Elder Holland on Avoiding Temptation

Whether we be single or married, young or old, let’s talk for a moment about how to guard against temptation in whatever form it may present itself. We may not be able to cure all of society’s ills today, but let’s speak of what some personal actions can be.

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  Above all, start by separating yourself from people, materials, and circumstances that will harm you. As those battling something like alcoholism know, the pull of proximity can be fatal. So too in moral matters. Like Joseph in the presence of Potiphar’s wife, ⁴ just run—run as far away as you can get from whatever or whoever it is that beguiles you. And please, when fleeing the scene of temptation, do not leave a forwarding address.
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  Acknowledge that people bound by the chains of true addictions often need more help than self-help, and that may include you. Seek that help and welcome it. Talk to your bishop. Follow his counsel. Ask for a priesthood blessing. Use the Church’s Family Services offerings or seek other suitable professional help. Pray without ceasing. Ask for angels to help you.
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  Along with filters on computers and a lock on affections, remember that the only real control in life is self-control. Exercise more control over even the marginal moments that confront you. If a TV show is indecent, turn it off. If a movie is crude, walk out. If an improper relationship is developing, sever it. Many of these influences, at least initially, may not technically be evil, but they can blunt our judgment, dull our spirituality, and lead to something that could be evil. An old proverb says that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, ⁵so watch your step.
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  Like thieves in the night, unwelcome thoughts can and do seek entrance to our minds. But we don’t have to throw open the door, serve them tea and crumpets, and then tell them where the silverware is kept! (You shouldn’t be serving tea anyway.) Throw the rascals out! Replace lewd thoughts with hopeful images and joyful memories; picture the faces of those who love you and would be shattered if you let them down. More than one man has been saved from sin or stupidity by remembering the face of his mother, his wife, or his child waiting somewhere for him at home. Whatever thoughts you have, make sure they are welcome in your heart by invitation only. As an ancient poet once said, let will be your reason. ⁶
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  Cultivate and be where the Spirit of the Lord is. Make sure that includes your own home or apartment, dictating the kind of art, music, and literature you keep there. If you are endowed, go to the temple as often as your circumstances allow. Remember that the temple arms you “with [God’s] power, … [puts His] glory … round about [you], and [gives His] angels … charge over [you].” ⁷ And when you leave the temple, remember the symbols you take with you, never to be set aside or forgotten.

Jeffrey R. Holland, "Place No More for the Enemy of my Soul," CR April 2010.

Standards and Literature

Worthy literature has been on my mind a lot lately. In trying to find something to read, I started reading a book that turned out to be less than appropriate (not the first time this has happened). Thankfully, before I got very far into the book a couple of wonderful friends tipped me off that there was some content I may want to avoid, and so I moved on to something else. In the interest of time, I am going to paste what I wrote in an email to my friend Ruth about it:

To be honest, I was having a hard time getting into the book; something about the language, though I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe all characters just seem flat after Tolstoy's never-ending descriptions, or maybe (probably) it was just the Spirit telling me not to get too attached to the book =). I should learn my lesson; the last time I grabbed a book from Costco I thought was interesting, I ended up reading one chapter and then returning it.... why is this considered okay, even artistic? I am so wary of anything written in the last few decades because it almost seems like a rite of passage for authors to delve into sexual things, like it's more "honest" the more detail they provide. Ugh!

I remember right after high school I read Les Miserables, and though I've forgotten a lot, something that stuck with me is that when Cosette and Marius are married, he sees them off into the bridal chamber, then says that some things/places are too sacred to follow (granted, this is my paraphrase without having looked at it for over a decade). I loved that because it highlighted that, even in literature, people's intimate lives can be private not because they are secret but because they are beautiful and worth protecting. It made me a little sad to see the musical and see what they had done with the parts about prostitution (not tawdry in the book like in the play!) and at the Thernadiers' place.

I realize that my taste in literature is probably considered boring by a lot of people, but I have gotten to the point that I can't stand finishing a book without feeling like I got something out of it beyond pure entertainment. I don't need an adrenaline rush; I need to fill my brain with things I want to keep with me through all of eternity. So I am about to post lots of quotes on literature that I want to save and remember. To kick things off, here is a snippet from For the Strength of Youth:

Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting. He tries to mislead you into thinking that breaking God’s commandments is acceptable and has no negative consequences for you or others. Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit.

p.s. I do think it is a little bit sad/funny that they don't even mention books here, but I guess that is the generation that is coming up. I guess their mobile device could include a Kindle or Nook =).

Elder Holland, you always make me cry.

In a good way.

“When you have come to the Lord in meekness and lowliness of heart and, as one mother said, “pounded on the doors of heaven to ask for, to plead for, to demand guidance and wisdom and help for this wondrous task,” that door is thrown open to provide you the influence and the help of all eternity. Claim the promises of the Savior of the world. Ask for the healing balm of the Atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children. Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you.

You can’t possibly do this alone, but you do have help. The Master of Heaven and Earth is there to bless you—He who resolutely goes after the lost sheep, sweeps thoroughly to find the lost coin, waits everlastingly for the return of the prodigal son. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.” 

