ. 

Thankfully, this is not what Christ asks of us. President Nelson has taught that the word used in Matthew 5 is the Greek teleios, meaning complete. Its prefix, tele-, as in telephone or telegram, indicates something far off. Its verb form means to complete or to reach a distant end or goal. (CR Oct 1995, “Perfection Pending”)

This definition of perfection is so much more hopeful to me. It’s something I can work toward, little by little, with help; not something I have to demonstrate now to be worthy. It causes me to look up at the goal instead of down on myself. 

And I think that is a huge key to becoming perfect in Christ. It’s looking to Him instead of looking to our own strength and wisdom and understanding. It’s trusting that even though the gap between our expectations and our performance seems wide, He can use us for His purposes and, line upon line, make us like He is.

Back to Elder Holland’s talk, which is from October 2017 for anyone who would like to read it:

“‘Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him,...,’ Moroni pleads. “Love God with all your might, mind and strength, then … by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.’ Our only hope for true perfection is in receiving it as a gift from heaven--we can’t ‘earn’ it. Thus, the grace of Christ offers us not only salvation from sorrow and sin and death but also salvation from our own persistent self-criticism.” 

I love to think about what it means to receive the gift of perfection from Christ like Elder Holland says rather than trying to earn it myself. When I think about the magnitude of that gift, I’m inspired to obey Him out of love and to give what I can to His other children. I don’t excuse my sins and mistakes, but I can forgive myself for them and resolve to keep on trying. That’s the difference between guilt vs. shame, between grace vs. perfectionism, and really between what Christ tells us about ourselves vs. what the adversary wants us to believe. We are supposed to have weakness so that Christ can mold us into the people He needs us to be.

So going back to those “soothing, gentle beatitudes” that Christ gives before asking us to live a higher, more demanding law, I see now why it was so important that they be given first. If we come up against the demands of the law and feel broken or weak, if we sin and we mourn and we feel like the poorest in spirit, then the law is having its proper effect on us: it has shown us our need for Christ. Remember the people who He blesses are poor, broken, meek, hungry, thirsty, and persecuted. These aren’t things we are trying to avoid, as we do in a worldly sense. These are things we are seeking after, because it’s not so much the achievements as the continual turning to HIm that He is looking for. It’s the broken heart that He wants, because it’s a broken heart that can let Him in to stretch and grow and change. “And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” (3 Nephi 9:20) Then if we turn to Him we will be blessed as He described!

 

Elder Holland put it this way:  “Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete--which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.”

With that in mind, my personal invitation for all of us is that we press forward toward perfection in the sense that we press forward toward Christ. We keep looking to Him, trying to do what He asks us with the understanding that He’ll provide the strength and the light and He can make our small and imperfect offerings able to accomplish His great work.

We can “be not weary in well-doing, for [we] are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.” (D&C 64:33–34) Not perfection; desire and willingness. 

“[We] are not able to abide the presence of God now, neither the ministering of angels; wherefore, continue in patience until [we] are perfected.” (D&C 67:13)

We follow the counsel to “not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided…; but be diligent unto the end.” (D&C 10:3)

As Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the Quorum of the Twelve taught:

“As we seek new and holier ways to love God and help us and others prepare to meet Him, we remember that perfection is in Christ, not in ourselves or in the perfectionism of the world.

“God’s invitations are full of love and possibility because Jesus Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life.” To those who feel burdened, He invites, “Come unto me,” and to those who come to Him, He promises, “I will give you rest.” “Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, … love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.”

I leave that invitation and my testimony that Jesus is the Christ, who took all of our sins and weaknesses and infirmities upon Himself so that He can make us whole, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

How Is It Done?

I finished reading the Book of Mormon today. I have learned so much about his time through and have been reminded how much Christ should be the center of my life. As I have read and looked for Christ in each page and each verse, I came to see again that there is a lack in my life, a place in my heart that is walled in by fear; a place where I have a hard time letting Christ in, where I can’t seem to apply my faith.

I believe in a Christ. I know He loves me, that He loves and died for each of us, that we can all be forgiven and have hope in His Atonement. And yet I often can’t seem to feel that it applies to me. Let’s take this week’s example:

I have been working a lot for the last who-knows-how-long at not yelling and losing my temper with my kids. It is my natural reaction to their defiance, and even though I know that it really doesn't help to fix any problems, I still fall into it. And I hate it. I hate how I feel, I hate how my kids look at me, I hate the thought of treating my babies that way. I am ashamed of myself, and I question my life decisions and my fitness for motherhood each time I do it.

Last week I did really well. I refused to get triggered by a lot of things, I was patient with my kids, I made a huge effort to have a good attitude through Christmas stress and tantrums and gatherings and messes, and I was proud of myself. I let my kids have friends over for a whole day and I cleaned up after their messes and bought them pizza and dealt with their meltdowns. And then a child was rude and defiant and persistently in my face instead of letting me cool off like I asked him to and I absolutely lost it. Maybe the worst I have ever done. I released all of my frustration on him and was  just terrible. And then I could hardly look at my children for the rest of the night. I felt worthless and absolutely hopeless. I have been given so much and I just can’t get it right, can’t be who I am supposed to be, can’t really change. I keep trying without getting any better. How can that happen? How can I ever overcome and how could that kind of behavior ever be erased? I’ve already scarred my children with it, I’ve already seen them look at me the way I swore as a child I would never make them do. How can I recover from that?

All week the words of Enos in his prayer echoed in the back of my mind, “How is it done, Lord?” How can this guilt be lifted and this rift mended? How could all of this possibly be swept away when I am screwing it up so royally?

He answers, “Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen.”

Enos didn’t just believe in Christ; he prayed all day and into the night with such earnestness that he called down an answer. He wrestled with himself before the Lord. And when God told him he was forgiven, he knew God couldn’t lie, so he believed.

Somewhere deep inside I am afraid to believe. Afraid to let go in case I am actually not enough, and my efforts aren’t enough to merit forgiveness. To be counted as His. Afraid that He really won’t make up for when I fail my children. Afraid that my failure will lead to theirs. And all that fear drives away my faith.

It was timely that I am as reading Moroni at this same time, because he taught me again about faith. How it leads to hope and love and every good thing, and not to despair. How Christ is calling me to Him and not looking for reasons to say I’m not enough or to punish me for my failings. He gave His life to bind up my wounds, and so that all of our imperfect efforts can be sanctified.

Tonight we had a little family counsel about the new Come, Follow Me curriculum and how we can make our home more gospel-centered. We talked about forgiveness, and about how we all mess up and even Mommy and Daddy are trying to do better so we can help each other. The same boy from the episode I described earlier declared, “You’re the best Mommy and the nicest Mommy in the world!”

My very sensitive and maybe more honest boy said, “Well, maybe you’re not the nicest mommy in the whole world, but I mean you’re nice.”

Thankfully I don't need to be the nicest or the best or the most perfect, because Christ did that already. But I can have hope that I can be nicer, better, and more perfect in Him.

A Letter about Coming Back

I was going through a box of lesson supplies and unfinished projects, and in an odd spot I found an unfinished letter that I started writing in October of 2011. My feelings then are so applicable now and that I thought I would go ahead and record that testimony here.

I read this scripture this morning and it touched me so, so deeply:

For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say trample under their feet but I would speak in other words--they set himn at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels.

And behold, he cometh...

And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore theyh scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. They spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.

...

Nevertheless, when that day cometh, saith the prophet, that they no more turn aside their hearts against the Holy one of Israel, then will he remember the covenants which he made to their fathers.

...

Yea, and all the earth shall see the salvation of the Lord.

-1 Nephi 19:7-17

There are so many things we think of associated with "the Church." There are people and policies we don't like or don't understand. The administration is imperfect. Mistakes--both inadvertent and blatant--are made. These things provide a lot of excuses, but when it comes down to it, it is Christ's church. He puts up with a lot because He loves us and He is patient with our imperfections. So the main concern, and the real root of activity in the Church is this: Am I willing to lay everything else aside and turn my heart to Jesus Christ?

I know that He lives. I know that He was willing to undergo humiliation and incomprehensible suffering because He was filled with love and compassion for us in our weakness. He knows you. He loves you. He doesn't care what you have done in the past or what counsels you have disobeyed. He suffered all things so that you could have the gift of repentance--of turning to Him whenever you choose and having everything cleaned and forgiven and forgotten in His book. He has waited thousands of years for the Jews--who He so lovingly led through the wilderness out of captivity only to so blatantly reject Him-- to come back to Him; that speaks to how lovingly He is waiting for us to come to Him and to receive all the blessings HE longs to give us. He wants to bless you. He wants to bless your children. He will help you qualify for those blessings. He will carry the burdens that weight on you if you let Him. I know it is true because I have experienced it over and over again. He has a work that only you can do in His kingdom and He needs you here. There is a reason you have the gift of the Gospel.

The Bar of God

Be Reconciled

Studying in 2 Nephi 10, Jacob sums up his teachings with the exhortation:

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, reconcile yourselves to teh will of God, and not to the will of hte devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in an through the grace of God that ye are saved.