-Jeffrey R. Holland, “‘Because She Is a Mother’,” Ensign, May 1997, 35

Caregiving and Friends

I just watched this talk by President Eyring while I was folding laundry:

The Caregiver, General Relief Society Meeting October 2012

And a friend of mine from high school recently wrote this about mommyhood and making/being friends:

On Being a Good Friend

Both of them got me thinking tonight. I am super guilty of being a bad friend/not making friends. I am guilty of talking more than listening. I am guilty of neglecting even the people in my stewardship because I am too wrapped up in being self-conscious, too frustrated with kids, too concerned with the state of my house or nap schedules or even just that it is a pain to get my kids into shoes and strap them in the car.

Some of the scaling back is okay and needed in this season of my life, but some of it has become a layer of excuses for not engaging the way I should, for not investing myself in others, for not reaching out and loving selflessly because, let's face it, I'm overwhelmed as is and we'll be leaving soon anyway.

Satan is so tricky! Always trying to convince me that extending my love to others will increase my load rather than lightening it. Always trying to tell me that I will be happier as a hermit because it is easier, as if ease were a desirable objective in and of itself. I didn't have kids because it's easy, why should I keep us all cooped up in the house out of selfishness because that is easy? And guess what!? It actually isn't easier because we are all happier when we don't fall into that rut!

So I have been dragging myself out of the house. Getting dressed so I won't be embarrassed to see people. Taking my kids to the park and playing with them to boot. Visiting my sister and her kids who live 20 minutes from here but we would go weeks without seeing. Writing sincere notes, chatting, and calling people when I think about them. Visiting the sisters I am called to visit and love. And each time I am so happy! I am happy now just thinking of a couple of recent conversations! I know there is so much more I could be doing, but for now I am just working on opening myself up so that when opportunities come I can actually take them and enjoy them. There is a reason the Lord organizes His Church in communities; we are happier when we go outside ourselves, even if it is hard.

The Lord's Anointed.

I got another link to a well-intentioned but potentially contentious group of LDS women advocating for women to be able to breastfeed in Church meetings. To be honest, in general I don't care to voice an opinion on the matter. We all have different comfort levels and come from different backgrounds, and I think it matters much less if one side is right or wrong as it matters how we treat and consider each other in discussion and practice. So my personal take on breastfeeding in public isn't really relevant to what I want to say.

What always makes me a little uncomfortable about these "grassroots movements" that seem to keep popping up on the internet is that they may invite criticism and disparaging of Church leaders, and that is something that I have covenanted not to do. The Lord makes that point pretty clear:

“Cursed are all those that shall lift up the heel against mine anointed, saith the Lord, and cry they have sinned when they have not sinned before me, saith the Lord, but have done that which was meet in mine eyes, and which I commanded them.” (D&C 121:16.)

As I was thinking about that commandment, something somewhat obvious occurred to me for the first time: every member of the Church who has received the temple endowment has been anointed. And there are probably even more uses and connotations for that word that would bring a broader range of people within its meaning. Of course you can say that the scripture is talking about Church leadership and specifically the Prophet Joseph, and it is, but in some form we are all part of that leadership. Our specific stewardship may change over time, but we are all called and consecrated to the work. So really, I shouldn't be speaking evil of anyone. And that is, of course, a given, but takes on more weight in light of the covenants I've made and the promises I've received in exchange.

C.S. Lewis on Homemaking

You can get this and other awesome printables here!

Tolstoy on Morality and "Greatness"

From War and Peace, p. 1267-8, speaking in regards to how historians treat the retreat of Napoleon out of Russia (and his exploits in general):

When it is impossible to stretch the very elastic thread of historical ratiocination any farther, when an action flagrantly contradicts all that humanity calls good and even right, the historians fetch out the saving idea of 'greatness'. 'Greatness' would appear to exclude all possibility of applying standards of right and wrong. For the 'great' man nothing is wrong; there is no atrocity for which a 'great' man can be blamed.

'C'est grand!' cry the historians, and that is enough. Goodness and evil have ceased to be: there is only 'grand' and not 'grand'. Grand is good, not-grand is bad. To be grand is according to them the necessary attribute of certain exceptional animals called by them 'heroes'. And Napoleon, taking himself off home wrapped in a warm fur cloak and abandoning to their fate not only his comrades but men who (in his belief) were there because he had brought them there, feels que c'est grand, and his soul is at ease.

'From the sublime' (he saw something sublime in himself) 'to the ridiculous there is only one step,' said he. And for fifty years the whole world has gone on repeating, 'Sublime! Grand! Napoleon le grand!'

Du sublime au ridicule il n'y a qu'un pas!

And it never enters anyone's head that to admit a greatness not commensurable with the standard of right and wrong is merely to admit one's own nothingness and immeasurable littleness.

For us who have hte standard of good and evil given us by Christ, nothing can claim to be outside the law. And there is no greatness where simplicity, goodness and truth are absent.