I dwelt somewhat on the word "reconcile." Here's the definition from dictionary.com:

1.  to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.
2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.
3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).
4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.
5. to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).
6. to restore (an excommunicate or penitent) to communion in a church.

Definitions 3-6 seem to be the most applicable here. In implies bringing into harmony. Note that we are supposed to reconcile ourselves to God, not the other way around; we are the ones that need to become compatible or consistent, to reconsecrate ourselves and to restore ourselves to communion (i.e. oneness, communication) with God. Then even when we are reconciled, we must rely on His grace and continue this process until the end in order to become like He is.

Rough Thoughts on Freedom

From an old notebook I picked up to use again. Dated May 6, 2013.

Society often rejects whatever is hard or makes people feel bad.

EXAMPLES:

• Abstinence or Word of Wisdom--"It is pointless to teach because teens will do it anyway, or it is too hard to expect people not to participate."
• Nuclear Family--"Some people don't have it, and we don't want to make them feel bad, so we shouldn't talk about the idea."

Many also want to exclude any views that include or are founded on religious principles. But why should an opinion of a professor or the producers of Glee be more persuasive than God's commandments? Belief in their philosophy has no more foundation than my belief in a Biblical deity.

People want to be "free" from standards and ideals that decry their behavior and that call for change. But what kind of freedom is that? Freedom from home? From aspiring to greater things?

Paul said: 

For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness.

What fruit had ye then in those things...?

But now being made free from sin, and become servants unto God, ye have your fruits unto holiness, and the end everlasting life."

         =Romans 6:20-22

President Packer, in April 2012 General Conference, said, "Life was never intended to be easy or fair." We can't water down our message with the idea that somehow we will be violating other's freedom because we teach something that is not immediately attainable for all. But we must consider each one through our individual ministry so that all can receive the portion of the Word that is theirs.

Safeguarded in the Centre

Deeper sense of sin, clearer views of the Gospel, warmer love to Christ,—these are the safeguards against backsliding. Strive and pray for these. Do not keep Christ on the surface; let him possess the centre, and thence direct all the circumference of your life.

-William Arnot, The Parables of Our Lord.

Twain on Esau and Forgiveness

Who stands first—outcast Esau forgiving Jacob in prosperity, or Joseph on a king's throne forgiving the ragged tremblers whose happy rascality placed him there?

-Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad.

It goes to show how far Esau had come that he recognized his erring youth and didn't fault his brother for taking his place as the rightful heir of their father's birthright. That is something that Laman and Lemuel could never forgive.

Tolstoy on the True Life

From The Gospel in Brief

We must understand the true life, what it is. The true life is brought to light always in the lost being brought back to where they belong; in the awakening of those who slept. People who have the true life, who are restored to the source of their being, cannot, like worldly men, take account of others as better or worse; but, being sharers of the Father's life, they can take delight only in the return of the lost to their Father. If a son, who has gone astray and left his father, should repent, and return, how then could the other sons of the same father grudge at the father's joy, or themselves not rejoice at the brother's return?

...

The true life of the fulfilment of the Father's will is not in the life of the past, or of the future, but it is the life of now, the life which all must live at this instant of time. Therefore one must never relax the true life in them. Men are set to watch over life, not of the past or the future, but the life now being lived; and in that, to fulfil the will of the Father of all men. If they let this life escape them, by not fulfilling the Father's will, then they will not receive it back again; just as a watchman, set upon a night-long watch, does not perform his duty if he fall asleep even for a moment; for in this moment a thief may come. Therefore a man must concentrate his strength in the present hour, for in this hour only can he fulfil the Father's will. And that will is life and blessing for all men. Only those live who are doing good. Good done to men, now in this hour, is life, life which unites us with the common Father.

The Rule of Law in the Eternities

How could he sin if there was no law? How could there be a law save there was a punishment?

Now, there was a punishment affixed, and a just law given, which brought remorse of conscience unto man.

Now, if there was no law given--if a man murdered he should die--would he be afraid he would die if he should murder? 

And also, if there was no law given against sin men would not be afraid to sin.

And if there was no law given, if men sinned what could justice do, or mercy either, for they would have no claim upon the creature? 

But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God.

Alma 42:17-23

Mine Integrity

Often I've heard and cited Job's declaration, "til I die I will not remove mine integrity from me." But I never really looked at the context of the chapter, and assumed that Job was referring to the fact that he refused to renounce his faith in the face of his adversity. While that is true of Job, this particular declaration doesn't exactly come in that context.

In chapter 27, Job is in the midst of defending himself against his friends, who repeatedly insist that Job's woes must be a punishment from God and that he needs to repent. Job goes on, "My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let go: my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live." (Job 27:6) Job is saying that he won't remove his integrity in the sense that he won't give in to the temptation to second-guess his life, to fall into self-reproach, or to assume that God was punishing him when he had committed no great sin. He was whole through His redeemer, and his virtue endowed him with confidence.

I can certainly learn from that example, as confidence is not a strong suit of mine. Are false modestly, second-guessing, and questioning the trials I receive all forms of "remov[ing] mine integrity from me" or denying the Atonement in my life? Trials come in large part because that is what we signed up for when we came to Earth. Of course there are things that we should learn form our trials and ways that we should be refined, but if we are on the Savior's path we needn't feel that we are less that whole because our trials might seem punishing.

The Universally Disobeyed Commandment

From Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Come Unto Me," Ensign, April 1998:

Nothing in this world is more burdensome than sin—it is the heaviest cross men and women ever bear.
. . .

The Lord has probably spoken enough . . . comforting words to supply the whole universe, it would seem, and yet we see all around us unhappy Latter-day Saints, worried Latter-day Saints, and gloomy Latter-day Saints into whose troubled hearts not one of these innumerable consoling words seems to be allowed to enter. In fact, I think some of us must have that remnant of Puritan heritage still with us that says it is somehow wrong to be comforted or helped, that we are supposed to be miserable about something.

Consider, for example, the Savior’s benediction upon his disciples even as he moved toward the pain and agony of Gethsemane and Calvary. On that very night, the night of the greatest suffering that has ever taken place in the world or that ever will take place, the Savior said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. … Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27).

I submit to you, that may be one of the Savior’s commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed; and yet I wonder whether our resistance to this invitation could be any more grievous to the Lord’s merciful heart. I can tell you this as a parent: as concerned as I would be if somewhere in their lives one of my children were seriously troubled or unhappy or disobedient, nevertheless I would be infinitely more devastated if I felt that at such a time that child could not trust me to help or thought his or her interest was unimportant to me or unsafe in my care. In that same spirit, I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when he finds that his people do not feel confident in his care or secure in his hands or trust in his commandments.


Just because God is God, just because Christ is Christ, they cannot do other than care for us and bless us and help us if we will but come unto them, approaching their throne of grace in meekness and lowliness of heart. They can’t help but bless us. They have to. It is their nature. 

I just love Elder Holland. And I needed this counsel. I am so prone to doubt myself and my capacity, to carry guilt for every failing past and present, and to fear for how I will fail in the future. I doubt myself when I don't receive an answer I hope for or understand the answer I receive, and I feel inadequate to live up the the blessings that I have received so abundantly. What an unnecessary load to carry! I need to unburden myself more regularly and more fully and to trust more in the Savior whose love I have felt so often and should know better.

Desires and Treasures

From Elder Teh of the Seventy:

I bear testimony that our priorities, tendencies, inclinations, desires, appetites, and passions will have a direct bearing on our next estate. Let us always remember the words of the Savior: “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

When I think of the Lord's statement that I will be judged on my desires, I often tend to link that with my desires for what I hope to someday be, or what deep down I know is best. But I don't always think of my everyday desires and tendencies--all those times I pay attention to lesser things or desire to do easy things instead of hard ones. Those are counted too, and are just as much a part of me as the former desires. Clearly I need to work harder to make my daily choices such that the gap between the two dwindles.

Hope, Repentance, and Mighty Change

The sixth and final point I wish to make about the process of repentance is that we must be careful, as we seek to become more and more godlike, that we do not become discouraged and lose hope. Becoming Christlike is a lifetime pursuit and very often involves growth and change that is slow, almost imperceptible. The scriptures record remarkable accounts of men whose lives changed dramatically, in an instant, as it were: Alma the Younger, Paul on the road to Damascus, Enos praying far into the night, King Lamoni. Such astonishing examples of the power to change even those steeped in sin give confidence that the Atonement can reach even those deepest in despair.

But we must be cautious as we discuss these remarkable examples. Though they are real and powerful, they are the exception more than the rule. For every Paul, for every Enos, and for every King Lamoni, there are hundreds and thousands of people who find the process of repentance much more subtle, much more imperceptible. Day by day they move closer to the Lord, little realizing they are building a godlike life. They live quiet lives of goodness, service, and commitment. They are like the Lamanites, who the Lord said “were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not.” (3 Ne. 9:20; italics added.)

We must not lose hope. Hope is an anchor to the souls of men. Satan would have us cast away that anchor. In this way he can bring discouragement and surrender. But we must not lose hope. The Lord is pleased with every effort, even the tiny, daily ones in which we strive to be more like Him. Though we may see that we have far to go on the road to perfection, we must not give up hope.

Ezra Taft Benson, "A Mighty Change of Heart," Ensign, Oct. 1989. Emphasis added.

Meekness, Pride, and Taking Counsel

I am reading another Neal A. Maxwell Book, called Meek and Lowly. Heads up for a round of quotable Maxwell quotes.

In moments of truth, when meekness matters, other forces, including pride, flow into the chemistry of that moment. Take, for instance, the matter of receiving correct counsel, whether given by a spouse, a family member, a friend, or a church leader. Often the counsel, even when spoken in love, is resisted by the recipient who--chained by pride--focuses instead upon the imperfections of the person giving the counsel.

In another situation, the recipient may have much pride in the position he or she has already taken and refuse to deny himself or herself the continuation of that conduct, lifestyle, or attitude, which denial is at the heart of the solution. However, those who fear losing face cannot have His image in their countenances. (Alma 5:14.)

-Meek and Lowly, p. 57, emphasis added.

Oh my do I love this quote. Witty, poignant, classic.

What it means to be born again.

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:3

Spiritual Toddlers

I love this quote from President Uchtdorf in the Priesthood session of this last General Conference:

It can be discouraging at times to know what it means to be a son of God and yet come up short. The adversary likes to take advantage of these feelings. Satan would rather that you define yourself by your sins instead of your divine potential. Brethren, don’t listen to him.

We have all seen a toddler learn to walk. He takes a small step and totters. He falls. Do we scold such an attempt? Of course not. What father would punish a toddler for stumbling? We encourage, we applaud, and we praise because with every small step, the child is becoming more like his parents.

Now, brethren, compared to the perfection of God, we mortals are scarcely more than awkward, faltering toddlers. But our loving Heavenly Father wants us to become more like Him, and, dear brethren, that should be our eternal goal too. God understands that we get there not in an instant but by taking one step at a time.

I do not believe in a God who would set up rules and commandments only to wait for us to fail so He could punish us. I believe in a Heavenly Father who is loving and caring and who rejoices in our every effort to stand tall and walk toward Him. Even when we stumble, He urges us not to be discouraged—never to give up or flee our allotted field of service—but to take courage, find our faith, and keep trying.

Our Father in Heaven mentors His children and often sends unseen heavenly help to those who desire to follow the Savior.

Repentance unto Life

Tonight I finished reading a Spanish play called La Barca sin Pescador by Alejandro Casona. (Spoiler alert! Don't read this if you don't want to know the entire plot, including the ending.) It is about a man, Ricardo Jordan, who makes a deal with the devil, signing a contract stating that he would kill a man without blood (the devil says he will take care of the killing part), in exchange for the devil rescuing his fortunes and bringing down his enemy. But when the deed is done Ricardo hears the voice wife of the man who was killed (even though it was in a distant location, the devil took his soul there to witness), and he is haunted by his act.

He finally travels to the town where the murder occurred and becomes acquainted with those involved, growing to love them during his two-week stay. Just as he is about to confess his guilt in the murder, he finds out that someone else actually killed the man. The devil was trying an experiment to see if he could ensnare Ricardo with his willingness to kill, even without the act. At the beginning of the conversation, things seemed hopeless; the devil says that no amount of repentance will save him--his tears and regrets don't do any good. Returning the fortunes Ricardo gained in the deal won't help either, since they became worthless to Ricardo after he realized what he had done.

In the end, Ricardo outwits the devil. He says that he contracted to kill a man, without blood, and that is what he will do: he will spend his life killing the terrible man that he used to be, so that in the end, Ricardo Jordan will have killed Ricardo Jordan himself, fulfilling the contract. The devil admits his defeat, and laments that he had originally come to try to finish taking Ricardo's soul, but in the process led Ricardo to the path of love that allowed him to get it back.

I opened up my scriptures to my current reading spot in Acts chapter 11 verse 18: When they heard these things, they held their peace, and glorified God, saying, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.

I love how repentance is characterized as a gift from God, and not a punishment, and in light of the play I just read I got to thinking about what exactly "repentance unto life" means. It means more than tears or regret, sackcloth or ashes--in the end, it means being born into a new life, where we leave behind the person that we used to be and start anew. That is what Ricardo committed to do all the rest of his life, and that is what we commit to do through baptism, to put off the natural man and become a saint. The gift of repentance is not just the gift of being forgiven, but it is also the gift of new life where death once had claim. It is the process of resurrecting the soul that was spiritually dead.

The thought of that miracle, which can change everything and bring new life where it once seemed impossible, just fills me up with love and hope and gratitude.